Forums  •  Classifieds  •  Events  •  Directory

 
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Ethical Dilema Need Advice

  1. #1
    megan2008 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    sheung shui
    Posts
    215

    Ethical Dilema Need Advice

    Every night literally, I hear my upstairs neighbor yelling at the top of her lungs at her child. Every night I hear her child cry to sleep. I not sure what to do, if I should do anything? The child doesn't seem very old...maybe 2 years old? I don't hear the father too much but I have heard them fight loudly with each other twice (within 8 days). I have been very tempted to go upstairs and say something. I don't speak cantonese and they are speaking in cantonese. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Any advice? It really stresses me out hearing this child cry every night.

  2. #2
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Sai Kung
    Posts
    6,259
    although i sympathise, i have an almost 3 year old that cries and screams for 5-10 minutes virtually every night. however, i've found that the best way to deal with her is to let her cry for about 2-3 minutes, then go in and ask if she's finished and would like a cuddle before she lies down.

    usually by the 2nd or 3rd time, she says "yes, please, mummy". at which point, i sit on the side of her bed, give her a cuddle and she goes to sleep without further ado.

    i don't know how long the crying goes on or what the situation is in the flat above you. do you think the child is being physically abused? do you think that she's crying because she doesn't want to go to sleep or because her mum is yelling at her? (i know i often raise my voice when i'm at my wits-end. every time i do, i regret it and try to calm down asap...) if you think the child is in jeopardy, maybe you could call the equivalent of child services? (i think they are found under the auspices of the hospital/health authority)

  3. #3
    megan2008 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    sheung shui
    Posts
    215
    It doesn't soud like she is hitting but I don't know for sure. The crying lasts for a while; the mom continues to yell at the child while it is crying. She'll take a break (couple minutes)and then yell some more the cycle continues for a while. It's a hysterical cry, very hard to hear :( I just want to hug the kid. I don't know what is being said because I don't speak the language. I think they did have a complaint about the noise last night though because she stopped yelling after the house phone rang.

  4. #4
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Sai Kung
    Posts
    6,259
    i'm not sure how old your child is, megan, but i know with mine, that they sometimes get so hysterical that the only way for them to hear me is if i "yell"...however, this is NOT an every night or every day occurance.

    like i said, if you are concerned, file an anonymous "complaint" or "report" with the child services. they can check it out properly.

    good luck!

  5. #5
    megan2008 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    sheung shui
    Posts
    215
    My child is 16 months. I completely understand being frustrating and am trying not to jump to conclusions or put my nose where it doesn't belong. I guess I just need to know that I am not ignoring something that shouldn't be ignored. I only usually hear it at night, so maybe it is just an issue with sleep.

  6. #6
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Sai Kung
    Posts
    6,259
    my daughter will be 3 in feb and my son 5...i can tell you that bedtime arguments (although fairly rare in my house) have on occasion lasted over an hour at a time.

  7. #7
    Frenchy is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Ap Lei Chau
    Posts
    635
    If your intuition tells you there is something wrong and you feel bad for the child, just contact the child services, but don't go to meet your neighbours yourselves, they would probably just slam the door at your face. I understand your frustration (we've had the same problem with a former neighbour and did the mistake to ring at their door), and it's reassuring to see some people care for others.

  8. #8
    fingerscrossed is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Tin Hau
    Posts
    128
    We had neighbours who were fighting and screaming at each other. My husband understood what they were on about and called the management office to see to the problem because it sounded like they were going to lash out at each other. If your management office is helpful enough, call them and make sure they pay a personal visit to the neighbours. If the neighbours get visited every time they make a racket, they might mellow down a little. But whatever you do, keep out of it yourself.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Advice pls!
    By cupcake in forum Education
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 04-19-2009, 07:59 AM
  2. Need some advice!!!!!
    By h2o in forum Preparing for the Arrival
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 10-07-2008, 03:27 PM
  3. Need advice please!
    By anne01 in forum Hong Kong Pregnancy Forum
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 11-20-2006, 08:49 PM
  4. New in HK - Need some advice!
    By Tulip in forum Everything Else
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 10-07-2005, 12:29 AM
  5. Need DH and some advice
    By NewMover in forum Helper Forums
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 07-28-2005, 12:34 PM
Scroll to top