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Advice Needed - I found my MIL very annoying

  1. #1
    BabyC is offline Registered User
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    Advice Needed - I found my MIL very annoying

    after my baby was borne, my MIL started to come every week to visit which i found very very very annoying - she usually stays for more than an hour each time

    i have tried very hard to like her but i just realised today that my only feeling on her is that she is very very very annoying and i just want her to leave us alone

    i know my husband is very unhappy about it and that's why i try to put on a "happy" face when my MIL visits but i just couldn't stand it anymore

  2. #2
    babymommy2 is offline Registered User
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    What is your husband unhappy about? is he unhappy with his mom coming to vusit so often/ too much unwanted advise or he is unhappy that you are annoyed?

    I'm fortunate in that I only see my MIL for 3 weeks at a time, then we go home across an ocean. it is hard to know you are being judged daily for 3 weeks straight. I dont' say anything, I just continue on with my children as I normally would, but I also know it is only three weeks so it is easier to bite my tongue.

    When I was BF in public places she didn't say anything about it but I know she would have preferred I bottle feed. I know this is not good for the baby so I BF anyways, wherever we hppened to be and she fussed with the blankets to make sure I was 100% covered at all times and piled blankets on me, shifting them around as I tried to eat.. It was annoying but I felt it was an okay middle ground. It is a pretty minor example, but I am sure if we were around each other all the time al the small things would soon meld into one big problem. Sorry I dont' have any actual advise, but looking forward to what other on hear say.

  3. #3
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    carang is offline Registered User
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    what exactly is it that you find annoying?

    i think that most women out there have some problems with their mother-in-law. i know, i have.

    mine constantly gives my children junk food to eat. it drives me crazy. in her eyes, my children can do nothing wrong. when i try to enforce our rules around her, she poo-poos them and then scolds my helper when my helper is only trying to follow my instructions.

    i have come to realise that it is only once per week and only for a short time. she is, after all, my children's grandmother and she has waited a very long time for grandkids. mine are likely the only she'll ever have, so a little bit of spoiling won't undo the 99% of the time they are with me.

    it's VERY difficult, but all i can suggest is relax.

  4. #4
    southside852 is offline Registered User
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    she's just there to help and so perhaps take advantage of that as much as possible? market shopping? run errands for you so she's out of the house, but she will feel like she's helping you.

  5. #5
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    i must say, that things go a lot more smoothly if my mil takes my kids somewhere, like yum cha, without me.

    what i don't know doesn't hurt me...

  6. #6
    chef is offline Registered User
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    why not use that time for yourself , like go for a mani pedi ,or whatever you like to do just by yourself and leave kids with her , so everyone is happy , a free babysitter!!!!

  7. #7
    BabyC is offline Registered User
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    my husband is unhappy becasue i found my MIL very annoying, he thinks I am being selfish not letting her to visit but i just don't like her and don't want to see her

    i tried to let her know i don't her coming over but don't know if she got it

  8. #8
    slamdunk is offline Registered User
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    agree with chef, turn it into a positive thing. she obviously wants to be a grandmother and it would be great for your baby to have a relationship with her.

    you are lucky to have a grandmother who is in HK (never mind one who wants to visit all the time!) and she is another person/family member who will love your baby too.

    we don't all get on with our MILs but i for one cherish the relationship my children have with their grandparents - separate from my relationship with them...

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