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Need to vent! frustrated with husband

  1. #33
    Shenzhennifer is offline Registered User
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    One of the main things that really P$%& me off is not that I don`t receive enough thanks and recognition, it`s how my husband `unintentionally` makes my job harder. Coming home and being a slob basically. Leaving his stuff lying around, not returning things to their place, just lying on his lazy bum `taking a rest` while I`m working around the house. I have tried to tell him this, but he just doesn`t seem to get it. He often does the dinner dishes, and he thinks he`s a saint, as no other man does this (he thinks).
    I`m not a cleanaholic or a neatfreak, but I like order and things neat and tidy and somewhat organized, especially in these tiny spaces. He doesn`t give a toss. And when he is working against me (intentionally or not), it makes me feel like he`s totally disrespecting what I do around here.
    Word.

  2. #34
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    what would happen if you only cleaned up after yourself and baby... when hubby finally realises what a mess the place is and remarks on it, you can just explain that you have enough to do cleaning up after the two of you. if he can't clean up after himself, then too bad.

  3. #35
    Shenzhennifer is offline Registered User
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    Then the place would look like a sty. It`s too small to do that as well. I tried it with an empty bottle and glass once, but eventually I had to remove it because the cleaning lady was coming anyway. When I mentioned it to him, he made a joke about it. The only thing I do is if his clothes are lying about, I just throw them all crumpled in his closet. I don`t think he notices:(

  4. #36
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    LOL! he will when he runs out of underwear! EWWWW! (sorry, not a laughing matter, but i couldn't help myself)

  5. #37
    spockey is offline Registered User
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    My husband and I used St. John's Counseling.
    Worked out great. I saw one separately (a female - she was GREAT!) and we saw (a male - as there was no way my husband would listen to a woman tell him how he feels about things) a different counselor together.

    We didn't realise how hard moving to a foreign country and switching roles could be on each other. We worked out that we had maybe 4 bad days and 3 ok ones - not even good! And we've... our marriage and myself has hit rock bottom before.

    Hang in there. It'll all work out in the end. Now, we almost everyday in the week is a good one. There may be moments in the day when i want to wring his neck though still. But we've learned to communicate our needs without antagonizing each other through counseling.

    It's actually brought us closer together... It's brought us almost to a level where we used to be when it was just us... even though we've not had many opportunities to go on dates. Like Frenchy - we spend at least 10 minutes a day... just us talking about our day.

  6. #38
    fingerscrossed is offline Registered User
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    After reading this thread (and many others) I've come to the conclusion that the majority of men out there:
    1. NEED television & computers
    2. Think that household chores are for 'women' only
    3. Like to criticize but don't practice what they preach
    4. Don't pick up after themselves / leave things lying around
    5. Need appreciation for doing the dishes (big deal!)

    Doesn't this all sound like the behaviour of a teenage boy? Sometimes I wonder how my husband has gotten to where he has today (career-wise) when he meets all the points in the list above. If I could turn into a fly and watch him at work, I might understand him more.

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