When is the good time to teach our baby Discipline?
- 04-16-2009, 08:18 AM #9Registered User
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
- Hong Kong
Or something which may become a bad habit later on (Like spitting out food or throwing things).
- 04-16-2009, 08:51 AM #10Banned
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Mid Levels, Hong Kong
It works with our son when he cries we also pretend to cry and then he asks us to stop and we ask him to stop it probably goes on for a few minutes and it is all forgotten. This has worked with us when he gets hurt and or when he wants something which he should not have.
- 04-16-2009, 12:55 PM #11MLBW Guest
I recommend this book:
Boundaries with Kids
So, far my husband and I have been showing consistent discipline with my son for the past 8 or so months--he is now 16-months-old and he does understand "no" and that some things are not okay to do. My son also has a fascination with cords--electric cords to be exact--and this has been a worrying situation for us so we are very strict to not let him play with them. We've found that it is useful to hide whatever dangerous or "off-limits" things or move them out of his reach--and if it happens to be something that we cannot do this with, then we make it very clear that it is not okay to play with or even touch these items. Now, all I have to do is give him "the look" and he knows that he had better not touch or do whatever thing. At 10-months you really can't "explain" anything to a child and expect a lot of understanding because they usually don't have a developed enough language base for that. Even so, I do "explain" they "whys and why nots" of things while I'm doing them and eventually, though he may not understand now and throws a fit, he will later.
First, I think you have to not be afraid of your child crying and throwing a fit. And you have to stand up to her. Don't just give in because she escalates her fit. That teaches her "If I cry long enough and hard enough, mommy will give it to me anyway--she is easily manipulated" and this will help you teach your daughter to be an expert manipulator of her parents (I have cousins who had developed a science to this when they were little so I've seen it in action!) So, if she continues to carry on when you've made your boundary clear with her, sometimes you need to step in and break the "crying cycle" (kids sometimes get so worked up that they are crying and have forgotten even why they are crying). We do this by sitting our son down and getting at eye level with him and holding him still and very calmly and directly telling him, "No" and "You are fine, there is no need to cry." Also, I've found that because I don't jump at every whimper that my son makes, he actually gives up his protests pretty quickly now. He understands that I mean what I say--even at a little age and will move on quickly to something else--even if he sheds a few tears in the process.
Unless you really make your boundaries clear from this early age and are dependable and trustworthy to back up your word (Let your "yes" be "yes" and your "no" be "no") then you effectually are creating a monster problem with discipline that you will fight your kids with until they are grown. Plus, you are just plain confusing your kids without knowing it. Just as they will grow up healthy if they can depend on you providing: a shelter, food, safety and love (and without these they cannot grow up healthy) they also will grow up healthy if they can depend on you providing: clear boundaries and discipline. It's never too early.
Last edited by rani; 04-16-2009 at 02:50 PM. Reason: link updated
- 05-15-2009, 10:54 AM #12
I am so glad I found this thread but I have an additional question - when is it time to start a naught spot or corner?
My daughter is 20 months and knows exactly what she is doing and when she is doing something wrong. When she decides to draw on books or pour water out of the bath on to the floor and stops as soon as she is 'given the look' and it is explained to her why it is wrong. She has even started saying 'sorry' which is the cutest thing in the world. She doesn't cry or throw a fit and does stop what she is doing.
The problem is when she does the same thing a couple of days later with a wry smile on her face knowling fine well she shouldn't be doing it. She has evens aid sorry before I have had a chance to say anything to her as if she can do what she wants as long as she says sorry.
I know it is probably for attention as she usually does these things when I am talking to other people or dealing with my 7 month old but I don't want to 'reward' her actions with attention even if it is negative attention but I can't just start ignoring it either.
I have considered doing the whole naughty spot or corner but am not sure if 20 months of too young or not and whether or not it would actually stop her doing things again. It may become a game to her.
I guess I don't know until I try but any other suggestions or ideas would be greatly appreciated.
- 05-15-2009, 11:38 AM #13
we started a "time-out" sitting on the bed/sofa/step when our daughter was about 22 months.
the first few times, it takes about an hour of putting her back, until she can sit there for 2 full minutes.
now, at 27 months, she doesn't move. she'll cry for the entire time, but she stays where she is and apologises when she is told she can leave.
- 05-15-2009, 12:18 PM #14Registered User
- Join Date
- Mar 2007
- Hung Hom
i started at 8 months. when she pulls the computer cord, i'd give a warning,, then pinch her hand.
she cried.. so poor thing.. but the next time,she tried to pull the cord, i 'd give a warning and she stop pulling immediately. same thing with trying to pull daddy's glasses.. she stop trying to pull daddy's glasses altogether. but sometimes she still needs warning with the cords, and she'd stop immediately.
i am hoping that she'd stop whatever she is doing with a warning.. in case, if i can't get her in time.. this could save her life.. and other risks..
i have heard that once this little boy was running to catch a ball on the street. he stopped immediately when his mum shouted. this saved his life as the car was coming. imagine what would happened if he continue to run while asking why..
- 05-15-2009, 02:40 PM #15Registered User
- Join Date
- Mar 2006
- Sai Kung
I started the naughty spot with my son at 20 months.
It took a few goes, but then he understood.
- 05-15-2009, 08:08 PM #16
Thanks so much for your words of wisdom concerning a naught corner or spot. I think this weekend might be the weekend we start. Then again, she might be the best angel in the world. Oh, wait a minute, what fantasy land am I in :0)
Hope everyone has a good weekend.
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