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Does your helper stay out late?

  1. #17
    Bumps Guest

    Wanfamily, I did not accuse, I asked. There was a question mark there. Again, my retorts lie in the fact that I did not gel with the language and content used. Perception is reality.

  2. #18
    wanfamily is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2008

    Ha ha - easy to miss stuff when you are skim reading enroute to the nappy drawer. 'Nuff said - signing off now lest hackles be raised.

  3. #19
    Bumps Guest

    Mmm whatever.

  4. #20
    geomum is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Hong Kong

    I know a chinese family who haven't given a single day off to their helper in the last 10 months since they have hired her. Not even sundays !!! I am sure the helper knows what the rules are since she has worked in HK for many years for a previous employer. So it seems she is happy to work like a slave. I asked her employer why she doesn't get a day off and the reply was that the agency would have told them if there was any such rule as a statutory day off. I am sure the employer knows there is such a rule (Everyone does) but prefer her not going out and instead work for them on Sundays while they sit and watch TV.
    Wanfamily you are not being unfair AT ALL!!!

    Last edited by geomum; 06-29-2009 at 03:49 PM.

  5. #21
    Bumps Guest


    " So it seems she is happy to work like a slave"

    She is probably not happy at all. More likely so scared that she can not get another job as she has a family in her home country that she needs to look after. As a result of her stress, her work suffers, her mental health suffers, the children she is caring for may suffer... I am sure that the employer would know the rules about employee staff and they should. Some people don't see the connection between a content employee and a job well done.

    Last edited by Bumps; 06-29-2009 at 03:57 PM.

  6. #22
    Lucylou is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2008

    My helper has no curfew on her days off and as far as I am concerned, she can do what she likes on her days/time off. It allows her the freedom of meeting other people and leading some sort of a normal life. I get so angry when I see helpers working a 7 day week or not getting Public Holidays off. We get to go out in the evenings for dinner/cinema trips so why should we treat them any different? A couple of times my Helper has told me in advance that she will be staying out and I am fine with that.

    As far as I can see, giving my helper some freedom on her days off allows for her doing a better job in the long run as she appreciates us more and she is not imprisoned 24/7 in the confines of our apartment - if's healthy.

  7. #23
    HappyV is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2005

    Bumps - where have you been all my life??

    I think there are three things to keep in mind here:
    1. The helper/employer relationship is inherently intimate - you have to share living space. If you, as an employer, expect your helper to live with you, then you have to accept that it is no longer just your living space, it is their living space, too. (ie. if your husband is disturbed by the front door opening, tell him to use earplugs. How on earth did he cope when chilren cried during the night?)
    2. Everyonbe needs time off tp recharge their batteries. For me, the ideal way to recharge is a pack of Tim Tams, a block of chocolate and an old move. Other like to dance it out, and others (God forbid) like to talk to men. Perhaps yuor helper even has a boyfriend - so what? It's their business. Are you going to try and dictate the social mores of everyone who comes into contact with your kids?
    3. Having said that, if you feel that the helper's work is suffering, then by all means you have the right to request an improvement. But I am not sure that it should be up to an employer to dictate where/how they spend their off time. Helpers may not be as wordly wise as some of the women in here, but most if them work very hard to support their families, and are making a sacrifice we couldn't dream of. As has been mentioned, many are well educated (ie. speak English better than their employers - ) and just becasue someone isn;t from a big international city doesn not mean they do not understand the intricacies of life. You get low life in small country towns, just as you get narrow minded, provincial people in the big ones.....

  8. #24
    LeahH is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Hong Kong, Mid Levels

    I couldn't agree with Happy V's point 3 more - the ONLY reason for prescribing what a helper does on her own time is if it negatively effects her work.

    That said, I have both gone into work and looked after my kids with a raging hangover. Neither situation is pleasant, but it happens on occasion and the sky doesn't fall in.

    Personally, I don't think 10pm on a weeknight is late at all.
    Midnight on the weekend is pretty reasonable also.

    The helpers in our building meet up in the common areas and sit chatting and laughing til around midnight on Sunday's, sometimes during the week also.

    Even if they were dancing WITH MEN in Wanchai I wouldn't consider it to be any of my business (unless of course it was 'business'...).

    In any other country that would be wholly normal behavior for a single woman in her 20s/30s.

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