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Bringing home second baby

  1. #1
    geomum is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Hong Kong

    Bringing home second baby

    Hi everyone,
    This is a question for those with two or more children. Would really like to know how did you explain your first child about the coming of second baby? Also what was the first one's reaction?
    My daughter will turn 2 years next month and we've been telling her that her little baby brother will be coming home soon, but she doesn't seem to understand as she stays quite. I am afraid she might be very confused when we get our second home, so any suggestions as to how we can make her understand would be very helpful. Any book suggestions for her???
    Many thanks in advance :))

  2. #2
    AmyH is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Gold Coast
    When we got pregnant with our second child our son was 4 so he was a little bit more aware of what was happening. We involved him as much as possible and he came to all of my scans so that he could see the baby while I was still pregnant.

    We found out that we were having a girl so then we always referred to her as his little sister so he was used to hearing it from early on. We also let him pick the baby's name (we gave him three choices and he got to choose!).

    He also was involved in buying all of her clothes and cot, buggy etc so he felt really included throughout the whole pregnancy.

    Our daughter ended up being born on my son's birthday so we bought a present and said that she came for his birthday so that she could give him the present and he always says that she was the best present that he got for his birthday!

    He quite quickly became mummy's little helper so he would help to bath her and change her nappies and make bottles etc so they became quite close from very early on.

    We were quite concerned about having a second because our son was used to being the focus of all of our attention for so long that we were unsure how he would handle having to share us but he has coped really well and he loves his sister so much. she is six months old now and there have been no signs of jealousy at all.

  3. #3
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Sai Kung
    my kids are almost exactly 2 years apart. it is a very confusing for them, but so long as you are talking about it your first should be ok. as soon as i found out i was pregnant, i got my first (son) a doll. it was his baby. we got him one that came with a bottle etc we also got him a toy pram.

    i breastfed both kids and when my elder one saw me bf for the first time, he becanme quite upset (not that he remembered bf himself as he stopped when he was 6 months), but more because he was a little jealous. after two small incidents in the first day or so, he relaxed and started to breastfeed his own baby. when we went out for walks he took his baby in the pram, too.

    good luck!

  4. #4
    Buckeroo is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Hong Kong
    Mine, like Cara, are two years apart. After we found out the sex of the baby, we started talking to him about his baby sister. We got a book called "[ame=""]I'm a Big Brother[/ame]" by Joanna Cole and would read to him from it. There's also a version for big sisters. We got him involved in choosing things for the baby, praising his choices telling him how she'd love his choices; we told him how much his baby sister is so looking forward to meeting her big brother, how she already knows what a great big brother he'd be, etc. On the night I gave birth, my husband took photos and showed them to our son when he got home, saying that the baby wanted t say hello to him. I was told he responded by saying, "So good to meet you, Z." He was 27 months old then. That just melted my heart. Before the baby arrived, I'd taken him shopping for a gift for his baby sister (basically just some things I needed to get for the baby anyway, but his opinion was sought on whether or not the baby would love it and when he said yes, we told him that that could be his gift to her). On the day we brought the baby home, we also had a gift for him from the baby.

    I don't remember doing anything particularly special apart from that. The key I think is to get your first one involved as early as possible, so that when the baby comes, she'd feel some sort of "ownership" (for want of a better word) towards her baby sister/brother. Because she would be a big sister -or a little mommy in a sense, --there would be less room for jealousy somehow. After the baby came, we still made it a point to spend one-on-one time with him, without the baby. Those times were his and he got to make the choice of whether or not he'd want the baby to come along. Anyway, that's how we approached it and our first one has been a super great older brother to his sister. Good luck. :)

  5. #5
    aussie mum is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    I have a two year age gap too. Like buckeroo we bought the 'i'm a big brother book'. And bought a present for him from the baby. It was at the hospital when he came to visit. And was substantial. A large easel. He was super pleased with it and the baby definitely got some brownie points for having given it to him!
    We were also advised not to have the baby with me when my son first came to the hospital to visit. The baby was brought in by a nurse soon after he arrived. That way it was like we were all meeting the new baby together.
    I'm not sure how much of an impact it all had but we had a very smooth transition and my eldest was too good to be true with the whole thing. He is four now and still asks us to read him the big brother book :-)
    Good luck.

  6. #6
    Bess is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    I have 2 yrs between my 2, and DD was involved with the pregnancy - came to all OB appointment and scans (she even came to the hospital with us when I went into labour until Grandma could come and pick her up). We tried to explain to her what would happen as much as possible.

    I also had a little pressie each day for DD when I was in hospital, that her and I could share that day and when I got home - book, crayons etc. (Family and friends also made a fuss of her too).

    When we got home, I made sure that we tried to keep to the same routine (yep even took her to music class on the way home from the hospital, which she loved cos she got to show off her new brother). Also tried to balance games and activites that involved bub, as well as having special girlie time (which she still loves to do). Got quiet good at BF and reading a book at the same time.

    good luck and have lots of fun!

  7. #7
    slamdunk is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Also a book called "There's a house inside my mummy" by Giles Andreae which was great (think can get on Amazon). It's about a little boy waiting for a baby brother/sister. When i read it to my daughter, i said the child was a little girl like her... and she seemed to accept it (the illustration made the child look androgynous!). Like the other posters, a gift at the hospital and lots of fussing by others seemed to do the trick. Also when i was home, made an effort not to overfuss around baby when she was around (at first), even when bf and got her involved in bathtime (bringing the towel), nappy changes (pass the bum-bum cream) etc. I would do all the fussing and cooing over the little one when big sis was in bed/playgroup/playdate - exhausting but things have been great so far.
    good luck!

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