Coping with a Fussy Baby
- 11-04-2008, 08:13 AM #9Registered User
- Join Date
- Jan 2007
I really feel for you as I was there. I didn't feel like a failure but I did wonder how I would make it through the day with a baby that cried so much and a little 16 month old to look after. I had a helper but she was completely useless so I didn't let her touch the baby at all so not much help to me.
My second child had reflux and colic. The colic made him want to feed all day long to soothe himself and the reflux meant that the excessive feeding actually made him feel worse. Add to that all sorts of breastfeeding issues, I had very fast let down that he couldn't cope with and a whole myriad of other problems (mastitis, sore nipples, could only breastfeed lying down and even then he'd pull on an off the breast throughout each feed) and I'm surprised I now have a happy child! He used to cry and cry, literally inconsolably and it would drive me nuts. His cry was awful too, like an angry cry, it didn't make me want to comfort him just run away! I'm trying to be honest so you can see you are not alone in whatever you are feeling.
All of this made it very hard to bond with him as I was always so tense. I used to take him out every evening very late just to get out of the house and let him cry and hopefully, eventually fall asleep in his pram.
Like Aussiemum we got him onto reflux medication but only needed to use it for a month. It seemed to help a lot. They say they grow out of reflux at about 4 months and that's what happened with us though I have to admit he didn't sleep through the night for a long long time after that.
I recommend finding a support group or at least hooking up with other people (online or in person) going through what you are going through. Also, don't be afraid to leave your baby to cry in his room and walk away if you need to. Your baby will be fine and even a 5 minute break will probably help you.
I heard on BBC world service just the other day that a lengthy study was done about how to make your baby happy, sleep well etc. Basically you need to imitate the womb environment as much as possible. That means swaddling (are you doing it right or maybe he's one of the few babies who doesn't like it) and having loud noises around the baby. Remember that when she was in your tummy she heard all sorts of noises at all hours of the day and managed to sleep fine. Even putting on a vacuum cleaner is supposed to help! I remember with our first that we played music for him from day one every time he slept and he was a very easy baby, great sleeper. Might be worth a try. I think there are white noise cds you can get if you don't want to leave regular music on.
The study also recommends movement at sleep time. Whether you rock the baby or put her in a crib that rocks. It mimics the movement your body made that would put her to sleep in the womb. I wouldn't worry about setting up a bad habit. We rocked our little one to sleep for months and it had no negative bearing on his sleeping habits. These days you can literally dump him in his bed and tell him it's time to sleep and he rolls over and goes to sleep!
It might also be an idea to carry your baby in a sling throughout the day so you can get things done and she can be close to you. I think babies like this need a lot of love and physical contact with mum helps. You want a good material sling, not a baby bjorn which is just plain uncomfortable.
Good luck and try to take things a day at a time. That's how I got through.
- 11-06-2008, 12:17 AM #10Registered User
- Join Date
- Jul 2006
I feel for you so much! My daughter had terrible colic followed by sleep disorder for 6 months. I ended up having hallucinations and loosing sense of myself.
To cut the story short - please get help as much as you can. I had real issues with that, but after not knowing where I left the baby anymore and starting to fall on the ground in the middle of the night I ended up getting more help. I found lots of information on Babyswhisperer.com forums, but in reality, you actually need someone to take baby off your hands from time to time...
Hugs, pm me is you would like to chat privately.
- 11-09-2008, 03:11 AM #11Registered User
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
- sheung shui
Thanks so much for all the support. I think I am going home for a bit of family support. Hopefully, when I return, she will be out of this phase :) Thanks again.
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