Forums  •  Classifieds  •  Events  •  Directory

 
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

How to create a happy employer and helper relationship

  1. #1
    sorchului is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Hong Kong
    Posts
    67

    How to create a happy employer and helper relationship

    Having read some of the recent news and threads about helpers (mobile phones, going out late, murder the employer..) which sound quite negative, I think it's time to post a positive thread.

    What makes a happy helper or how to create a healthy relationship?

    Here are some of my ideas:
    1. Be respectful and polite. Say please, thank you, good morning....afterall we are all human beings.
    2. Do not impose unreasonalble rules such as banning mobile phones.
    3. No shouting or scolding. If they have done something wrong, just explain what they have done wrong and how to do it right.
    4. Speak positively. It's better to say "it would be better to...'' or ''Please....'' rather than ''Do not.......'' For example: ''Please separate the black and white laundry otherwise the whites will be stained''; not ''Do not put the black and white laundry together, otherwise you will ruin my clothes.''
    5. Show your appreciation and give rewards sometimes such as a bar of chocolate.

    Looking forward to your ideas!

  2. #2
    dimsum mum is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Pokfulam Hong Kong
    Posts
    228

    "staff" meetings

    we have regular staff meetings with our helper where we discuss what is working, what isn't, what needs to be tweaked, how the system can work better. she understands it isn't a time where we ream her out, but an opportunity for us all to think together and combine ideas.

    at each meeting we will discuss what isn't working, or areas that need to be improved, both from her perspective and ours. i find this helps with communication around the flat.

  3. #3
    HappyV is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    DB
    Posts
    365
    Stress if the big killer - from both sides. If a helper is stressed then they cannot work so effectively. If an employer is stressed, they may take it out on the helper.

    It is my job to make my helper's job less stressful, so that she can do her job well, and hence make my job less stressful etc etc. It's a circular relationship.

    There have been times when I have had to ask my helper to do something differently, or to change the schedule - we just talk thorugh the reasons behind it. She makes suggestions too, which is great. I understand that some helpers (like many people) may have trouble thinking independently, but if they work in a culture where everything is decided for them (how to clean/where to clean/how often to clean etc) then you can't expect both complete obedience and independent thought (Same problem with the local school system here, but that's another thread.....)......

  4. #4
    Bumps Guest
    Just put yourself in their shoes. Be empathetic and don't let bad experiences cloud your judgement/perception.

    Don't micro-manage - allow them to be independent, don't treat them or their role as subservient, let them know that you value them and their contribution to the household, ask for their opinions, never go to them with a problem but with a solution, show them how to do the task - don't just tell them.

    Give them time to develop their skills, pay for them to attend courses such as CPR - or cooking classes, show interest in their interests. If you have a helper who loves to cook - buy her a new cookbook now and then.

    Take her out for a coffee and a cupcake once in a while just for a chat.

    Most importantly - treat them with respect, respect their privacy, respect their culture, respect the fact that they may have a family too that they need to support.

    In reference to aussiegirl's comment: talk about the pot calling the kettle black. And your comment about 'who cares in the end' well, I do.
    Last edited by Bumps; 06-30-2009 at 03:12 PM.

  5. #5
    aussiegal is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Southside
    Posts
    660
    Quote Originally Posted by Bumps View Post

    In reference to aussiegirl's comment: talk about the pot calling the kettle black. And your comment about 'who cares in the end' well, I do.
    i was refering to me not caring in the end what you think. That you made such black and white, nasty criticisms in the other thread tell me all I need to know about you.
    Last edited by aussiegal; 06-30-2009 at 03:41 PM.

  6. #6
    Bumps Guest
    Likewise. Your arrogance and sarcastic undertone is MOST impressive. Guess I won't see you at the march tomorrow with your helper? ....

    "And to stir the pot, we have two ex-helpers in our building who have 'replaced' the originals. Hopefully when your husbands are out bar hopping (or working late i think they call it) they won't be hooking up with HappyV or Bump's helpers and planning ways to leave...

    I'm being extreme only to counteract some of the stupid comments here."

  7. #7
    aussiegal is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Southside
    Posts
    660
    I bow to your goodness. No, I won't be at the march. Am I going to hell because of it?

    For the record we have as good a relationship with our helper as I believe possible given that at the end of the day she is still my employee and I am not looking for a friend or to increase the family size. We look after her, we like her, we have brought her sisters out and found them jobs, we give her extra time off, extra long holidays back home and we pay her well above average. We don't get her to do things we wouldn't do ourselves. This said we have struggled through two previous, useless helpers to get to her and I can completely understand it when other people are looking for help in working through issues with their own helpers.

    My sarcastic tone was meant to counteract your judgemental, holier than though tone. Perhaps when you re-read your words a few months for now you'll get some perspective.

  8. #8
    Bumps Guest
    Again, your sarcastic undertone is to be complemented...
    I am glad that you think you have such a great relationship with you domestic employee.
    I have re-read my words and your words... and I do have a lot of perspective, especially about the words that you have written.

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. helper looking for a new employer
    By mushi in forum Helper Forums
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 10-03-2009, 10:37 AM
  2. employer who needs live-out helper
    By yanne in forum Helper Forums
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 09-04-2009, 01:25 AM
  3. First time helper employer, need help.
    By lingpeanut in forum Helper Forums
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 06-26-2005, 12:39 AM

Tags for this Thread

Scroll to top