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Are there any moms out there without a helper?

  1. #9
    aussie mum is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    I remember being in your exact same situation when I lived at Parkview for 3 months when we first arrived (about 18months ago).

    I had a lot of success posting on geobaby and arranging to meet up with people. Definitely give it a go!

    We have a helper and I wouldn't have it any other way. We love her and and as aussiegal said I'm one of the ones making the most of having help live-in help while we can afford it!!

    I really really hate going to the playground where we live. its just not my thing so I do it as rarely as i can get away with!!
    I much prefer taking the kids to play at the beach or activities or playdates with friends. As my kids both love the playground its the perfect thing for my helper to do with them as its close, safe, free etc. They can pop down for anything from 10mins to an hour while i get other things done or have appointments etc.

  2. #10
    Nashua852's Avatar
    Nashua852 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Yuen Long, Hong Kong

    My son is 15 months old and we dont have a helper. We have a cleaning lady that babysits for us sometimes, but she comes in once a week. As I'm pregnant with number 2 (9 weeks and counting, fingers crossed) we'll probably end up hiring one eventually.

    Also, I was a Hong Kong kid, I grew up here and had helpers around a lot when I was a kid. My own mum was ALWAYS there for her kids, and although I have fond memories of the various 'aunties' that came and went, it in no way reflected my relationship with my mother. Her reason for hiring a helper was so she could be a more hands on parent. And she was, and I just about have to barricade the entrance to our building to stop her from being such a hands on granny! ;)

    As a previous poster said one of the best ways to find friends is via this site..I cannot tell you how many treasured friendships I've made with other mums as a result of Geobaby. There are concerns of helper attachment, having someone invade your private space etc. But these just have to be dealt with as time goes by. Some parents find it harder than others.

    I must say, I'm personally seduced by the idea of having a helper, especially when its nearing 1 in the morning and I've still got a pan and 2 baby bottles to wash. It's also the extra time it allows. I love my son to death and Im excited about having another one but I realize a helper would enable this not to be as much of a waiting game in things I want to do (I dont like using the word sacrifice / the kids never asked me to make any)..I could do that distance degree NOW with an extra hour to my day here and there...or start that company quicker, god forbid watch a movie with my husband without having to drag a suitcase, baby, buggy, and food to my mum's for a sleepover.

    I think, bottom line, its a personal choice. But I have to say its nice to privileged enough to be able to make that choice. For us, the viablility of a helper really depends on the next school my husband will be teaching at. I wish you the best of luck. If you're happy with the cleaning aspect of houseowrk taken care of for you..and it allows you to have that special time with your son, then maybe for you thats all you need.

    Also, re library storytelling? According to the website its only in cantonese. I find that a crying shame.

    I've ranted. Forgive me. Welcome to Hong Kong.
    Last edited by Nashua852; 03-09-2009 at 10:50 AM. Reason: spelling
    Proud Mama to Kian Danyaal 08.12.2007 & Adara Michelle 10.10.2009

  3. #11
    kiwiinoz is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Hong Kong
    I have 2 children (4 and almost 2) and I don't have a helper. We have been here 8 months, and it is hard. I don't understand WHY is it so much harder here than back home, but it is. I have a cleaner who comes once a week - a godsend, but the difficulty I find is that it is hard to schedule things, and my 4 year old daughters school take it that people with more than one child have a helper for granted. She has had to miss out on school excursions because of it, and I feel bad about that.
    Even with my daughter in school, trying to venture around Hong Kong, and even something simple like supermarket shopping, is such a challenge... taking an almost 2 year old and a stroller on a minibus is enough to put me off going out some days. He hates shopping and makes sure I know it. My days seem to be sucked away from me so quickly...
    We don't have a babysitter, so going out for a quiet dinner once in a blue moon has now become never... but we're surviving... just.
    The reason we don't have a helper is 1) because I thought I could manage without one (I'll admit I was wrong) and 2) because of the uncertain job future.
    Yes - there are lots of helpers who take the kids to the playgrounds, but there are also lots of stay at homes mums who do that too. I've met some fantastic mums through these boards who meet up in Happy Valley and the children have a wonderful time while I get some much needed adult conversation.

  4. #12
    justineg is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    We are moving from Sydney and going to be staying at Parkview for at least a month while we house hunt (from April 4th) and it would be great to have another mum to meet up with (I have a nearly-3 year old son).

    I will PM you when we get there.

  5. #13
    katyw is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Mid Levels
    My boys are 5 and 3 and I've never had a fulltime helper, just someone to clean 2-3 times a week. I admit it is hard sometimes but I'm a really hands on Mum and I feel like my boys never miss out! We have lots of friends so have lots of playdates lined up during the week. We have less spontaniety than most friends with help and I have less time to shop and go to the gym etc but other than that I don't feel that I miss out. It helps that my husband is very hands on though too!!

  6. #14
    aussiegal is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Quote Originally Posted by chelle_law View Post
    I did notice most activities here are rather pricey, so we can't really afford to sign our son up for much more. I used to take my son to all kinds of free story-times and such back in the states. I haven't found that here yet, am I just not looking in the right place?
    Ha, welcome to Hong Kong and particularly,to the Southside where activities are horrendously expensive. I can't believe the prices of some of the activities and i refuse to put my children into any that ask you to pay for 3 or 4 months at a time. I only go for activities that you pay for each time you go. There are lots of people/companies trying to rip expats off and frankly I find it annoying. I took my 2 year old to Soccertots and decided against it after one 'lesson'. They did nothing I couldn't/don't already do with him. I mean, they were blowing bubbles for christ sake! They even want you to buy a uniform for $300. Too funny.

    I'm sorry I can't point you to many reasonably priced groups. I used to go to Boogy Babies (music group) in Stanley which was only $100 a time. The woman running it had a baby so not sure if it is still going. It was lots of fun and a great way to meet mums. The mums would normally have a coffee together afterwards and the kids would play. I can dig up an email address if you'd like.

    The Stanley playroom is ok. It's indoors and you generally have a mix of mums and helpers. It's also free which is great.

    Will try to think up other things to do on Southside but as others have said I really recommend you search this board for mothers groups that meet in your area.

  7. #15
    southside852 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    children's activities are quite hard on the southside for some strange reason as the southside is mostly made up of families with young children.

    like aussiegal said, the stanley playroom is great and the library has storytime, but i think only in catonese. another place is the stanley playground right next tothe bus depot. we often go to the open air markets in Cyberport and now on the Peak which is the first and 3rd of each month.

    Honestly, I think the best way for you to mom's is to start your own playgroup at Parkview - it's a huge complex and there are of course lots of families.

    When I first moved here, I had to push myself to take the initiative. We did Panda Junction in Central as well when we first moved to the southside. It's pricey, but sooo worth it. Michelle runs a fabulous program there and it's a nice mix of mostly moms and some helpers. The commute was annoying, but actually met a lot of mom's from the southside there from Stanley, Tai Tam and from Parkview. We only signed up for 2 terms and had made 2-3 friends as a result of it.

  8. #16
    Buckeroo is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Hong Kong
    the stanley playroom is great and the library has storytime, but i think only in catonese...
    Whatever happened to Chatter Books? There used to be this lady who would hold storytelling sessions for kids 3+yo at the Stanley Sports Center. She was even advertising here at Geobaby.

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