View Poll Results: Would you consider having surveillance camera at home?
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Would you consider having surveillance camera at home?
- 05-05-2009, 06:04 PM #17Registered User
- Join Date
- May 2006
- Hong Kong
- 05-05-2009, 07:06 PM #18Registered User
- Join Date
- Jul 2006
- Hong kong
If you "think" your helper is not doing as you want or abusing your child, you should just terminate her employment. 1) I think there is usually no smoke without fire and 2) even if there is no real fire, the trust is gone already and you need to trust her to look after your child. Installing a camera in these circumstances would just show her you do not trust her and you will still wonder what she is doing in the areas where you cannot see.
As for helpers who are abusive, I think most of the time, you can tell from the way your kids react round them (apart from newborns and very very young babies). My children loved our previous helper (fired her cos she had a physical fight with the other helper and nothing to do with the way she looked after our kids) and you could see how happy and smiley they were when they saw her.
For feeding fruit with fingers, my helpers do that at home sometimes and I think it's ok, cos I do it too as it's easier and I trust them that their hands are clean. The licking of spoons I am wary of cos they may have picked up viruses which is nothing to an adult and they may not even be aware, but may be more serious for young kids. Afterall, a lot of helpers gather en masse during sat/sun in close proximity to each other and share food, it's the easiest way to pass illness around.
- 05-05-2009, 10:14 PM #19Registered User
- Join Date
- Jan 2007
I would let my helper feed my kid the way I'd feed her myself. Meaning giving her a piece of fruit with my hands, yes; sharing a spoon, no.
I saw the horrific "helper abuses child" video. OMG, OMG, OMG. Before watching the video, I'd have said, no to installing a camera in a heartbeat. Now, I think it depends on many factors, some difficult to pin down.
Personally, I won't install a camera because I'm a stay-at-home-mom. If I can't trust my helper to baby-sit my kid for a few hours, I should look for a new helper (or baby-sitter for that matter).
- 05-05-2009, 11:13 PM #20
Thank you ladies for sharing.
I must raise that my suspicious are not of helper abusing baby. I still manage to muster up some trust and faith that she's not heavy handling or being careless with baby.
Also, every person differs, so things like lifestyle and habit preference is subjective and i don't judge any of those. Whatever we are comfortable with, hands, spoons, fork and all....
The some of the issues i have are more like:/-
- after explaining to her why i prefer baby to be place in bed and encouraged to sleep on her own but both my husband and myself catch her thrice carrying/rocking the baby to sleep when i'm very sure baby don't have the habit out of that. I'm very sure because baby sleeps with me in the night so that my helper can have ample rest. And since she started this carrying baby to sleep, my baby now wakes up twice in the night not to feed but to be carried!...
This, i don't want to over-react and i could live with reminding her over and over until she gets what i wanted to achieve in the end.
- Another mystery is: i've taught her what are the things i would like baby to be fed but i realized that these 3 days of out handling house moving stuff, baby's food ingredients didn't move much but her formula and rice cereal did. This is the one thing i'm suspicious. Did she do up the meals the way i wanted it or she kept things easy?
I did ask her, she told me she did but she adds very little meat and vegetable as baby didn't like. I explained to her that is not a good thing as baby needs her share of nutrition irregardless she likes it or not. Baby only decide how quantity much she wants to eat but i decide what she eats.
This, as much as i tried to reason out in my mind, i'm still suspicious. Whatever it is, i'm re-planning my trips out in-between her feeds for now.cheers,
- 05-05-2009, 11:35 PM #21
Apart from her stepping over the line with her own parenting preference, both my husband and i are generally happy with her and her work. She's only with us for 7 months, i guess these helper-employer relationship takes time to build...
As long as i don't find evidences of baby's welfare being slacked upon, i won't be that quick in firing her.cheers,
- 05-05-2009, 11:46 PM #22Registered User
- Join Date
- Apr 2006
i agree that if you need cameras to 'spy' on your helper at home (whether with her knowledge or not) then you need a new helper. there would definitely be an erosion of trust and any 'bad' helper would always work around the surveillance to do what they want to do anyway. for a good helper, it's not a simple case of 'well there's nothing to worry about then" because there could be resentment on the loss of privacy doing their job...
- 05-06-2009, 12:32 AM #23Registered User
- Join Date
- Jan 2009
- Hong Kong South
Definitely a big yes to this subject.
Personally I can't convince myself to have an un-educated stranger (most of the case) from a developing country to raise my little one with no supervision from a family member. Yes, some may have a loving heart, but the cultural difference and the way of life difference may end up in a big clash. Sharing the same spoon and plate, and feeding with their hands may not be a big issue for them as for Indonesians they do eat with their bare hands, but for us, GROSS!!! I will never allow things of similar nature happen.
I will for sure install cameras in my home if I decide to go back to work again. I really can't trust a stranger 100% especially with my little one alone with her. You never know what they will do to your precious prince / princess at your back. Recently read an article about the common witchcrafts DHs will do to their employers just to make the employers like them or listen to them or not to give them a hard time. Gosh, very gross and scary. I will tell her in advance just to be fair to her and will simply tell her that I miss my baby so much that I want to see him any time I want to. So, with knowing that she is anytime being monitored, she will not dare not to follow our way of doing the work.
by the way, I will not install camera in her toilet and her room.
- 05-06-2009, 12:55 AM #24Registered User
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
I have never had a helper and I don't think I would ever want one. I have used day homes in the past, similar in that it si one person looking after a child in their home, so no other adults around, unlike daycare where there are lots of people. I was not comfortable with it, hence now am a stay at home mom. We had a situation where the woman seemed great, caring, no major problems, but our child fell down the stairs. We only knew of it because my husband was arriving when it happened, and luckliy it was only 4 stairs, so not hurt. The woman did not inform her agency, or fill out any of tthe paperwork she should have, and wasn't willing to change gates. We left. I also agree that peopel tend to parent your child the way they would prefer when youa re not around. My babies never took bottles or sippy cups, only drank out of a regular cup. This same woman repeatedly tried to get my son to drink out of a sippy cup, even though I told her he never would, and she never did get him too, but she should have trusted I knew what I was talking about. I think getting a camera is a good idea, even if you toitally trust your dh. The thing I missed the most when I worked, was the tiny little things that you miss out on, what they say, what they do, cute things that happen. With a camera you could see some of that.
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