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How old were you....

  1. #9
    mumto2 is offline Registered User
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    In australia the average age for the first time mother is 31...I was the youngest at 33 to have a baby out of all my friends...it seems to be getting later and later these days so no panic :)

  2. #10
    nicolejoy's Avatar
    nicolejoy is offline Registered User
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    I'm 28 and had my first at 27. In Australia, many of my friends my age have already had kids - my best friend already has three!! But in Hong Kong, I'm one of the youngest out of everyone I know. I also notice that my husband's friends (he's Chinese) aren't even married yet - only a couple of them are married at 30!! I don't think there's a "right" time to have kids - it's just whatever works for you.

  3. #11
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
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    I was 24-years-old when I had my first (and only) child. In Hong Kong and among the expat community here, I'm looked at as a virtual "child bride" as I got married when I was 23-years-old which is more than a decade younger than most of the women I meet here. Where I'm from, any age post-university (22+) is normal for getting married and usually people have their first child within the first 1-5 years of marriage if they are going to have children at all. Most of my friends were around 23-25-years-old when they got married--some a bit older--in their late 20s or early 30s. Getting married at 35 or older is quite unusual where I come from. People don't really need to compromise their family life and aspirations with their work life and aspirations where I come from because the workplace doesn't put the same demands on them that the HK workplace does. Work and life can co-exist rather harmoniously where I'm from it seems.

    I think there is a reason why women start to think more about having children in their 30s--physically, fertility begins to decrease after 27-years-old. It's not a huge decrease at first but across the board it has its first real dip at 27 and then starts to slightly go down from there. Some people call this your "body clock ticking." With the advent of modern technology, a lot of fertility issues can be helped or overcome, however, I think it's good to keep in mind that fertility does have its limits.

    Sure, you can have your first child at 40-years-old and some women even go so far as to have one at 50 or older (in those rare cases you hear of once in awhile on the news). But, in general, you can expect that you will age and therefore having your first child at 40-years-old could prove more physically challenging (conception as well) than having your first in your early 30s. You also should take into account your own personal health and family health history. Also, the risk of conceiving a child with birth defects (especially Downs Syndrome) goes up significantly the older you get.

    Some women have amazing fertility and could continue to have children well into their 40s with no problems. In my family, my mother who is very healthy started going into menopause in her early 40s and by the time she was in her mid 40s she was completely through "the change." It was not premature menopause in her case and she actually didn't have much complications with the hormonal change at all. I'm just saying, that if she had waited until she was 40 to try for her first child, it may have been a no-go without expensive fertility treatments that can't really even guarantee success.

    Also, I know that I don't have the same energy I had even 5 years ago (and I'm still in my 20s!) so as you get older, your energy level can change and pregnancy, infancy and all that goes into being a parent is very energy consuming. It's my personal opinion that it's better to have children while I still have enough energy to keep up with them.

    Of course, in the end, you'll weigh your options and make the best decision for yourself but in my humble opinion, the stars will never perfectly align for having your first child--it will never be a perfect situation but if its in your heart to start a family and you've come to the point where you're really questioning it and getting mentally geared up for it, that probably tells you that earlier is better than later for you. I doubt you'll regret it having a baby now, as opposed to five years from now.
    Last edited by thanka2; 08-14-2009 at 08:10 PM.

  4. #12
    southside852 is offline Registered User
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    I was 30 and it defiintely seemed like it was on the early side amongst most my friends from NYC who are still not even married! Don't worry about it! When it happens, it's usually for the best!

  5. #13
    canadianinhk is offline Registered User
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    I was 37 when I had my first and I know lots of people both here and where I am from that have children this late or later. I still have lots of energy and am enjoying every minute of being a mommy!

  6. #14
    Shenzhennifer is offline Registered User
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    I was a couple months away from 32, which I still am. Would like to have another in the next year or two. I think there`s nothing wrong with waiting at all, but I think the human body must tolerate pregnancy a lot better with a younger age (in general, not talking about exceptions).

  7. #15
    Michelle2009 is offline Registered User
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    I turned 34 in July and am expecting baby no.1. in October.

  8. #16
    csj
    csj is offline Registered User
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    I'm 33 and had my first child in March.
    A lot of my friends here around the same age still don't have kids --most of them, although together for a while, are still not married and most of my my friends back home had their first child at around 25.
    I think a lot of people here are too busy focusing on their career/travel/having 'fun' (in LKF for ex.) to take the next steps in their relationships. Meanwhile back home, getting married at 25 and having kids by 28 is the norm, although theses ages are being pushed back like in most of industrialized countries (because of longer studies, and women wanting to start up & establish their career and being more financially secure).

    One friend had her first recently at 40 but because she met her husband only about 4 years ago. My sister at 30 is still single and all her friends are in relationship and/or have kids. She's desperate to 'fit in' but I tell her 'rather be single than in a bad relationship'.

    I agree with Nicolejoy, there's no standard 'right time' to have kids. Be patient but still keep fit just in case and enjoy your time as a couple as much as you can now !

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