Does your baby cling to you a lot?
- 07-17-2009, 09:11 PM #17Registered User
- Join Date
- Jun 2007
- Hong Kong
my son will be 2.5 next month. He was all ok with Daddy or even grandparents if they are here but when he turned like slightly over one, he started to cling to me like a litch and like some of your kids, i can't even go to toilet or eat a peaceful meal if i leave him with his dad (no helper). However, i still let him cry with his dad and i told him mommy is going out to shopping or supermarket or..., i will be back in few hours time so you and daddy stay home. He will cry and i don't know what hubby dealt with him because i just don't want to call and told hubby not to call me unless he cannot handle at all. We use 3G so if we call he can see us so i try not to use that function. When i came home even he is crying when he sees me at the door but i will act like nothing happen and smile and tell him with excitement that mom has good time shopping or seeing friends and thank you for behaving and staying good with daddy and etc. Soon he learned that mom will come home and he felt secure. I can now leave the house with no problem at all. He will even say that mommy is going to see friends, shopping, facial or exercise and baby stays home with papa.
It was a whole lot of determination and work for few months but it surely worth it. He is happy either with papa or mommy or both his parents around. Most importantly, he is secure.
- 07-17-2009, 11:47 PM #18Registered User
- Join Date
- Jun 2005
- HONG KONG
I don't quite agree with Carang re. the termination of my helper as I believe she tried her best. She's only been with us for 2 months so I don't think it's fair for her either. Also I know my son's character better than anyone else as I'm with him 24/7. I don't give in to his every whims and fancy. In fact I can be quite harsh towards him at times esp. when my patience runs out (who wouldn't with this kind of demand?). This I try really hard to improve on and create a balance so that things don't go out of hand.
Among other things, I make him sit in his naughty corner whenever he cries but feel guilty for doing so coz' he didn't do anything wrong except wanting to cling on to me. I can't possibly punish him for wanting to be close to me which is really a hard thing to do. But when I have to, I do it with no reservations even if he has to stand there with vomit all over him but he would end up being even more clingy. Could be he thought I'm trying to push him away and deny him the physical closeness. He loves to be ****ed and cuddled and I do it to him all the time. Am I over-doing it? I've tried to be less physically close with him hoping that he will be a wee bit independent and play with his toys or explore other things but he would come and give me hugs and ****es to seek my attention. That would melt my heart instantly and the rest is history.
As exhausted as I am, I'm still finding better ways to work things out but at the same time, enjoying the special bonding we have now. I'm sure in no time, I will be missing this just as much as I'm missing the breastfeeding moments we had. Reminiscing the very first time he latched on and the quiet moments we spent together during his feedings ... Wow! how time flies!
- 07-18-2009, 01:30 AM #19Registered User
- Join Date
- Jun 2008
My daughter (5 months old) loves it too when I play with her but cries when I lay her down. I get tired playing with her too ( I am a professional photographer). What I do is put her in my baby carrier and do my editing (I'm such a multitasker) and even walk around the house without necessarily having to play with her. She just loves looking around!
Even it gets exhausting I find this as a bonding time for us. I'm sure I'm going to miss that stage when she starts growing more and more!
Baby, Children, Maternity, Family Photographer
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- 07-18-2009, 07:45 AM #20
if your helper has only been with you for 2 months, then, yes she deserves a little more time. however, i think, you really need to leave the baby with her more often. maybe for 15 minutes at a time to start with. and gradually make it longer so that your baby has a chance to get used to her taking care of him.
i also agree that a time will come that he doesn't want you anymore... and that time comes all too soon!