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Frustrated with the helper

  1. #1
    sandy0741 is offline Registered User
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    Frustrated with the helper

    HI everyone,

    Just want to type here to ease my frustration of my helper. She has been with us for 6 months, but for these six months period, we all get just so fed up with her, everytime, I have to explain things over and over again to her, but it just seems that she listens and then do what she thinks is the best, when she is told that this is not how the work should be done, she just seems not to care.
    What makes me more angry yesterday was when she was ironing clothes at night, my 2 year old son was playing around in the living room and I have asked her to stop ironing and look at him for a while when I am in the bathroom, she just say "yes' and then accident happened, my son went into her room and touched the iron, when at the same time , she was there. He has got three of his finger tips burnt and he didn't stop crying for a long time. I know how painful it should be. When asked her what she was doing , she said she left the iron on the iron board and went to hang the clothes, that made me extremely angry with her, she just doesn't care about anything, and I talked very seriously with her, what she said then 'was she didn't do this on purpose" I know she didn't do on purpose, but she can prevented it from happening if she had listened to
    me.

    anyway, I am already looking for another one and wanted to get rid of her as soon as possible.

  2. #2
    HK2008 is offline Registered User
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    Hi Sandy,
    I think you should look for another helper immediately. Looks like your helper lacks of common sense to an extreme, especially lacking the sense of safety measures. This could be potentially fatal. Just venting your frustration here is not enough. DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT IMMEDIATELY.

    My God, I don't ever resort to describing someone as st*pid. But sorry to say, I think I've just found one in your helper.
    Last edited by HK2008; 05-25-2009 at 09:24 AM. Reason: good on you! I see you've already started looking...

  3. #3
    sandy0741 is offline Registered User
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    Yes, and I have sent my son to my mother and already called several agents to see if they can send me one temporary. And you are perfectly right, She is really stupid, a person who really has no sense at all. But what makes me more angry is when she has hurt my son, she doesn't feel an ounce of worried or upset of what she has done. I have never seen any person who has no sense of guilty about their wrongdoings. What these helpers are really thinking?

  4. #4
    HK2008 is offline Registered User
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    I cannot say that your helper is cold-hearted etc because I don't know her that much. But judged by what happened and what she said to you afterwards without showing any sign of remorse, I dare say at least she doesn't care much for your son. To me I view a helper's being caring to the kids as far more important than being an expert in doing household chores or a great cook(of course it'd be a huge bonus if she happens to possess both as well)...

  5. #5
    Hunter is offline Registered User
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    get rid of her! You have given her good enough time for the training. She is supposed to make your life easier, not harder. but I am not surprised to hear things like this with DHs, I had terrible experience with my inlaw's Indonesian DHs too. They are just working without bringing back their brains. erhhhh!!

  6. #6
    W2BMOM is offline Registered User
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    Sounds eerily familiar with the Indonesian helper we got rid of about 6 months ago. Once I left my son in her care, heard him crying, and when I went to check on him, the curtain line was around his neck. Be careful if u decide to terminate her employment though. Ours made such a big fuss, by going to some kind of union and even took us to court although we settled all termination requirements (1 mths pay, air ticket and other misc payments) with agent's witnessing. She even signed the proof of receipt but labour dept couldn't do anything about this. We were also unfortunate to end up with such an irresponsible agent. Took us few months to finally settle the matter and we ended up paying her AGAIN due to the expiry of the air ticket we bought her earlier.

    That really taught us a big lesson not to mention giving me the phobia of hiring another helper again for a few months after! We now have a Filipina helper whom I think is much better (she's only been here for less than a month), and hopefully will remain that way.

    Good luck to you!

  7. #7
    sandy0741 is offline Registered User
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    Yeah, you're absolutely right, terminating her is another thing I have to worry about, last month she has made me so angry that I told her to pack up her things and go, and she immediately started crying loudly begging for chances and saying she doesn't want to leave. Later, I asked her to calm down and take a rest in her room, when she came out I found her having noticeable marks on her face. I immediately told the agent and she told me not to tell her you are firing her but to bring her to the agent once you got a new helper. But now for what this Indonesian helper has done to my son, I am not going to wait anymore.
    After having employed 2 indonesian helpers, I am now thinking of changing to a Filipina.

  8. #8
    W2BMOM is offline Registered User
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    I knew I shdn't be telling her of my intention to fire her but she had been doing things that really triggered me off. I think someone might have taught her to behaved the way she did. I have spoken to her firmly and calmly regarding her behaviour and told her I expected some improvements which of course fell on deaf ears. One time, it got so bad, I just said in anguish she really had to pack her bags and was shocked to hear her mumbling the word "yes". That was when I decided to send her off the next day. Well, she packed up without being told that early morning as though she had expected that to happen according to her well laid plan.

    It's so sad coz' I've been treating her so well all along. She showers twice a day, whereas I only managed once (who's the boss I wonder?), always have her tea time (even when we're out, she without hesistance will pick her choice of drink or food), bringing her to Indon grocery to pick whatever food she likes thinking she might be homesick, once she was sick, I made her porridge, which resulted in my son falling off his toy car, hitting his head on the cupboard and ended with a large bump on his head and she complained that the porridge is tasteless (she slept 2 days without having to work of course), I do the marketing (worrying she wouldn't be able to cope with language in the market, leaving her playing with my son (with air cond in full blast) while I toiled and sweat with the marketing trolley and the list goes on. And I thought they say if you treat them like family they will be grateful. It was hell for me ... I felt I was more of the maid myself!

    But I'm glad that's all over now but that has not deter me fr treating my current helper well but with the hope that she will be grateful for it. Pls be careful and don't end up like me!

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