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I don't understand why......

  1. #9
    aussiegal is offline Registered User
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    Query, I wouldn't worry about what other people think, especially grandparents who have long forgotten about how unruly children can be. My mother in law remembers only the good in her two sons. The way she talks they ate everything they were given, shared their toys and never had a tantrum. Yeah right

    Personally I always wonder what's wrong with a 2 year old that sits quietly while its parents eat their lunch?! Horses for courses.

  2. #10
    capital is offline Banned
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    I agree it is the age. Our stategy is to let our 2 year old sit on my lap until the food comes and then he has to sit in his own chair. Also helps if he is really hungry. Now at 2 1/2 is it much easier.
    there were a few times when we have had to leave the restaurant altogether and go home, and for awhile, especially when he was one, going out to eat was just so painful and unenjoyable we hardly went out. The hardest thing thought, is when you have the problem of grandparents. My father in law doesn't understand why we would not want to sit in fromt of a dim sum restaurant on the weekend waiting for a table forever and then sit and have a long and leisurrly meal with and 2 and 4 year old. It is especially hard on trips because we end up eating out a lot for a few weeks and the noveltly definatly wears offs and they can't understand why our children are not perfectly behaved for 3 weeks staight while going through jet lag, total distruption in routine, have hardly any toys, and being in public/sight seeing/shoppping for days on end!

  3. #11
    HappyV is offline Registered User
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    It's a very peculiar paradigm which expects very young children to act exactly like little adults. Not every child is the same. I have a friend whose child goes nutty in any restaurant that has flourescent (sp?) lighting. Other children simply find it over stimulating.

    I would agree with the posters who have said that your child's behavoiru is not the province of inlaws to dictate or expect. You are the parent - do what is right for you. If your child won't sit still - they are npot being 'naughty' - they are simply being children.

    We ask them to grow up too quickly as it is.

  4. #12
    Konradsmom is offline Registered User
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    Thanks for everyone's comments, it gives me comfort in knowing that I'm not alone.

    I don't honestly expect him to be able to make it through the whoel meal, but sometimes hoping he'll keep still for 10 mins seems to be asking a lot. The only he gets to see the extended family ( granny, uncles , aunties) would be Sunday night when the family goes out for dinner, and we find it so hard to include him, cos the whole clan starts running around.

    I just wanted to find a way to gently help him get used to restaurants and sitting with us at least for a short while, I do understand he is only 14 months.

    The other reason why I wanted to take him with us on meals is because he seems to have very little tolerance for strangers - case in point, a friend came over for dinner at our place last night, and at the sight of a new face at the table he started crying ( I was holding him and sitting at a distance), so I wanted him to start getting used to new faces and new environments.

    On this slightly different note, does anyone have any advice? I know toddlers have stranger anxiety, but not sure how much of this is stranger anxiety, how much is just him not used to new things.....

  5. #13
    Neha is offline Banned
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    We were afraid of also our son not being social. It helped us by putting in various fun activities and parks where he met other people and helped us alot. u can try some activities

  6. #14
    mel_g20 is offline Registered User
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    Maybe it is just me, maybe its because I am from the UK where some terrible things have happened to children, but I do not encourage my children to be friendly with strangers. I am happy for them to take their time to get to know people in our social group, but as they get older I will be teaching them NOT to trust strangers. I worry that HK feels like a safer environment, but really there must be the same worries about abduction.?? Sorry, doesnt really answer anyones question I guess, just poses a question of my own.

  7. #15
    MilkMonster is offline Registered User
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    hi there, we went through something similar at 14mths where my son would refuse to sit and would cry and scream whenever we went out to eat...we took a harder approach...so not sure if it's right for everyone but i'll just share our experience so you have some reference.

    we decided to eat out more. haha it was a nightmare. we went out for 2 meals a week lunch or dinner and just didn't give in. we would firmly say, it's meal time now, you have to sit. it was really embarrassing and it must have been awful for the other diners but we chose kid friendly sort of noisy places and would have dinner at 530pm so the restaurant would be fairly empty. we didn't take him out of the highchair or walk him around. the objective was to get him to sit...mind you hubby and i would scarf our food and meals were really quick around 45mins total from the time we arrived until we paid and left. we usually asked for the bill as soon as the food came so we could leave as soon as we finished eating.

    it took us a month but it worked!! at 15mths we could go out for a 1.5hr meal (as long as he's not tired) without screaming. we bring along books and toys so he can play in his chair after he finishes eating but he doesn't cry to get out of the chair. all was good for a few months...

    now my son is 22mths and has his own opinion about everything so we are facing the same challenge as we did before so i think like some posted above maybe the magic age is 3yrs...or that's what i'm hoping anyway!!

    good luck :)

  8. #16
    Konradsmom is offline Registered User
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    Hi Milk Monster - somehow I think I agree with your method, and perhaps I can try it whe the restaurants are relatively empty to save embarassment, I think we gave in too too early along the way and allowed him to be walked around and now it has gone to the point where even 2 mins is a lot to ask....

    I might try it and see whether it works....or I can put up with the racket !!

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