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Home remodeling... yes or no?

  1. #25
    Shenzhennifer is offline Registered User
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    Yes, but cats are constantly grooming themselves...if you know what I mean, then they lick you. Yuck.

  2. #26
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    Gataloca is offline Registered User
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    LOL! sounds like someone doesn't like cats! People mouth are also full of bacteria, but you let your hubby **** you

  3. #27
    Shenzhennifer is offline Registered User
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    Haha, actually I adore cats, always have. It`s just once I got pregnant I saw things differently. Now I don`t care about cats so much. My son is toooooo cute.
    (who says I let my hubby **** me?;)

  4. #28
    AndreaY is offline Registered User
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    I was in exactly the same situation, but the no hammering, or being around renovation works warning came from my in laws. First things first, my father in law is a fung shui expert and he said moving was fine (not ideal but ok) but I cannot be present whilst renovation works were taking place and I could not be there when they were doing the actual moving in. So I think you can tell your parents that, it's not a blind "stay put and not move" rule.

    I am chinese but was not brought up on such beliefs and think it's complete rubbish. Like you, my husband luckily does not believe it either, despite being brought up on it. So I simply obediently told my inlaws that I would not be present whilst renovations were taking place, but I went to check when I needed to and of course, never told them about it and when asked, blatantly lied. Afterall, my husband was not going to take holiday just to oversee curtain rails being put up. That way my inlaws had peace of mind and I still got things done. I also told my helper not to tell my inlaws, just in case they asked her.

    To ease your mind, my daughter has no deformities whatsoever, in fact, she was carried full term, walked at 8 months, talked early, toilet trained at 17 months and just started ice skating at 2 years 3 months. Hope that helps

  5. #29
    canadienne is offline Registered User
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    Yes, definitely don't touch the cat litter, and try in general not to touch the cats!

    Why don't you compromise? Sell off some old furniture and bring in some new without doing any major structural renovations.

    One thing I don't understand is how this can be more stressful to the baby when she is in the womb (and can't hear it very well). Really, noise and moving around a lot are far more stressful to babies when they are out of the womb. I think for the protection of your baby it's best to do things while she is still in the safest place: your womb!

  6. #30
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    Thanks for everybody advices. For everybody peace of mind, I think I will not do any renovation for now. I don't think there is any relationship between doing renovation, and baby deformity, but when people want to blame you for something, they will always be able to find a reason... As someone said, a scar on the baby chin, a mole on the face, etc., and you will be reminded forever for not having followed the advice.

    I think I am just going to rent a storage room, and put there all the stuff we don't need. Clean up the closet, and but some plastic storage cases to put our clothes there.

    If everything get sort out, then probably we will not be in any hurry to do any remodeling job for a while.... Probably later when the baby is a little bit bigger, or probably we would be able to afford a new place, if the apartment prices go down....

  7. #31
    yonge is offline Registered User
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    Reading this just made me so mad as I remember what it was like for me when I was pregnant with my first. I had suffered a miscarriage before that and everyone thought they knew the reason - e.g., it was the bananas, the watermelon, the pineapple, etc. Everyone, that is, except the doctor, as these things just happen. Yes, Chinese culture is a culture of blame, but remember, what people say are more of a reflection of them than of you. If people persist in being silly, just smile kindly and do your own thing (with your husband's support, of course) - in one ear and out the other. It's amazing how unkind people can be, but it's a reflection of their family's values or culture and not necessarily the one that you'll be nurturing for your family. You have the right to have your own peace and if anyone tries to take it away from you, you have to make sure it stops - either by removing them or yourself from their presence. People have the right to talk, but you (nor your children) are not obligated to listen.

    My parents actually moved in with me after my elder son was born. It took some time, but I had to address all the unsupportive habits that they had from their own upbringing that I did want to perpetuate in our family. That includes things like superstitions about diet, children's names, comparing children, etc. I realized that not addressing them would be allowing an environment where the children are exposed to incredibly hurtful words and behavior on a regular basis. And people wonder why so many Chinese children (and adults) have low self-confidence!

    You will know what's best for you and your family, and this goes for beyond renovations. Have a very happy pregnancy and take good and proper care of yourself (as a doctor would want you to)!

  8. #32
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    Yes. Chinese seem to think that "pride" is a bad thing. Remember that, when small, when we had a good achievement, my dad would just swallow his pride, and say some neutral, or even hurtful thing, to make our achievement look insignificant. For some reason they think that when you have high vanity or feel too proud of yourself, you would get stuck, stop improving, and would look down at other people. Get compared with another children is the same thing. One is never good enough, so I stopped caring about what they thought or expected from me long long time ago.

    But part of the reason I am delaying the renovation is because I am afraid that we may be short of time, and don't want to be in too much hurry. Both my hubby and me work from Mon to Fri. On Sat afternoon we are attending to some antenatal classes at the public hospital (as this is our first one, and none of us have idea about how to care for a baby). So really leaves us Sunday. Renovation really takes long time... Like thinking about the design, choosing material, finding a place to live in the mean time, packing, moving.....

    So yes.. I guess it would be good to leave it for later... And at least it would stop my dad from calling other relatives, so to tell them to call me and convince me that I should not do any renovation.... it is soooooo annoying!!!!

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