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Getting used to being carried before sleeping?

  1. #1
    yuukalim0404 is offline Registered User
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    Getting used to being carried before sleeping?

    Everytime my bb wants to sleep she needs to be carried, rocked and pat before falling asleep and if we put her down too quickly she wakes up immediately and starts howling.
    I wonder when is a safe age to continue carrying her for sleep before she starts to get used to all this?
    She is 3.5mths now.

  2. #2
    MLBW Guest
    Oooh. Yeah. I would start as soon as possible on getting her out of this habit--my son was similar but now he weighs close to 11.5 kilos (he is 13-months-old) and there is no way my back could handle packing him around like that now. Maybe your daughter will not get as tall and big as my son by the time she is 1-year-old but still, the principle is to give your babies the opportunity to learn how to put themselves to sleep--it takes a long time with some babies and children--which depends a lot on personality--but the sooner you get a system and skills for helping her learn how to sleep on her own better--the better for her and you. But, the good news is that 3.5 months isn't "too late"--it's better to start a good habit early, rather than have to destroy a bad habit later.

  3. #3
    mosmom is offline Registered User
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    you will probably read lots of different opinions here.. i think "training" a 3.5-month-old baby is not appropriate. if she needs this contact with you before falling asleep, i would give it to her..
    my daughter needed to be held before sleep as well up until she got about 1 year old (!). after that, i started to believe that it was time to train her.. now, she happily takes her lunch time nap all by herself (i put her into her cot, she cuddles with her bunny, and will fall asleep as she plays - within 10-15 mins). for her nighttime sleep, i hold her at my chest for 2 minutes, then put her into her cot and pat her to sleep (10 mins max).
    i know that with MY daughter, i couldn't have started a "training programme" any time earlier. she only "gets" it now; before, she needed to be carried, i'm afraid (and she was a chubby one, too). every child is different. you may try some methods - as long as she accepts them w/out suffering, why not? but i wouldn't force her into something she's not ready for. good luck!

  4. #4
    putput is offline Registered User
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    mosmom,

    How did you train your daughter? How long did it take?

  5. #5
    wenyihsu is offline Registered User
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    Every baby is different and every parent is different. It sounds cruel, but we did a little bit of sleep training when my baby was 4.5 months. He had gotten used to being rocked to sleep on a trip to the US but I just couldn't physically do it anymore. He weighed 17 pounds and both my back and arms were giving out. It got so bad that on some nights, it would take him 1 hour to fall asleep. Before starting anything, I literally bought 5-7 different books on all the different theories out there and then kind of put together a plan of our own. I'm glad to say that within 2 weeks, he learned to fall asleep on his own for both his naps and night sleeping. The first 2 nights were definitely the hardest but things improved really quickly after that. truly think that it was the best thing that we did. Because he learned how to soothe himself to sleep, he was more rested and generally a happier baby. I was also in much better shape physically. But like I said, everyone is different. You just need to figure out a method that works for you and your baby.

  6. #6
    putput is offline Registered User
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    I'm trying to train my 8 month old daughter but really struggling. She howls whenever I put her down and then howls when I pick her back up again!!! Not sure what to do!mosmom and wenyihsu, would appreciate hearing your experiences and how you achieved success.

  7. #7
    peainpod is offline Registered User
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    Same here! Generally we have a very happy baby (now just-turned 9 mths) but we just can't seem to be able to get him to settle down by himself. (He actually did for about 3 days last month but then he got roseola and became really cranky and after he recovered, we weren't able to get him back to it.) Unless he is very sleepy, he'll scream and howl if we put him down in the crib for either a nap or bedtime. :-(

  8. #8
    wenyihsu is offline Registered User
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    We did controlled crying with my son. But keep in mind this method takes a lot of determination as the first couple of nights will be tough ... Basically, following my son's bedtime routine, we would put him in his crib, **** him, say good night, and then leave the room. Of course, he would start crying immediately, so for the first night, we waited 2 minutes before going into the room. Then I would go into the room, and pat him on his back to comfort him - but I also tried not to talk too much to him. I would only really say "shhh, shhh, shh" just to try to calm him down while patting his back. Once he settled down, I would leave the room again. The next time, I waited 3 minutes, go in and do the same thing. Everytime before going in, I would add another minute but I never waited any longer than 15 minutes. I think he cried on and off for about 45 minutes before he fell asleep. The next night, the same thing. By the third night, I waited a little longer before going in for the first time - 5 minutes. And then the following night, we would wait longer again - each night waiting a little longer before going in.
    For his naps, I did the same. From my experience, it was easy to get him to sleep on his own for his naps. I think it only took 2 days to correct the problem. It was the night sleeping that took longer. But by the 5th night, he was only really crying for less than 10 minutes before falling asleep. And for there to be no crying at all, it took a little less than 2 weeks.
    Just from talking to friends, I have heard that the older the babies are, the longer it takes for controlled crying to work. They are just a lot more aware. In addition, this method will not work for all babies. I have heard of babies who get so worked up that they throw up from crying. Anyways, good luck!

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