Forums  •  Classifieds  •  Events  •  Directory

 
Page 3 of 7 FirstFirst 12345 ... LastLast

Unsympathetic Husband

  1. #17
    geomum is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Hong Kong
    Posts
    719
    Snagito I did invite my friends over once and we had a major fight over it, I was so ashamed to tell my friend we had to cancel. Everytime my friends invite us I have to make up excuses. He only socializes with his colleagues many are single and thats the way he likes it. He will never take our girl to a playgroup coz thats my job, he takes her out though every weekend here and there. After a lot of insisting I told him to take her to Playtown one weekend and he sat on the side reading the newspaper while I was running around after her. Like I said he only does what he feels comfortable doing.

  2. #18
    Sazzy is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Hong Kong
    Posts
    298
    My hubby is the same although he never comes out with it but he definitely thinks it. He sat on the side in Playtown on his blackberry!!
    1. It is so hard being a F/T mum - you are doing a great job and never forget that. 2. It is also completely fine to want some alone time and to put yourself first. If you are happier and refreshed but your little one will also benefit from it too.
    Cheer up - you are doing great

  3. #19
    Neha is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Mid Levels, Hong Kong
    Posts
    1,337
    Dont take it the wrong way but if ur husband is critical of u with one child how difficult is it going to be with 2 kids.

  4. #20
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Sai Kung
    Posts
    6,259
    as for divorce "not being the norm".... that may be BUT:
    would you rather
    A) your children grow up thinking that disrespecting women (and mothers) is not only OK but encouraged (monkey see, monkey do)

    B) see a happy, fulfilled, respected & loved mother???

    i came from a family where the father had absolutely no respect for the mother. it was NOT a happy household. i could not understand why my mother took 18 years to gather the courage to leave that abusive relationship.

  5. #21
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    HK
    Posts
    1,623
    Quote Originally Posted by spockey View Post
    Sometimes, it's important to walk away so that our partners can gain some perspective.
    Well said. My husband has really tried to be understanding throughout and has really gotten in there and gotten his hands dirty with diapers. In the beginning when our son was born he was a way better caregiver than I was just because he has unending patience--and, well, he didn't have to go through post-partum physical and mental stuff either.

    But, I don't think he really "got" how hard it is to take care of our son, all day long, day-in-day-out until about 6 or 8 months ago when for a week he had to take off of work and be "Mr. Mom" for a week. He actually loved it but at the same time, by the end of the week you could really see in his face and eyes that he was getting worn out and now we have a common understanding of the amount of energy and work that goes into taking care of our son. So, if he comes home and I look at him and say, "The baby drove me crazy all day" he knows its time to take over the shift. I don't even need to say anything more than that. He doesn't protest or try to explain away how I'm feeling because finally he can relate.

    So, I totally agree that sometimes you need to "drop the ball." Drop it directly in your husband's court. Just tell him that he may call you irresponsible or whatever but it's time for him to have the experience of dong your job. Walk in your shoes a bit. And especially now that you're getting ready to have another baby--he'd better start appreciating his wife or, well, as they say "If mama ain't happy, then nobody's happy."

    And here's some encouragement--sometimes just getting through the day with your baby healthy and your sanity somewhat intact is the greatest accomplishment of all. So what if the damn floor is dirty and the dishes aren't washed and you're having instant noodles for dinner. In the long run it doesn't matter.

  6. #22
    reei is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Hung Hom
    Posts
    430
    i want to slap his face too..
    let me join in.

  7. #23
    geomum is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Hong Kong
    Posts
    719
    Thanka2 I have told him to take care of daughter for a few hours while I go out, he says then why don't I go to his office and work. He says its divison of labour, he works in office while I at home. He is not happy seeing the house dirty, or food not cooked properly. He tells me what have you been doing the whole day meeting friends? He knows its a hard job taking care of toddler but he thinks women have been doing it for ages so why do I fuss.
    Cara you are right he has seen his mother being abused and says my life is a breeze compared to her who suffered hell and still did a fantastic job of raising 4 kids.
    To go to counselling first of all he to agree there is something wrong with his attitude. He gets furious when the word counselling is mentioned, he is not the kinds who will seek advice from anyone as he thinks he is perfect just the way he is.

  8. #24
    yuukalim0404 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Tseung Kwan O
    Posts
    171
    does this man earn a lot of money? or is there something that is making you tolerate all these nosense from him?

    has he been like these since married or changed after baby was born?

    what about your own family are they here in HK to lend you some support? its seems just moral support here in forum may not be enough to get you out of this difficult situation.

Page 3 of 7 FirstFirst 12345 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Get together with partner/husband
    By 3Tower in forum Babies Born in 2010
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 06-09-2010, 11:22 AM
  2. What time does your husband get home?
    By Shenzhennifer in forum Everything Else
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 06-19-2009, 11:14 PM
  3. Replies: 14
    Last Post: 07-25-2007, 04:40 PM
  4. What do you buy for your Husband's birthday??
    By gogoma in forum Everything Else
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 12-06-2006, 10:45 AM
  5. The Husband's Role
    By FirstTimeDaddy in forum Hong Kong Pregnancy Forum
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 05-18-2006, 08:39 PM
Scroll to top