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Advice Needed - I found my MIL very annoying

  1. #25
    MLBW Guest
    Also, I think there is some merit to the saying that when other people annoy us it's often because they are like a mirror reflecting something of our own selves to us that we don't want to look at. Maybe you have more in common with your MIL than you think and that's why she bothers you so much. Just a thought--I know it works that way with me and the people who bother me most.

  2. #26
    BabyC is offline Registered User
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    i don't like my MIL because she always wants to know everything and gets involved - too many opinions and advice which i found very annoying

    after 5 days of work, all i want is to have a private life with my husband and baby

  3. #27
    AndreaY is offline Registered User
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    Then you are not really looking for advice, are you? If you want someone to just agree with you and say you are perfectly reasonable in your reaction, better if you just talk to the mirror. Sorry for sounding mean, but you should have realised by now that your "family" is not just you, hubby and baby. Your mil is your husband's family and that makes her your family now. Quit whining and deal with it.

  4. #28
    spsmok is offline Registered User
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    Hi BabyC,

    I am sorry to hear your problem. I agree with some of the replies that you should try to make it a win-win situation. Wouldn't it be good if you could go out to do something for yourself when your MIL comes over? I'm sure you will be happier when you go home just to say goodbye to her. Maybe you will find it easier to gradually spend a little more time with her.

    I was in an even more difficult situation before with my MIL. She's been living with my husband for many years after her other daughters all got married. When I got married, I had to move in with not just my husband, but also my MIL. For many years, I didn't feel I was living at home, I felt like I was living in their home.

    I remembered my SIL called one Sunday. As soon as I said hello, she said "mom." I told her I was not "mom." Then she said, "Oh you're the maid." When I told her I was not the maid, she asked me who I was. At that time, I asked myself the same question. "Who am I?"

    When I was still working before I got pregnant, everything was okay. Things went downhill after the baby was born. It got so bad that at one point I had to see a psychiatrist. I wouldn't say I hated my MIL, but I couldn't stand living with her. She's a nice person and everything, but ...

    BabyC, your MIL just won't disappear, and yes, she does have the right to see the baby too. You'd better think about all the advice posted and make yourself happy.


  5. #29
    BabyC is offline Registered User
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    Hi spsmok - sorry to hear your situation and hope you are doing fine now

    ok after listening to all the advice, i have decided to do something to ease the problem - might be i will start with going out when my MIL comes

  6. #30
    Little Monster is offline Registered User
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    BabyC, I'm wondering what exactly abt your MIL that is annoying you. Abt an hour's visit per week isn't that bad, to me. Both your MIL and your baby have the right to develop their relationship. Your baby's life isn't just mommy and daddy, he/she has grandparents too. You'll be a granny too many yrs later, and I guess you will have broken heart if your DIL won't like you to visit your grandson. I don't know why she is annoying, but I guess you just have to think positively. I have a pretty good relationship with my MIL & FIL. We always go out for lunch / dinner / invite them for dinner at our place, and I have no problem to let them stay for the nite at our place if things finish late. My baby has a greatttttttttt and loving relationship with my parents and my hubby's parents, and he is sooooooo happy to receive soooooo much love from all. Hope you won't find me annoying by saying all these gospel. hahahah

  7. #31
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    i have truly tried not to let my occasionaly annoyance with my mil affect my kids' relationships with her. and it hasn't.

    the way their faces light up and the way her face lights up when they see each other makes it worth my effort not to lose it when she drives me up the wall.

  8. #32
    rani's Avatar
    rani is offline Administrator
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    BabyC, relationships with ILs can be very stressful. Hang in there. Just a thought, as you're working why don't you let yr MIL visit with baby when you're at work.

    Then you can spend weekends alone with husband and baby.

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