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View Poll Results: How many kids would you want to have if you had a choice?

Voters
63. You may not vote on this poll
  • 1

    1 1.59%
  • 2

    17 26.98%
  • 3

    31 49.21%
  • 4+

    12 19.05%
  • None

    2 3.17%
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How many kids would you want to have if you had a choice?

  1. #17
    MommyTo3 is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by carang View Post
    i didn't say that it definitely meant they didn't love their child. i said, i HOPE that they hadn't. if a person really didn't want kids then had one, it COULD cause resentment towards the child. i would hate for the child to feel that.

    i'm not accusing anyone of anything.
    No, I didn't say that, but I was just pointing out that just because things go differently in life, doesn't mean anything (negative).

  2. #18
    HK2008 is offline Registered User
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    WOW, ladies, thank you all for sharing your thoughts...I'm not at all surprised at the result so far---more people want to have three kids, exactly as what I observed back in Australia...But just as starbucks(if I remember correctly) mentioned, when you have three kids, how do you deal with one specific situation: when all of them want to be picked up at once? I often say to my hubby 'luckily we only have two, otherwise the third one might be standing there feeling disappointed/upset'...I could be wrong because one thing I've learned after having baby#2 is, we parents have endless love towards all our children...

    Cara and Mom2Sofie&Twins, I think I understand both of you: Cara would hate to see any kids being unwanted by the parents(being such a good-hearted person herself); but Mom2Sofie&Twins also made a very valid point: some parents might be doing things differently for numerous reasons(which should be absolutely respected) if they could turn back the clock. I myself mainly struggle to see the pros and cons between having 2 and 3 children(which is the stage where I'm at)...Would love to hear more ladies' ideas on what prompt(ed) you to have 3 instead of being happy with just 2. As for those voted 4+, I think I got the point: the more the merrier!

    Ladies, I also think I'd be more content to see 3 kids happily playing in my own grassy/tree lined backyard than here in HK...No offense intended. We came to HK with full knowledge that space is a problem...I'm just being homesick again I guess...
    Last edited by HK2008; 10-02-2009 at 11:00 AM.

  3. #19
    Monty is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by HK2008 View Post
    Ladies, I also think I'd be more content to see 3 kids happily playing in my own grassy/tree lined backyard than here in HK...No offense intended. We came to HK with full knowledge that space is a problem...I'm just being homesick again I guess...
    I posed this question to my hubby last night (thinking he wanted to stop at 2) and he said to me if there was no financial/space/time considerations he would go for 3 and consider 4.

    I'm feeling exactly like you at the moment HK2008 - I would love to see 3 kids happily playing in my own grassy backyard (complete with home veggie patch!) than here in HK. I'm feeling terribly homesick as well - that makes 2 of us!

    Hang in there!

  4. #20
    MommyTo3 is offline Registered User
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    Just keep in mind ... you could have twins the next time around ;) ... and you should be up for that one too. Mine came completely out of the blue (no meds, no family history, no nothing). But it's a fact that we're getting older and older when we have our children and chances for (fraternal, which is most common) twins go up once you get older (especially 35+, I was 33) and you go through more pregnancies.

    Not to scare you, because it's great, but it's reality! So many twins here in HK!

    I heard "one more" so many times ... ended up with "two more" ...

  5. #21
    starbucks2 is offline Registered User
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    I am homesick for the backyard dream too! Not helped by just returning to HK after 3 weeks at home ...

    SB2

  6. #22
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    nicolejoy is offline Registered User
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    The one thing that makes me "homesick" in Hong Kong is thinking about the whole backyard for the kids to play in thing. I can handle being away from my family, I can handle living in a shoe box - but it's harder when it's my kid(s) living in a shoe box with no back yard and being away from family.

    We currently only have 1, but we'd love to have at least 2 more... My baby was a really good baby, very easy - and even when she was only 6 months old, I was already wanting another one!! She's nearly 1 now and hopefully it won't be tooooo much longer before #2 comes along.

    I'd also love to adopt as well - my husband (Chinese) was originally 100% against the idea, but after having one, he's changing his mind. I don't know if we ever WILL adopt or not - but I really would love to...

    If money and space were no consideration, I'd like to have 2 naturally and adopt 2 - but we'll see what happens...

  7. #23
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    carang is offline Registered User
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    if you ladies who are missing your backyard are willing to give up living "centrally" there is no reason why you can't have one! there are lots of village houses around, in great communities that have gardens, or at least a rooftop (depending on your budget) or maybe even both!

    you and hubby just have to get used to the idea of not being in the midst of everything with shops on your doorstep. it is possible to have exactly what you crave for fairly little (by HK standards).

    as i've said before, we have it. we have 5 large bedrooms(we don't use them all as bedrooms~ the kids share a HUGE room, we have a MASSIVE ensuite, we use one for storage, one for a PLAYROOM!!!, and one for our helper), 4 large bathrooms, two large balconies, 1000' garden PLUS a rooftop. we pay less than $20k/month. yes, we have to drive almost everywhere, but for us and for all of the expats in our village (there are only 3 or 4 locals) the trade-off is so worth it!

    when i was in Oz last year, i caught myself saying to my friend... "oh, you have a garden! what i would give to have a .... wait, i have a garden! a PLAYROOM! it must be wonderful to have the space to have a .... wait, we have a playroom!" it really hit home and has cut the homesickness down quite a bit to realise that we have almost everything we would have if we lived "at home" instead of HK.

  8. #24
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    nicolejoy is offline Registered User
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    Cara, I'd love to move out far away - BUT I don't have to travel to Central for work every day. Hubby does and he's always been a "Hong Kong Island" person. When he was born, he was living in Causeway Bay, then lived mostly around Tai Koo... we're currently in North Point. We might be able to move a bit further out and get somewhere bigger/with more facilities... but I doubt he'd ever want to live out in "country Hong Kong"!! Every time we visit out there, I'm like "Wow, so much space for much less $$!!" and he's like "Wah - so inconvenient. I'm SO GLAD I don't live out in the middle of nowhere!!"

    At least I know that we ARE planning to move back to Australia some day, and our sacrifices over here will pay off and we'll be able to afford something there that is bigger/nicer than we would have been able to afford if we'd never lived in Hong Kong. And really, it's not THAT bad...

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