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How helpful is the daddy in taking care of your baby?

  1. #17
    louisouis is offline Registered User
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    Dear Hunter,

    You are not alone. My husband is very passive too. Basically whenever he reaches home he takes on a HORIZONTAL FORMAT. Which means that he basically vegetate on thye sofa watching TV. He does engage with the baby when the baby is all nice and happy but runs a mile when the baby is being stroppy or out of sorts. I understand how you feel. I also hold a full time job which is extremely demanding and of course his job is also very demanding but I am expected to know everything aboutthe baby. The worst thing is my husband likes to lisen to others and is always asking me things like why is the baby not like this or that, when he had not really participated in the actual nurturing and development of the baby. I basically think he is a 'good time' dad. Then again he is good at baby proofing the house, I presume this is his own way of engaging with the baby. As he is a very traditional local guy, I think he is very emotionally undeveloped and basically the feminist movement does not exist for him!

  2. #18
    Hunter is offline Registered User
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    Thanks a million mommies. I am surprised to have received such an overwhelming response for this topic. Really thankful for all the advice and sharings.

    it's kinda late now, will comment more tomorrow. good nite, my friends.

  3. #19
    southside852 is offline Registered User
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    have you tried family counseling Hunter?

  4. #20
    Hunter is offline Registered User
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    no. I haven't, southside 852.

    He is now supporting the family solely, and he is stressful I know that. I guess at the moment, I should not make his life more miserable.

    I just hope to get back to the workforce asap to sustain life.

    sorry to have somewhat "downgraded" this site, as all seem to be very well-off families.

  5. #21
    jane01 is offline Registered User
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    Hunter - have you discussed his participation in child raising? Can you reach an agreement between you both on what you expect vs what he is prepared to do? If men grow up without a role model showing them how involved they can and should be in their child's development, you may find that they do not participate as much as they can. It can be a learned behaviour. He will not think anything is wrong unless you discuss the matter calmly and clearly, in a positive manner.

  6. #22
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    what makes you think we are all "well off"???

    hubby and i do not badly, but we work long hours. we are just blessed to work (1) hubby works from home so is around a lot and (2) i teach playgroups so that my own kids can attend.....

  7. #23
    zac08 is offline Registered User
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    i think by 'well off families' she did not necessarily mean from a financial standpoint but rather from a situational standpoint of having a family where the husband is more involved. with people from so many language backgrounds writing on this forum i've learned to be a bit more flexible in interpreting phrases.

    anyway, Hunter, your son sounds incredibly lucky to have you for a mother and i am sure after he is a bit older your hubby will come around and naturally get more involved. a lot of men are not 'baby people' but come alive with kids when they are old enough to throw a ball around with or from their view 'more relatable' as little people. good luck and just remember how lucky your son is to have you for his mother right now.

  8. #24
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    i was interpretting it differently, as she mentions looking for a job and not being able to find one... in another thread, she mentions that she feels inadequate because she doesn't think that she can provide her son the "nice things" she wants to.

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