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Queen Mary and Husbands!

  1. #9
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    also, keep in mind, in QMH the nurses do the baby bathing, NOT you, but after my two c-sections, i can honestly say, if the bathing had been up to me, it wouldn't have gotten done. there was no way that i would have been up for it. (can't say what it is like with natural birth, never even been in labour!)

  2. #10
    MuminHK is offline Registered User
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    hi.. I'm having a baby in July and wanted to find out whether at the QMH the baby stays with you all the time (ie overnight etc) or does it go back to a nursery at night to sleep?

  3. #11
    carang's Avatar
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    that is up to you.

  4. #12
    Polly is offline Registered User
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    Personally, I didn't think it was that big a deal that my husband couldn't stay with me after the birth. It was late at night and you just want to sleep, right, in between feeding baby. I think even if it was the middle of the day, you'll just want to sleep whenever you can. The biggest deal for me was the worry about husbands not being allowed with you in the 'side ward' if you go in in labour but you're less than 3cms. There, you can't have your hubby with you and you can't have pain relief, should you want it. A silver lining for me, in having to be induced, was that I avoided the side ward business and went straight to the labour suite. For my next, I'll definitely invest in an Annerley Midwives' Doula so I can comfortably delay going in without worrying I'm leaving it too long so we can go straight to the labour suite.

  5. #13
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    I am delivering in QM in July and have come to terms with it! I am from the States and husband is from Australia - we thought about delivering in one of the 2 countries but then decided to stay in HK. First baby - don't know when it will happen, etc.
    There were certain things that I did not like about QM - main reason that my husband could not be with me at all times. BUT, it is only like 3 days in the hospital and then you go home. Trust me, I am not has laye back as this last paragraph sounds but one important thing to us is we are having an Annerlet DOula come to our place until we are ready to go to the hospital! That is really what is putting my mind at ease!!


  6. #14
    carang's Avatar
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    after having gone through it, i can assure you that it isn't as bad as it seems. i've done it twice and been hospitalised in the maternity ward 13 times....i actually started to look at it as a retreat. i know it sounds strange, but when i was at home, i worried about hubby, i wanted to play with my son and felt guilty that i couldn't... at the hospital, what i did was pretty much up to me.

    now, i realise going when you are in labour is different to what i experienced, but i just wanted you to know that it really isn't awful.

    just a couple of quick pointers:
    soho delivers will deliver to hospital
    have a shower in the morning, they are usually cleaned around 9-10am and i always tried to be first one in after they were done.
    eyepatch and earplugs are ESSENTIAL
    if you go in early, take a laptop, ipod or some such to keep your mind off things...

  7. #15
    MLBW Guest
    Oh, thanks for posting the information here. I am always interested to hear about the actual situation in HK hospitals.

    More and more I know that it wouldn't have been okay for us to have our baby in a public hospital here in HK (we decided to go back to the States--where I'm from--husband is Hong Kong Chinese) as I really depended upon my husband and mother's support throughout labor (a long one--43 hours w/out pain meds).

    I would say they did the brunt of the work in helping me and the midwife was there as a "lifeguard" in case something went wrong etc. It would feel very lonely and frightening for me to be in labor for the first time (and to have the type of labor I had) without my husband and mother there. I can guess that I would have probably hyperventilated and then they would have had to sedate me and one thing leads to another, y'know. Just having my husband and mother there had an extremely calming effect--especially since my husband was trained in a 3-month course on how to help in labor as was my mom--he got to "catch" our son, cut the umbilical cord and be present for the first bath as well as many other things. he midwife stood by and instructed him at crucial points. He slept in the bed next to me while I recovered--I couldn't walk for about two days afterward without passing out.

    I don't know how QMH is but a friend who delivered at a public hospital in Mong Kok told me her horror story and I was shocked--from what she said, the nurses are heartless and not helpful (during labor she had to manually adjust the bed incline with a rusty crank because the nurses refused to do it. Babies crying all night long with no help from hospital staff--only to find out the baby was hungry but the new mother was not instructed on what to do or how to take care of the situation).

    Especially alarming to me is this. When I watched this story break on the news, I was about 8 weeks pregnant. It's very rattling to me now because after I delivered the placenta I did hemmorhage--very nearly had a transfusion. The midwife who was there was also the physician I had my last trimester checkups with. The first time she saw my face she said, "I've been delivering babies for 30 years--in hospitals, homes and birth centers and you, my friend, have red hair and fair skin. I don't want to alarm you, but in my experience, for some reason, those women with your features often have bleeding problems." So, when I did, in fact have bleeding problems, she quickly set about saving my life because mentally she was prepared. I don't think with the modern medicine available that we should be reading stories about women bleeding to death in childbirth--especially when it's because there just isn't a doctor around to help.

    And of course, no one wants or expects to have a crisis like that happen to them in childbirth but if it does, my husband and I sure as heck need to know that a competent doctor who gives a damn is there to save me.

  8. #16
    carang's Avatar
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    i agree, my aunt, who had twins 25 years ago also had read hair etc and needed 6 blood transfusions!

    luckily, even with my red hair, i was ok.

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