Wow! I'm pretty amazed about this!
- 07-01-2009, 11:22 PM #17Registered User
- Join Date
- Apr 2006
- Location
- Hong Kong
- Posts
- 32
I am just happy to see my baby being happy. I never really expected or wanted my child to be too smart. As long as she is happy, healthy and doing decent in school. I think that's all I am asking for.
- 07-01-2009, 11:23 PM #18Registered User
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
- Location
- HK
- Posts
- 154
thanka2, what your child has achieved so far is amazing...My kids on the other hand, are quite different. My first born didn't stand up and certainly no way was able to walk until 18 months old; my second child is learning walking right now---he's 19 months old! And just the other day he finally started SITTING UP by himself...I always say he's a lazy boy, lol...
But I'm not stressed about it at all. Just as Cara mentioned, I know that kids develop at different paces. I did take my first born to see all sorts of specialists when everybody was telling me there must be something wrong with her(not being able to stand up by 18 months, scary really). But since she's now walking and running around with no problem at all, I'm being very patient with my second...
Hope this might help ease some of the 'anxiety' that some parents might be having...
- 07-02-2009, 12:18 AM #19Registered User
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Location
- HK
- Posts
- 1,623
Wouldn't say I'm really disagreeing with you. The example I gave wasn't a very good one. What I meant is that, if you do have tests done and they do show accurately what's going on with your child, that knowledge, whether it reveals a good or not-so-good situation, can be powerful and important and well, empowering.
Of course, the generation I grew up in was really the first generation where education became child-centered and just an overall shift in the value of children took place. So, the Baby Boomers, many after growing up in homes where children were meant to be "seen and not heard" (this was a common phrase my grandparents used with my mom and her siblings), decided that their children were going to grow up with a good does of self-esteem. Self-esteem really was the buzz word of my generation. At school there were all these self-esteem boosting programs. And, well, the saying "too much of a good thing" (or in this case, a good thing, not presented in the best way) can have consequences too. So, in turn there has been a huge increase in narcissism in my generation. People my age can tend to have thin skins when it comes to criticism and expect to walk into any job and be hired just because "hey, I'm me and I'm wonderful" because for all of their educational life they were fed these praise statements. And then when we get let down, we really can't understand why. Of course, so much of this is just ingrained so that it's on an unconscious level.
So, the order of events nowadays is to correct the missteps of the educators who really pioneered the value of of children movement (it probably has a more accurate name to define that period of time). And part of that is getting away from giving out sweeping and unclear rewarding statements like, "You're awesome" but instead give direct assessment "I really liked the way you played in the game." It all makes a lot of sense.
Still, at the end of the day, if your child scores highly on educational assessments and shows all the signs of being ahead, not only academically (verbally, in maths etc.) but also socially (being able to share when most of his/her peers are going through the "stingy" phase) then most parents would say to themselves (although, maybe not to others) "My child is ahead." And in the past, the term (which, apparently must be not politically correct anymore) for a child who was ahead developmentally was "gifted." Maybe there needs to be a new term coined.
- 07-02-2009, 12:54 AM #20Registered User
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Location
- HK
- Posts
- 1,623
Thanks for suggesting that book. I think my parents must have been doing something differently because they never labeled us or assigned us roles (i.e. "you're the oldest so look after your younger siblings", "she's the baby of the family", "he's the little troublemaker"). Maybe that's why as siblings we get along so well. Interesting. Maybe I'll pick it up for a read (after I finish the 5-6 books I'm reading this summer). As I said, though, we're a one-child family so sibling rivalry won't be an issue we'll be dealing with.
Similar Threads
-
Pretty jewelries and intimates in HK
By itemstrader in forum Everything ElseReplies: 2Last Post: 11-27-2006, 07:09 PM