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Crying it out

  1. #57
    MilkMonster is offline Registered User
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    Have a great holiday Mushi!! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone!!

    PutPut, usually when my kids are sick, they are clingy and emotional - i don't think it has anything to do with CIO. Hold off until they are well again and you are emotionally ready. It's tough enough already to do CIO and follow through, don't start if you don't think it's the right time. Eventually you will get there and we are all here to support you through it!!!


  2. #58
    putput is offline Registered User
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    Thanks all, and a very merry x-mas and happy new year to you all too.


  3. #59
    peainpod is offline Registered User
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    Hi moms, I've been following this thread with great interest since I too have a baby (9 mths now) who is not sleeping well at all. Right now he gets up at least twice in the night after being put down at 8:30-9p.m. - usually around 12 a.m. and again around 3-4'ish. I usually nurse him back to sleep (v bad, i know). Anyway, it's doubly hellish b/c i'm a working mom.

    So I've been meaning to do CIO (i get this great resolve when I read your posts, which is v inspiring) but the reason I haven't started is because I know my husband most likely won't go for it. (We've had a conversation and he says "we can try" in this doubtful voice which means that he'll probably go in when it gets tough.)

    My question is this: my HELPER is very supportive of the process and we are thinking of doing it for the daytime naps first and LATER trying it out for bedtime. So my question is: is that possible? Or should I just try to convince my husband?

    I would really appreciate your advice. Thanks!!


  4. #60
    putput is offline Registered User
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    Not really in a position to advise seeing as I'm in the same boat but I think CIO for daytime naps but not night sleep would be harder. Firstly, your day passes by with your little one crying and it's frustrating. Secondly, I find it screws up the night time routine as by the time my daughter's asleep, it's too close to her next nap time or bed time. Thirdly, assuming the room is brighter during the day, baby can be easily distracted and find it harder to settle. I guess if you're doing both day and night, it's neither her nor there but just daytime may be tough. Experienced CIO mums can probably advise better!


  5. #61
    MilkMonster is offline Registered User
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    Hey mommies, I just wanted to tell everyone that our recent trip to singapore went really well!!! NO CRYING at all before bedtime. I would feed my 7mth old his milk after his bath, put him into the grobag and lay him down awake at 7pm and he would sleep through to 6am, wake up and talk for a bit, then back to sleep until 8am!!!!!! I was sooooo relieved!!!!! We are now back in HK and had crying the first night we were back - about 15mins. i think it's because we live in a noisy area and he prefers a quiet room...but he will have to get used to it. Tonight is the 2nd night and there was no crying. i hope it stays like this!!!

    peainpod - i think it's ok for you to do CIO for naps first. how does your baby go to sleep for naps? does helper milk him to sleep?

    CIO is actually about establishing a habit for your baby so if he can learn to sleep during the day without help, when you eventually do it for bedtime, it should be smoother since he will already know from naps. I also think it's important for both parents to agree and follow through on a method. if you disagree about CIO for bedtime, then wait until he is able to sleep for naps without help so you can show your husband that it is possible.

    From experience, you will need each others support when the baby is crying. if one person always wants to rush in, it will be difficult to follow through. For babies, once you start CIO, it's most kind to stick to it. otherwise you will actually end up training your baby to cry longer before bed since he will learn that eventually you will come and nurse him.

    It took us about a month from when we first started to this past week which i would now consider my son as sleeping through the night. There were good nights, bad nights, alternating up until now.

    If your helper is doing CIO during the day, make sure she has clear instructions on what to do and for how long, etc. so you know exactly what she is doing every time.


  6. #62
    southside852 is offline Registered User
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    obviously do what you feel comfortable doing with CIO, but remember that if you baby senses mixed messages (ie parent behaviour differs during daytime sleeping versus night time sleeping, it might screw him up.) see how it goes though first and if he/she is still not sleeping though the night you might want to consider the above as a factor. it's hard, but stay with it. good luck!


  7. #63
    peainpod is offline Registered User
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    Thanks for the input, everyone. (MilkMonster, congratulations! It's so nice to hear that you've succeeded - gives me something to aim for...)

    So I had a serious discussion with hubby and again, he wasn't *unsupportive* except he really did want to be there to start with. (He said either he or I should be there - i.e. not just leave our helper to do it herself - as we as parents should be a better judge of what's best for our child.)

    Also he made a valid point that we haven't tried ANY form of sleep training at all with our baby so is it really good to go for such a drastic way right away? He was suggesting maybe we should do the "putting him in bed awake and patting him to sleep" first, to see if that will do the trick.

    What do you think? Should I take the softer approach first or take the plunge and go straight for CIO (for daytime first)?


  8. #64
    southside852 is offline Registered User
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    give it a try as it doesn't hurt and it's important that you and your husband are on the same page. if that is his comfort level, then that's it for now.

    before doing CIO, we tried the patting on the back, but every time we did it, my son thought was playtime and immediately stood up in bed....every child is different and responds differently to each approach.


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