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3-month old baby won't nap unless being carried

  1. #1
    Kimmy2009 is offline Registered User
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    3-month old baby won't nap unless being carried

    My 3-month old son rarely nap in the daytime and most of the time he will fall asleep during breastfeeding. When I tried to put him down he will wake up and cried.My mom said I am spoiling him cos I always pick him up whenever he start to cry. I don't like to see my baby cry cos I think when a baby cries he is trying to communicate with us either he is hungry, wet, uncomfortable or simply wants to be cuddled. Am I really doing the wrong thing by carrying him whenever he cries?

    Even at nite me or my husband have to carry him till he falls asleep. If he woke up when we put him down we have to carry him till he falls asleep again. We have to go through the same process each nite which is very exhausting. I haven't gone out for the past 3 months besides going to the market or supermarket. I quit my job to take care of my baby and now I hope I won' t go crazy. Please advise me if you have been through the same situation.

  2. #2
    Obiwan is offline Registered User
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    Interested to see advice on this as well. My 3 week-old baby also doesn't nap much except when I hold her. Once I put her down in her cot she tends to just sleep for 5 - 10 minutes and then she is up crying. If I pick her up and hold her, she'll be contented and start dozing. So far no such problem at night though (THANK GOODNESS). She has been sleeping well in her cot at night for stretches of 3 or 4 hours.

    I have also been worried about spoiling her. Some books say that you can't spoil a baby, while others advocate not carrying the baby too much ...

  3. #3
    Kimmy2009 is offline Registered User
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    Some expert said u won't spoil a baby under 6-month old but I think baby nowadays are getting smarter. My baby always give me a "carry me look mom". I can't bear to see him cries with that look. But on the other hand I can't be carrying himm all day. I need my own space too.

  4. #4
    Shenzhennifer is offline Registered User
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    I don`t think you can spoil a baby too much, however, they are very much creatures of habit, and whatever you do with them they will come to expect it. Like BFing them to bed, which is what I started to do with my son from newborn until now(8 months).
    There`s nothing wrong with picking your 3months old up when he cries - who can let him cry? Not me. But it sounds tiring about your nighttime habit of carrying him to sleep is tiring for you. Do you have a bedtime routine other than that?
    There is a lot of books that tackle this kind of issue - Baby Whisperer is one and what I`m currently reading, The No Cry Sleep Solution. Both are good books that have a gentler approach than letting the baby cry too much.
    Your baby is still very young and that will work in your favour to start new habits with her. If you don`t have a bedtime routine, I would start one asap, also one for napping.
    By the way, my son didn`t take proper naps until recently. I attribute this to his being more active now. But when he was 3 months old, it was 45 minutes a pop.
    It`s hard being a new parent sometimes. It`s a lot of trial an error. But it sounds like you are dedicated to being good mother, and already sounds as if you are giving your baby lots of love.
    Your local library should have those books - if not put them on reserve. they are pretty informative, especially for new moms.
    Maybe this weekend you can give your baby to your husband for an hour or two and go out and refresh yourself by doing something you like? You can make a weekly habit of it. A few months ago I started going to yoga on Saturday mornings, really the only time I am away from my baby and husband. I really look forward to Saturday mornings now:)

  5. #5
    carey is offline Registered User
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    My baby is 3.5 month old now. He is bottle-fed express milk.

    He did not used to nap well. Between around 3 weeks to 2.5 months, he was fussing a lot when we tried to put him to sleep for nap and nighttime sleep. It took us very often around one hour to just to hold and get him to sleep and he would then cat-nap for 10-30 minutes. During the night, he woke around every 2 hours for feed. It was very frustrating and exhausting.

    He was only getting 12-14 hour sleep everyday. I knew he had a sleep problem but did not know what to do.

    I read many post on Geobaby on sleeping and also found online some useful ones.

    I started to nap train him based on the book "Healthy sleep habit, happy child". Start to put him to sleep no more than 2 hours of wakefulness in the day. It was not easy at the beginning. It took me around 3 weeks to get him to nap better during the way. He is now taking around 4-5 naps during the day and stay asleep 40 minutes to 1.5 hours each time. He naps longer in the afternoon and when someone is napping with him.

    I haven't yet sleep train him for the night because he is too young for it.

    Please take a look at the link below. It's really help ful.
    How to SUCCESSFULLY teach a baby to sleep - 3rd ed. - Teaching Your Baby To Sleep - BabyCenter

  6. #6
    Sazzy is offline Registered User
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    My baby use to not nap and then fall asleep whilst feeding - i eventually realised that she wasnt getting enough milk and topped up with formula. She then slept more. Worth a try??

  7. #7
    Kimmy2009 is offline Registered User
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    At the moment I have some sort of sleep routine but I wasn't consistance with it. I bathe my son around 4.30pm(sometimes earlier). Then massage him but I doubt he likes it cos he seems ticklish. And play some classical music. Changed him into his pyjamas. I finished within an hour and then play with him. By 7pm he gets cranky and rub his eyes. I fed him bottle and bring him into the room and dimmed the light. He will starts to cry and I tried to stop him by offering my breast but most of the time he will reject it. Then I will tub his back and make the shhhhh sound. Eventually he falls asleep in my arm after a good cry. I am not sure why does he always cry before bedtime. Asked the doc and he said some babies are like that. It is normal?

    I topped up with formula 4 to 5 times a day cos I don't have enough milk. But doc adiviced to feed more BM cos my baby is overweight. He weights 8 kg at 3 months. I am on some pills to increase my milk production.

    I briefly read some reviews on the baby whisperer and the no cry sleep solution. Will ask my husband to get the books this weekend cos I am so desperate now.

    Shenzhennifer, tks for your suggestion for a yoga class. I should follow your advise.

  8. #8
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    karmah1 is offline Registered User
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    Kimmy2009

    The key is consistency. Maybe your starting the bedtime routine too early. I've always started about an hour no more than two hours before actually putting my son to bed. His routine has not changed since he was 6 weeks old and he is now 9 months, so he knows what to expect. I've made little changes along the way introducing story time, brushing teeth, etc.

    I followed the Baby Whisperer technique of pick up and put down, yes its hard work for the first couple of nights but it does get easier! Again the key is consistency. This is what I was doing at 3 months...5pm bathtime, followed by massage, lights were dimmed in his room with soft music playing. Then breastfeed followed by a top up bottle ( I also had same problem as you with low milk supply), change nappy if needed and then between 6-6.30pm would lay him in his hammock and tell him its sleepy time. I would then walk out the room. I left the music playing in his room till I went to bed, babies don't like complete silence. If he started crying I would pick him up, comfort him and as soon as he stoped put him back down then walk out of the room. This pick up and put down routine lasted about 76 times the first time I started but over a couple of nights it got less and less. Eventually I was able just to pat him or rub his back saying shshhh, rather than pick him up.

    You need to persevere for at least a week. You will get tired and think its not working but you need to be consistent because it does work in the end and baby is learning to put himself to sleep. Its the best gift you can give him. Jut think in the long run you don't want to be still rocking a heavy toddler to sleep in your arms every night!

    And I also do yoga every Sunday morning....its the only me time I get during the week and I love it!
    Last edited by karmah1; 09-17-2009 at 06:40 AM.

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