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3-month old baby won't nap unless being carried

  1. #9
    Shenzhennifer is offline Registered User
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    Kimmy2009 - it`s good that you already have a routine, but as karmah1 says, consistency is the key. Also, 4.30 is fine for a bath, but if it`s part of your nighttime routine, I think it`s a bit early. Maybe you can change the order a bit, where you do some quiet play first and then give him a bath. My son also didn`t like massage so I stopped doing that a long time ago.
    The reason that your baby is crying might be because he is already overtired. That`s probably why he`s also rejecting your breast, and he might be too full from the bottle anyway. It really depends on your timing. My son also does that too sometimes, if I am a bit late or rushed for his naptime, then it`s harder to calm him down and he takes a shorter nap.
    To be honest, and this will interfere with my own plans for sleep adjustment, I quite enjoy breastfeeding my son to sleep at night - something we have done since his birth. But unless you are committed to either do that forever(as long as you keep breastfeeding) or sleep train him later, I would either replace the bottle with your breast earlier, or don`t offer him the breast at that time at all. Just from my own experience.
    I can`t believe how big your baby is!!! That means he`s bigger than my 8 month old! Maybe you should listen to your doctor, hehe.
    You can get all the books from your library - saves the money which adds up with books, especially since you don`t know which you will like. You can also order it your your local library online from HK library website- it`s very convenient.
    Good luck and hope you get some alone time this weekend.

  2. #10
    Kimmy2009 is offline Registered User
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    Hi karmah1, how many hours did it takes for your baby to fall asleep when you first used the pick up and put down routine?I was tempted to try but on the other hand willit be too exhausting for the baby too? This afternoon I was trying it for my baby nap. The moment I put my baby down he cried , I picked him up immediately and he stopped. Then put him down again, he cried, then picked. I repeated a few times and my baby looked confuse. I will tried it again tomorrow.

    Shenzhennifer, I realized that after I breastfeed lying down my baby will sleep longer if I sleep with him. Today he nap for an hour with me. If I am using the cradle position I need to put him down later and he will sleep less than 20 minutes. I enjoyed breastfeeding him to sleep but what would I do after I stop breastfeeding? How would he fall asleep without the breast?

  3. #11
    lesliefu is offline Registered User
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    there are conflicting views on carrying and not carrying babies when they cry. since a babies cry is their way of communicating that something is wrong...so what I did was check everything that could possibly be wrong...wet nappy / too hot / hunger / too dark / too bright and when everything is fine then I just put her down and then let her cry....for say 5 mins and then pick her up to soothe her and then once she is quite put her down again. each time I would let her cry for longer and pick her up for a shorter period of time....if you do this consistently you can eventually train them to sleep once they get into bed. believe it or not, but you will eventually learn the different cries of your baby so that you know when it is hunger / pain / over exhaustion / or just plan being naughty and wanting you to hold.

    it's not a good idea for them to fall asleep after a bottle or on the breast because when they get teeth you will have to "brush" their teeth before bed time....routine is good...consistency is essential...my baby has her last bottle of milk and then I read a book before I put her into bed awake...then she puts herself into bed in about 10-15mins...

    it can happen! just have to consistent! :)

  4. #12
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    karmah1 is offline Registered User
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    Kimmy2009

    I think it took a couple of hours, for the first hour I stayed in the room, as I he always started to cry not long after I put him down. As the time between putting him down and him starting to cry got longer I left the room, but hovered near the door so I could hear him.

    I think it will work best if you did it at night when baby is due for his longest sleep rather than nap time. Once you have done the bath/massage/milk bedtime routine he should be getting sleepy. Where as if you did it at naptime first he wouldn't be sleepy enough. And he probably will be confused at first as this is something new to him and he is so used to you holding him, but you have to be consistent so he can learn what is going on. It takes a while for a baby to learn a new skill. As everyone says its all about repitition and consistency.

    If you read the Baby Whisperer book she will also describe her experience of doing this with a new baby.

  5. #13
    Kimmy2009 is offline Registered User
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    Lesliefu, karmah1- the pick up and put down method seems to be working well for both of you. I will give it a try too then. Last nite I started the bedtime routine around 5pm and by 6.30pm my baby was sleepy. I breastfeed him and he fell asleep in my arm. I think tonite I have to remove the breastfeeding and put him to bed rightaway so that he won't associate sleeping with breastfeeding.

  6. #14
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    karmah1 is offline Registered User
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    You could still breastfeed but when you see him start to go to sleep why don't you change his nappy before you put him down. He might wake but still be sleepy enough. Or breastfeed a little earlier before he gets too sleepy.

  7. #15
    Shenzhennifer is offline Registered User
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    Kimmy2009 - the key seems to be in having him go to sleep drowsy, but still awake and aware, so it`s him who is falling asleep by himself, instead of using a prop.
    In the book The No Cry Sleep Solution, one of the methods is pretty basic: when your baby`s sucking slows down, take him off the breast and push up his chin to close his mouth. If he protests too much then give the breast back and try it again. There are a few steps to it but this is the main idea.
    Of course, I have yet to try it because I also enjoy breastfeeding my boy to sleep, especially now since most other feeds he now rejects:( But I was going to try this method. What I currently do is switchsides when he gets sleepy to wake him up a bit and to make sure he`s taking in more milk once the one side is mostly drank up, and also breastfeeding him under a light (not too bright) so it`s not THAT comfortable for him.

  8. #16
    sunrays is offline Registered User
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    I sympathize with all of you who are having a hard time getting baby to sleep. I read all the books you mentioned and it's great if you find something that works for you. At the end of the day you need to do what you are comfortable with. I used to feel so guilty for holding my little one to get her to sleep. But I could not let her cry. I spent hours rocking, patting, sshhhing her etc. Yes, it was exhausting but it worked best for us. From rocking it progressed to patting her whilst in her cot, then to holding her hand, then to being in her room. Now she puts herself to sleep. Good news is, it won't last forever. Bad news is she is about to turn 3...which could seem like forever to you now!!!

    Only advice I would give is to check out that there is nothing medically wrong. I found an osteopath who helped as my little one did have some tension in her head at a young age. She always slept well after a session!!

    Good luck to you all.

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