HELP!!!!! 4-month old not sleeping on his own.
- 09-01-2009, 09:46 AM #9Registered User
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How about reading the Baby Whisperer? Sleep clinic sounds great but books are cheaper - maybe you can exhaust your options a bit first. 4 months is still young - there`s enough time to change bad habits and for your baby to learn to sleep on his own.
I have also created a monster in some respects with my own - I think as parents this is inevitable at some point about something.
I might try to separate the napping and nighttime sleeping issue. I think it is harder to change the latter, so maybe starting with napping can help with the night time sleeping. I learned that nap time routines are just as important as night time routines - they are essentially mini versions of the night time routine, without the bath and hopefully without the breastfeed.
I agree that you can`t spoil babies under 6 months (and over I think) but like all human, they are especially creatures of habit, and when they get the same thing over and over they come to expect it. So in order to change what they expect, you have to change what you do. easier said than done, I know, but start by doing small things differently. I am also against CIO (but with my baby nearly 8 months sometimes it doesn`t pain me anymore to hear him cry for a while) and I don`t think you necessarily have to resort to that (also at that young age), but there are other methods. I still want to read the No Cry Sleep Solution for ideas. I think the Baby Whisperer has some good ideas (i would go with the 2nd book), some of which I employed though not at a really gung-ho level. The main idea there is the `pick up put down` method, where you don`t ignore the baby, you pick it up when it cries, but when it stops you immediately put it down again, and so on and so forth. It might result in dozens and dozens of times but it`s supposed to help. I have done a very weak version of that, and I have gotten some results, though weaker results:)
I would just want to check more into the Annerly course. If they do like the Baby Whisperer did and take control and essentially do your dirty work for you and leave you to enforce it afterwards, it might be worth it. But $2400 is a pretty penny to spend if they`re just lecturing on the same methods that we can all read in the books. My friend in Aus took her then 6-7 month old to a sleep school for a few nights and said it was awesome and totally worked - but I have no idea about Annerley.
The frustrating thing with babies and sleep is just when your situation changes and you think you have it under control, another variable comes into play and throws you for a loop. I`m going through this now with my little honey.
By the way, I also breastfeed, no formula, and at 4 months, and even til I started solids, he was still breastfeeding like a newborn at nighttime. I felt like you do, and still do most days. I started drinking coffee again. The real stuff, with caffeine, yum.
- 09-01-2009, 09:54 AM #10Registered User
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Don't blame yourself too much. You've made your baby feel very safe and secure in his first few months...the most important job you could have done. Congratulations!
- 09-01-2009, 12:48 PM #11Registered User
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Hi Starbucks2,
Here's ur response from yesterday. Hmm, it seems to have been lost?
THnaks for your tips,
Aussie mum,
Thanks you for ur tips too and also link.
Cheers,
Piper
- 09-01-2009, 12:54 PM #12Registered User
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Hi Shenzhennifer,
Thanks for the detailed response. I have order the recommended books and hopefully have some "sleep on your own" results!!! Yeah!!!!
Thanks again everyone for your advise, suggestions and like tutor1 did... kind words.
THANKS A BUNCH AGAIN!!!!!
- 09-01-2009, 01:44 PM #13Registered User
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Hi piper
I worked out what the problem was. You have 2 threads with the same question :) and same title. I have now successfully posted on both - with a remarkably similiar response - my memory can't be too shot after having a baby!
SB2
- 09-01-2009, 02:09 PM #14Registered User
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Hi - I also created a sleep monster and basically I let her cry. I knew that she was fed, clean and burped and safe in her cot and let her cry. Of course it was hard listening to her cry but it was worthwhile. The first time she cried for 10 minutes and then 7 minutes and then 5 minutes etc etc. Overall, it took 3 days before she would sleep without crying. I do the same routinue with her before every sleep. I get her favourite blanket and sing a lullaby and then put her in her cot.
Be strong - my friend said that the best thing that you can teach them is to fall asleep by themselves.
- 09-01-2009, 03:57 PM #15Registered User
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Hey there - I personally could never do controlled crying but thankfully haven't had to because I used the shush pat as mentioned above from a very young age so my baby always went down awake in her own bed and fell asleep that way. It was VERY time consuming, I would have to sit doing this maybe 30 minutes at a time for every nap, after every feed at night etc. which for a newborn is a lot!! However I am sooooo glad I did it because now she just goes off to sleep like a dream, can really recommend it if you have the patience. Not 100% sure how easily will work for a 4 month old though, maybe he's a bit big for this now?
- 09-01-2009, 04:01 PM #16
I was in the same situation as you, Piper. My baby would not sleep unless she is sleeping in my arms. I have read both the books 'no cry sleep solution' and 'no cry nap solution', but none of that 'solutions' work. Finally I trained her to sleep on her own by 'controlled crying/crying out loud', it works. If you wanna read the books I mentioned to see if the 'solutons' work for you, you can PM me I can lend them to you, so you don't have to waste money to buy in case it doesn't work.
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