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2-year old tantrums - advice needed

  1. #1
    premama is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2007

    2-year old tantrums - advice needed


    I would like some advice from mums who have experienced this in the past - I just had a shocking experience where my 2-year old had a temper tantrum in public. My daughter is usually very good but today when she realised she could not have her milk (we had unfortunately forgotton the bottle), she went into a crying fit and would simply not stop crying. When I tried to hold her, she tried to push/kick/arch her back and there was nothing I could do to appease her. Finally when we got the bottle, she was too upset/angry to drink the milk. She eventually calmed down (after about 45 mins) but I felt so helpless and completely exhausted.

    We are travelling at the moment and I am wondering if it's the change of scene which is affecting her, or if it's just her age (she's just turned 2).

    What am I supposed to do in such circumstances? She would not listen to me at all - it was almost as though she wasn't herself. Should I simply ignore her but then I'm afraid she'll hurt herself (kicking and screaming on the pavement).

    I feel like I must be doing something wrong - any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

  2. #2
    Frenchy is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Ap Lei Chau
    Kids often have an opposition phase... and tantrums are part of it ! I'm experiencing it with my 19 months old son and he has made a beautiful tantrum this morning because he couldn't get my mobile phone, and it lasted for 30 mn, crying and shouting and kicking !!
    I just left him alone and waited for him to calm down, but for sure he didn't get what he wanted !!
    If you can, try to get her attention to something else, like... look at the window ! (then you have 5 more seconds to find an idea ;)).
    At this age, they often have no other way to express themselves and don't know yet how to deal with their emotions... In any case, once it's finished, just make her a big cuddle so she knows that you still love her after this.
    And good luck ! :)

  3. #3
    aussie mum is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    my 3 year old is going through an 'opposition phase' right now that makes all previous phases seem altogether pleasant.
    'i dont want to' is his catch phrase even when he DOES want to. he's driving me bananas!!
    so any tips for 3yr old stubborness also greatly appreciated :o)

  4. #4
    wwong68 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Hong Kong
    Apart from the tantrum, just wondering have you considered giving cow's milk to your kid? I started to give my daugther cow's milk when she turns 2. She is fine and one of the reason why I switched from formula to cow's milk is because it's more convenience. And if you are in the States, the doc basically tell the moms to switch to cow's milk from 1 years old.

  5. #5
    sherwes is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    I know how you feel. My son is 19 months and is also going through the "opposition Phase" (also known as the "total pain in the butt 5% of the time phase"). According to the books I have read the best way to deal with a tantrum is to try the distraction technique first (as mentioned by Frenchy) and then, if that doesn't work, to totally ignore it - if you take away the audience the tantrum stops. However, this is easier said than done. I ignored the tantrum for 30 minutes a few weeks ago and it certainly didn't abate. In fact, it just seemed to escalate until I finally managed to distract him.
    I guess we are all learning here. Hopefully some more experienced mums have some more advice!!

  6. #6
    pixelelf is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2008
    this is so apt. i have been trying to deal with my 16 month old son's tantrums as well. i have tried distracting, scolding, giving in even! and something worked for us this evening.

    he went down for his usual at the playground. all was fine and good till threw a huge fit when another boy refused to lend him his toy. i removed him calmly from the situation, with him kicking and screaming and crying. went to a corner and told him firmly that if he does not stop screaming and crying, we are going home. at some point some of our neighbours walked passed and i waved to them goodbye. i think that helped greatly because he stopped crying, screaming and kicking. in a few minutes he calmed down and i explained to him that he cannot demand things from other people, and if they say no it means no. i asked him,
    "can you scream and shout and kick like this again?"
    he replied, "no." i gave him a hug and let him down and he went trooping off happily back to his friends.

    i dunno if this will work again but i can sense that we both came out of this "unhurt".

    in terms of melting down for milk, i am not sure if this works though. i mean, if the child is desperate for milk, she is desperate. i say this with my son's temperament in mind. he's still breastfed and no cows milk or anything else will console him when he needs his alone milk time. that said, i try to keep a stash of biscuits and fruit when we are out to help stave off the "hunger".

    that's so far my experiences, good luck!

  7. #7
    NNN is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    HK Island
    It's good to know that I'm not alone. My 18 month old son threw the most almighty tantrum this afternoon, two hours solid of the most earsplitting howling and thrashing about. I tried everything... in the end I made sure that he was safe and ignored him, felt like a heartless cow but in the end he did calm down.

    How did it start? I had the audacity to keep him out of the kitchen whilst I was cleaning the floor with boiling water and disinfectant. Hey ho!


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