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  1. #25
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    gladys, in no way am i being critical (i know that sometimes, when something is written instead of said in person, it can be taken the wrong way)...

    what have your problems been with finding a helper?

    my helper is in no way perfect, but she does everything satisfactorily. she's good with the kids, doesn't mind disciplining them (following our example), but she doesn't "play" with them very often. she takes them to the park, she reads to them, she has them help her do some simple cooking, she will watch a tv programme with them, but she doesn't "play" with them. (not too bad as they prefer playing together anyway).

    she is a very good cook. she has some excellent dishes and some ok dishes. she doesn't do most of the marketing as we live too far away for her to carry it home, so she has to work with what i buy.

    her cleaning is ok. when my second starts school in september, i'm going to expect the house to be spotless... until then, it's adequate.

    i know that no one can be perfect at everything. so, you need to decide if you want:

    1) someone that does everything satisfactorily (not necessarily the way YOU would do it, but not too bad)

    or
    2) someone that specialises in one thing (ie. childcare)

    when our helper started with us, i made very clear to her that until the kids were older, her MAIN job was childcare/cooking. as the kids have gotten older, she has spent more time on the cleaning and other things she does.

  2. #26
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    My husband and I think our darling baby girl is on top of everything else, so childcare is our top priority.

    However, both helpers we had before failed in that. We stated very clear when they started with us, that if my husband and I are out of the house to work, the only duty for them is to look after the baby, no housework, no cooking, nothing just the baby. We did the cooking and marketing ourselves and the helpers did the housework only when we were home. To me, being my helper is like the job in the heaven, only to take care of a newborn baby and simple housework occasionally.

    Our first helper failed because she has no idea about safety. She passed a basin full of extremely hot water over the crib while my newborn baby was sleeping in it. She left the baby on the changing table alone. She said 'yes' to everything but did everything wrong. She mixed thawed breastmilk with chilled. etc etc etc.

    Our second helper failed in the same thing, safety. EVERYTIME she fed the baby she would fell asleep, and I really mean EVERYTIME!! That's crazy I have never seen someone fall asleep so easily! Whenever she sits down to give baby the bottle she would fall asleep, that is SO SCARY!! And the thing she made us finally decided to fire her immediately was she lied to us, she didn't feed baby the whole afternoon and evening, my baby was crying crazy cuz of hunger when my husband back home from work (I was working night shift in the hospital), and she kept lying and said she fed the baby. And after my husband's confrontation with her, she admitted she lied.

    I don't think we are asking for too much, just to take good care of the little baby. My baby girl was just 0-6months when the helpers were with us, we only asked the helper to feed her and change her, that's all, I was responsible to bath the baby myself. If it's only giving bottle and changing diaper and they cannot do well, I really don't know what else to say...

  3. #27
    carang's Avatar
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    wow! that's TERRIBLE! i can totally understand your concerns!

    how much experience did these women say they had?
    did you hire them when they were already in hk? or were they in their home country and then come to hk?

    i'll keep an ear open, if you like. i see a lot of helpers at school etc...

    i can't imagine what you went through! yikes!

  4. #28
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    I lost what I just typed!!! =:(

    Thanks Carang, that's very nice of you.

    Our first helper was a referral from one of our friends, she is a cousin of our friend's helper, who was also our part-time helper. She claimed she has 2 kids and her experience came from raising her own kids. After she was with us, we found out she only raised one of the kids, her family raised her first kid while she was working in HK. We hired her from the Philippines.

    We found our second helper thru the ads on asiaexpat. She worked in the Singapore in a family with twins, then worked in HK for another 2 years in a family with 2 little girls. She is an indonesian lady and we hired her when she was already in HK.

    We had no choice but me quit working being a SAHM. I just hope we can have some luck in finding a good helper, so I can go back to work and help put some much needed money on the table!

  5. #29
    ihave3cats is offline Registered User
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    Gladyswly, that must have been such a bad experience!! I guess it's so hard to trust helpers with babies.. They are so young and fragile.. But to the helpers, they are just another job. I still can't get over the not feeding part of your 2nd helper. Who would have such a heart to starve a baby?! I mean helpers do wrong things all the time, but starving the baby is just so wrong!

    I am getting my helper from this agency recommended by my friend. The best thin I like abt this agency is that they have alot of applicants locally, so I get to interview them personally and a trial run at my home. I believe in what u see is what u get! (after my previous maid lied in her biodata that she is a graduate when she dun even understand English!)
    when u are ready for another helper, u might want to consider this agent.

  6. #30
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    it is perfectly possible that she was a graduate, but that the subject she graduated in was not conducted in english?)

  7. #31
    ihave3cats is offline Registered User
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    I thought about that... But she put there that she majored in English... :( perhaps their English is somewhat different..

  8. #32
    carang's Avatar
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    in THAT case.... she's a liar and i wouldn't trust her as far as i could throw her....

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