Coping with a Fussy Baby
- 11-03-2008, 06:58 PM #1Registered User
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Coping with a Fussy Baby
Hello, I was wondering if anybody shares a similar experience. My 2.5 month old baby seems to cry nonstop and I am begining to lose my mind. I don't have a domestic helper and my husband works quite a bit so basically I am with a crying baby 24 hours 7 days a week. I am not sure why she cries so much and the only time she seems content is when she is eating or sleeping. It is very hard to get her to sleep as she often waves her arms and legs uncontrollably and screams before finally she gives up and falls asleep. Also, we need to be next to her or rock her to sleep to get her to sleep (she cosleeps with us). She was a premature baby, 5 weeks, and she often has gas. I breastfeed her a little b/c I don't produce that much and also give her formula. Has anyone had a similar experience? Is there support groups for people like me? I feel like a failure as a parent....please help.
- 11-03-2008, 08:27 PM #2Registered User
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You are NOT a failure. Looking after a newborn is one of the hardest things you can do, nothing can prepare you for how relentless and exhausting it can be. Having said that it WILL get better. I didn't have any help with my first, and a husband who worked long hours, so I know how you feel.
You say your baby waves her arms and legs before going to sleep - have you tried to swaddle her? Some babies love this and others don't, but it's worth a try. For gas, Infacol might work (it did with my first, but not my second).
Did you do antenatal classes? If so, get in touch with some of the other new mothers as they are probably all feeling the same as you. Or join one of the LLL meetings for support with breastfeeding. Or take baby for a walk near where you leave (eg, to a playground or playroom) and introduce yourself to other mothers. If you delivered at Matilda, they have a mother and baby group each week.
Ask for advice from your paediatrician if you are worried about your baby, or attend one of the government clinics. Some OBs and paediatricans offer "Well Baby" clinics. Otherwise organize a home visit from a midwife/health visitor, eg, from Annerly Midwives or Yvonne Heavyside of The Family Zone.
You are not alone, believe me. Best of luck.
- 11-03-2008, 09:18 PM #3Registered User
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I have a wonderful paed here in HK who has convinced me that there is no such thing as a "fussy baby" that cries just for fussing sake. He believes that no baby cries 24/7 without a reason.
It might be worthwhile going to see someone just to be on the safe side.
My first child was an easy baby for the first days, weeks and months of his life. he just slept basically.
My youngest (currently 4 months) was ok-ish for the first 4 weeks and from then on basically didn't stop screaming. He was feeding well and sleeping well at night so I thought he must just be fussy. I honestly thought - easy baby first time, i was bound to get a fussy one next time around!
It continued to get worse and worse until one day i took him to see Dr Thondup (our paed). I said to the doctor that I didn't even know why i was there really but that i thought my baby cried too much and that maybe there was a reason.. he asked a few questions and thought that it was possibly silent reflux. I agreed to try the medication for 2 weeks and see if it helped. If it didn't help the dr was going to ask more questions and keep trying to find the problem. After 3 days on the medication i had a happy baby back! Now that he is 4 months old we are slowly weaning him off the drugs.
now of course I am not diagnosing your baby with silent reflux but i do think it is worth going to see a doctor to see if perhaps there is a reason why your baby is fussy. as there was with mine. I only wish now that I didn't wait so long before seeking medical help!!
Also, i would definitely try swaddling her if she is flailing her arms and legs as you describe. the moro reflex can be really strong in young babies and without swaddling they continuously jerk themselves awake as they are trying to get to sleep.
- 11-03-2008, 09:26 PM #4Registered User
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Thanks for the advice :) Can I get the number of your paed dr? I have tried swaddling her and she screams louder and grunts to get her arms free. I still try to swaddler her though but not sure if it is the best thing. The alternative is to let her move her arms and legs which keeps her awake even longer. I have also tried Infacol and gripe water and haven't noticed much of a difference.
- 11-03-2008, 09:32 PM #5Registered User
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Do try Dr Thondup if you can - I think he is wonderful - but very busy so try and get his first appointment of the morning or afternoon so he is less likely to be rushed.
Dr Thondup
Veritas Medical Practice
Suite 2902, Bank Of America Tower
12 Harcourt Road
Central
ph: 2877 3118
- 11-03-2008, 09:47 PM #6Registered User
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Thank you so much, I will try him tomorrow
- 11-03-2008, 09:53 PM #7Registered User
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You could also try a cranial osteopath. We went for a variety of reasons and thought the treatment made a big difference to our baby's general well being (calmer, fed better etc.). We saw Caroline Rhodes at the Body Group and Ines de Beer at OT&P both of whom were wonderful.
- 11-03-2008, 10:35 PM #8Registered User
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I found going to support groups in the early days really helps... it's amazing when you go just how much of the same things other mothers with babies of the same age are going through! It always made me feel so much better after going (I went to the Matilda mums & bubs).
You don't have to have delivered at the Matilda to go to their mums and bubs group - it's on Thursday mornings - here's the link (http://www.matilda.org/eng/healthedu/babygroup.php)
You can also go to similar at Annerley (http://www.annerley.com.hk/Index.htm)
The Matilda also have a Baby Well Clinic with a lovely lady there Christal. It costs HK$150 for a consultation and you can get your baby weighed/measured and discuss issues/problems to get advice.
As others have mentioned checking with a paed is also a good idea to rule out any reflux or other issues.
And there is always the lovely people on here for support!
Belinda
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