Home remodeling... yes or no?
- 01-28-2010, 10:27 AM #1
Home remodeling... yes or no?
So I have been living in the same 3 bedroom apartment for almost 8 years (since I arrived to HK). My hubby never did any remodeling, and we just have some simple furnitures, like 2 small closets.. One in our main bedroom, and another one in what was initially the guess room. Now our personal stuff has grown so much, that the guess room is our storage room. The other room (which we use as studio) is another mess.
I really need to do some home remodeling. We need to lot of customized furniture (specially closets for storing our stuff). Although I am planning to place the baby cot in my room for now. I need to redo the guess room to make it a room for the helper and the baby to sleep when he or her get older.
So the point is that my parents called last night, saying that I should not do anything on my apartment while I am pregnant, and should wait at least till the baby is 1 month old before I can move any furniture. They said that I had been living like this for so many years, so why don't wait few months more. They don't understand that I haven't bought anything for the baby because I don't have room to put it, specially since I will have to clean up the "storage room" so that the helper can sleep while the baby sleeps on my room. And another big issue is that they are planning to come to HK to "help me" when I deliver. They don't understand that we don't have the space to accommodate 3 more people and one baby. It is easy for them to say now "we can sleep on the living room", but I am afraid that later, this will bring a lot of stress to me, and specially to my husband, when he comes home every night to find a crying baby, 2 old folks camping in the living room, and stuff placed everywhere.
So I told my parents that I wasn't going to move anything. That we will probably just moved to somewhere else, and the workers will take care of the apartment. But then they said that it is the same thing... cause the baby (probably its spirit) may be naughty and may be playing around on the apartment already??? That when people do moving and stuff doing pregnancy can hurt the baby, and then the baby will come out with problems and deformity??? So I was quite annoyed, and they said that I don't have to listen to them, but I should ask any "old folk" about this issue, and see what they say... So I decided to ask "young folks" instead.
Sorry for the long post and the rant, but I really would like some opinion in this matter. I know there is no relation between "moving furniture" and deformity of fetal death, but I am sure that if I go ahead with our plan, IF anything bad happens, I would be totally blamed. Anyone dealt with a similar situation with you parents or MIL?
- 01-28-2010, 11:07 AM #2Registered User
- Join Date
- Aug 2007
We had just bought a new apartment when we found out that I was pregnant and the apartment definitely needed renovation. Situation is a little different from yours but like your parents, my MIL was very concerned and had me promise her that I would not go to the construction site. Like your parents, she's very traditional and believes that when ones pregnant, you should move furnture, there should be no hammering or nailing as this will cause harm to the "soul" of the baby. I don't believe in any of this but like you said there is that lingering thought of "what if ...". Anyways, in the end we compromised. My contractor knew of my situation and made a deal with me that whenever I entered the site, they would stop any kind of work for me to look around and for us to discuss issues. They would resume work only after I left. Also, any kind of hammering or nailing was done before we moved and anything that wasn't taken care of before we moved it was done 2 months after the baby was born. On the day of the move, I was told to stay away so my husband had to take care of everything. I showed up at our new apartment after the movers had moved all of our boxes in.
BTW, not to give you even more of a headache but my MIL had gone to ask her fengsui master and was told that when you move, the "gods" don't follow you immediately to your new place. So there can also be no hammering or nailing at the old apartment immediately after moving as this could still effect the baby. We had to pay an extra month of rent on the old apartment after moving to ensure that no one was going to go in and move furniture, hammer or nail anything.
I'm not sure how to help you. What does your husband say? In my situation I knew I had to do whatever it took to please my MIL since I was pregnant with their first ever grand child so it was a HUGE deal for them. And also, my husband is actually more traditional than me so I knew would definitely side with my MIL. As long as he didn't make a big deal out of the extra money that we had to spend in order to do things the way my MIL wanted, that's all that mattered. Good luck on whatever you decide! There really is no right or wrong.
- 01-28-2010, 11:22 AM #3Registered User
- Join Date
- Mar 2007
- Hung Hom
i renovated my house when i was pregnant. i moved to my mil house to stay for 2 months and after staying for 1 week, i found out that i was pregnant. but the renovation has already started. i had to go and check on the house and deal with the renovation guys on and off. my mil and my mum, well the old folks were worried, but they keep it to themselves, because there is nothing to be done. the renovation has started.
my daughter was born healthy , but with a scar under her chin. i am not sure whether it is due to the renovation or.. just coincidence though.
if i knew i was pregnant, i would have waited.
- 01-28-2010, 11:35 AM #4Registered User
- Join Date
- Sep 2005
I am pregnant and just moved to a new house too. Just like Wenyinshu, I compromised with MIL and visited the house after the worker's gone ... e.g. after 6 pm and discussed the house's matter with the contractor. I moved to the new house after all the redecoration done and my maid opened all the boxes. However, the house was so smelly that my hubby worried that it would be poisonous to the baby (many relatives said so) that I defferred the moving few more days. It depends on what you are doing to the house though. And all the redecoration process including choosing materials was so tiring that I would suggest that you delay your plan IF THAT IS POSSIBLE.
- 01-28-2010, 01:17 PM #5Registered User
- Join Date
- Aug 2007
- Hong Kong
Try and wait, I was relocated into another office space (can't do anything about it) when I was pregnant and also visited a my husband's office when it was being renovated. My darling son nearly came at 34 weeks.. Traditional Chinese culture is a culture of blame, avoid all stress if possible, things happen, but don't let the old folks have anything against you for the rest of your life. Many people remembered that i relocated my office (it was just across the corridor....) and blamed that event for many many things. Perhaps you can consider going to a hotel for a mini break during the weekend and get professional cleaners to chean up and pack your house and move unnecessary stuff to to a storage facility.
- 01-28-2010, 02:31 PM #6
Do whatever you wanna do, they are not physically here so they can't physically stop you. Unless you trust that BS they were saying.
- 01-28-2010, 02:40 PM #7
Thanks everyone for sharing your experience. My dad was really mad. He said "think of your child", as if I was being selfish and just doing everything for myself. Actually I was just thinking of my child, and wanted to make it a nice place for she or he to grow.
And it really sucks, cause we have been wanting to renovate our apartment for long long time, but we always got some obstacles.... Mainly because I have 2 cats, and most people would not rent their place to us because of that. People that don't have cats, don't know that cats are very clean animals. They do their business in the litter box, and they are constantly cleaning themselves.... My apartment doesn't smell.. but my neighbor, a couple + 4 kids living in a 1 bedroom apartment, their place smell like hell. Young kids can be actually more messy than pets.
Well, back to the topic... Probably will talk with my husband. I know he will be pissed off. Probably will follow Louisouis advice, and do a whole cleaning of the place to see how it look first....
- 01-28-2010, 02:53 PM #8Registered User
- Join Date
- Oct 2006
- Hong Kong
Sorry can't help you with advice on the parents or in-laws as mine would regard such beliefs as superstition. However, on a practical level, it takes ages to get rid of the smell of new paint so I would want to finish renovations as soon as possible before the baby is born and not subject a newborn to paint fumes. Also, it is quite impractical to move out when your baby is 1 month old so that you can renovate. You will have enough on your plate dealing with a newborn without the added stress of living elsewhere and dealing with contractors.
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