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Missed miscarriage

  1. #1
    etnea is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Cheung Chau

    Missed miscarriage

    Only my second post here, my first was to say I was pregnant, and now, well I was diagnosed with a missed miscarriage last week and had the surgery on wednesday. I reacted strangely to it - was unnaturally upbeat and positive about the whole experience (far more so than I am in the general course of life in fact) until sunday night, when I started feeling suicidal. My husband and best friend talked me out of doing anything but I still feel dreadful. Even though i have promised not to do anything about my feelings it's like I'm not connected to the world at all, like I'm floating. I don't even feel sadness, just like I'm totally useless. I've had quite a difficult year anyway, and this feels like the final straw, like I can't even do something as natural as have a baby. The reason I am writing this is that I have agreed that it may be a good idea to see a psychiatrist about this (I have also beem trying to dael with the suicide of a friend a while back and think I really need professional help, and anyway it's not fair on my husband to have to deal with this all as clearly he is grieving himself). Can anyone recommend someone for me to contact?
    Sorry about this sad and downbeat post, I'm just at a loss as to where to turn, I've only been in HK a coupl of years and don't really know my way around the medical profession.
    I'm just off to the hospital now for a check up, but to be honest, even though they're very profesional, they're also terribly busy and I doubt that they'll have the time to deal with this.
    Thanks in advance

  2. #2
    Matty is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Sai Kung
    Hi Etnea,

    You are not totally useless. 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage.
    I've had one, and just about every 2nd woman I know has had one too.
    I know that floating feeling very well. Don't let this fester without talking to someone, there are people out there that will help you.
    If you want to chat feel free to PM me.

    Contact Dr Susan Mistler, she is a psychologist at the Central Health Medical practice.
    Ph: 2824 0822

  3. #3
    HK2008 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Thanks for the statistics Matty. I don't know about that, but truth is, my best friend in China just got a miscarriage last week; my best friend in Australia had a miscarriage a few months ago and my cousin had one three months ago...I don't have to go on any further as there are many more that I know of who had suffered this...

    I'm sure there are lots of moms here who will offer you great advice. I can only say that I know how it feels, but it's very crucial for you and your hubby to move on from this as fast as possible. Get your body back in shape(in terms of health) and start trying again. Keep dwelling on the past is useless...If one hope is lost, there are many many more ahead of you...Good luck!

  4. #4
    Shenzhennifer is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Tsuen Wan
    I had a missed miscarriage and D&C 3 months before I conceived my son(now 6 months). I was utterly and completely devastated and I was even terrified of trying again in case it happened. I also felt useless, like I couldn`t even keep a baby inside me. Unexpectedly, I got pregnant my 2nd cycle (and spent pretty much the whole pregnancy worried about this or that), and now I have a wonderful little boy.
    I know what you`re going through. It`s good that you`re trying to seek help - that is the wisest thing for you, other than surrounding yourself with loved ones and things you like. For me, and this might sound lame, but I watched endless episodes of The Gilmour Girls - that was my feel-good show to get away.
    Take care of yourself, your health first and then the rest will follow. Also feel free to PM me if you need anything or just to chat.

  5. #5
    Bumps Guest
    Hi Etnea

    I am sorry to hear what has happened and how you are feeling. You are doing a very positive thing by seeking help.

    Please call this number if you need urgent care:

    The Samaritans 24 Hour Multi Lingual Suicide Prevention Services:

    2896 0000.

    I have also seen Dr Susan Mistler and she is very good.

    Here is the website where she works. There are a few other mental health professionals there too.

    Central Health

    Central Health

    My psychiatrist in TST is Dr Fong Yat Yuk Samson
    ph: 2311 8118 - Also very good. Room 1713 HK Pacific Centre 28 Hankow Rd.

    Remember to eat well and rest well. If you have any plans to hurt yourself tell someone. People are there to help you. Please let them.

    Take care. PM me if you want to know anymore or just for a chat.

  6. #6
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Sai Kung
    having a miscarriage has nothing to do with you as a person. there may have been something terribly wrong with the embryo and it was nature's way of making you able to carry a healthier child.

    i know that doesnt' do anything to ease your feelings. but if you have been trying to deal with the suicide of your friend, then you know how terribly suicide affects those left behind.

    please talk to someone ASAP about it. you need to find better ways to deal with your feelings and there are people out there that are trained to help you do just that.

    i wish you health and healing.

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