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  1. #25
    aussie mum is offline Registered User
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    good point thanka2

    for me it was something that happened naturally during the pregnancy and led me to want to a homebirth

    unfortunately for a lot of women pregnancy is a time of fear - especially where horror stories are handed down by family and friends. This can really take over and be a major block despite education, relaxation tips etc

    I had always had a positive view of labour and childbirth thanks to my mother and i think that was a big part in helping prepare for the birth of my children

    Every pregnant woman should read Childbirth Without Fear by Grant Dick-Read

    the link belows talks a bit about it. its good stuff!
    Childbirth without Fear | Articles | Pregnancy Today

  2. #26
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    carang is offline Registered User
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    i really admire you ladies who are able to look back at your pregnancies with fondness. my two were so terrible, that i have very few good memories from those times.

    the first delivery was a nightmare from begining to end (an emergency c-section).

    the second delivery was not too bad as i was under generaly anesthesia, and completely out for 2-3 hours...

    i do sometimes think that like when people get married, there can be too much focus on the "wedding" and not the marriage. often there is so much focus on the delivery that not everyone remembers the big picture...the safe arrival of your beautiful baby. to me, that was what mattered, not whether or not i had an epi, a natural, no drugs, a c-section or whatever.

    (this is NOT directed at anyone here... it's just a musing)
    Last edited by carang; 07-02-2009 at 09:48 PM.

  3. #27
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
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    I've never read any of Grant Dick-Read's books but he is quoted heavily in the first part of Husband-Coached Childbirth by Dr. Bradley.

    I think when it came to childbirth I didn't know what to really expect. My mom never told me any horror stories. I did have one random lady walk up to me when I was like 36 weeks pregnant and say, "I don't mean to scare you but so-and-so gave birth to a stillborn." I just told her directly that that bit of information had no bearing on me.

    My husband and I just spent a lot of time thinking through what childbirth is--the different aspects of it--the realities of it--what a woman's body can do--looking at the incredible adaptation womens' bodies are capable of going through--watching videos of vaginal and c-section births--just mentally preparing ourselves as much as we could and physically preparing ourselves as well. In hindsight, I really wish we had spent more time doing as my professor talked about, preparing spiritually--what type of environment did we want for the birth--what did the birth mean to us--how would we celebrate--all of that blew by the wayside. There's been quite a bit written lately about these aspects as well--that is the one aspect I would have focused more on--it's actually the aspect that has the potential to really calm and reassure.

    Going through the training with Husband-Coached Childbirth was invaluable and the couple that trained us were always very positive but at the same time very grounded and realistic.

    That didn't equal a pain-free, perfect childbirth where angels are playing on harps in the background but it helped a lot.

  4. #28
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
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    carang,
    I'm really sorry that you had horrible pregnancies. I really don't think it's fair when it comes to pregnancy--and I tell my friends this all the time. I have friends who never got morning sickness, didn't gain much weight, never had a stretch mark, gave birth in under five hours, had a baby who slept at night from birth and who lost all of their pregnancy weight within two months. Then I have a friend who threw up for the first six months of her pregnancy--everything, all day long, until the doctors finally put her on a very expensive vitamin/medication (each pill is like $15 USD or something--thankfully their insurance covered it) and who just had a hell of a time the whole way. I think I probably fall somewhere in between these two extremes. But, I definitely don't want to paint my pregnancy/motherhood picture rosier than it has been because it's been really hard.
    Not all of my pregnancy was looked on with fondness. Most of it wasn't. I was not happy to be pregnant as it was unplanned and after the baby was born I went through a lot physically and mentally for about the first 6-8 months, after 12 months is when I finally started to really like my own baby. The last three months of pregnancy were horribly rough--I didn't sleep a single full night the entire time. The bright spots were our birth coaches who gave a peaceful and practical guide to us, my husband who was always on my side even when we went through hell together and my mom who just tirelessly served and helped us. I am just glad I read the book I read early on because it gave me a focus for how I wanted things to go--at least a light at the end of the tunnel to steer toward--even if in the ended, I was off by a mile.

  5. #29
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    carang is offline Registered User
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    your pregnancy sounds a dream compared to mine!

    first one: lost over 20lbs in the first 3-4 months, morning sickness stopped me eating for most of that time, hospitalised 5 times, VERY high blood pressure, migraine headache that lasted for the last 6 weeks of pregnancy. don't even get me started on my emergency c-section where the epidural didn't work properly and i was in agony, out-screaming the ladies down the hall doing it natually!(delivered 3 weeks early)

    second one: morning sickness back, but only lost 15 lbs, excruciating hip pain, in a wheelchair for 4 months, hospitalised 8 times, thyroid problems, blood pressure through the roof, maxed out on meds (delivered 1 month early)

    and guess what!?!?! i would kill to be able to do it all one last time... hubby doesn't think he can handle another pregnancy, though.... guess i wasn't much fun to be around! LOL!

    i guess because of my experience, i look very skeptically on "doing it on my own"... i'll never have that option, so i never really thought about it....

  6. #30
    Shenzhennifer is offline Registered User
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    Carang, you felt your c-section in action? OMG, I can`t believe that!!!! Agh, I would die! My epidurals weren`t working so well and the first 3 times they pricked me, i was like YES I FEEL THAT!!!!! just terrified of them cutting into me too soon. I can`t believe that happened to you. Even with an epi it was still an uncomfortable and gross experience, all that tugging and stretching, and then the sewing up part. All for a momentary glimpse of this tiny red wild eyed little monster...:)

  7. #31
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    carang is offline Registered User
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    i didn't feel the actual incision, i just felt them poking around. but when he said, "ok, now you'll feel a little pressure, tugging..." i almost hit the roof!

    the only description i can come up with is this:

    it felt like they were taking my belly button and trying to touch the 30 foot ceiling with it.

  8. #32
    prone_to_wander is offline Registered User
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    Oh Carang! that sounds so horrible!

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