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3wk old goes w/o sleep for 6hrs a stretch!

  1. #9
    monte is offline Registered User
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    I don't have much advice about the sleep thing, except to offer my sympathy and to say that eventually things will get better, and to agree that you need to find some ways to take care of yourself.
    But about routine ... I think that actually there is a world of difference between routine and schedule. 4 weeks is too early, in my opinion, for a schedule that includes specific times for feeding, eating, etc. But I found that establishing a general routine was enormously helpful, both to my baby and to me and my sense of the days. We generally went through the day by eating, playing a bit, changing the diaper, walking around and then sleeping, and then doing the whole thing again. We went for walks and had bathtime at regular times. And of course, at such a young age, any routine is going to be very loose and responsive to what the baby is communicating. Babies are all different and some will fall into a routine more easily than others, of course, but I still think it's helpful to start a regular rhythm to the daily activities for everyone's sake. We have found this to be so helpful in all the transitions our son has made, from moving to traveling to becoming a toddler. (He's now almost two.) Of course, I reiterate, this may just be reflective of our personalities and his personality, and may not work for others, but it worked for us. Best of luck!

  2. #10
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
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    People will differ on this, but I don't think it's ever too early to start having a routine for your baby. I don't buy into the hard-core routines out there (for example like the ones laid out in the book "Babywise") but I think that there is a lot of wisdom in predictability.

    As SZJ pointed out, at 4 weeks the baby is still adjusting to the world around him/her--and everything is new (and maybe over-stimulating and frightening to some degree). So, the wisdom in getting your child on a schedule (one that you both can live with) is that it creates a predictable rhythm in his or her life and sets the agenda for him/her.
    Also, schedules can give you a sense of peace as a parent and an "Yes, I can handle this, mentality." Especially if certain aspects of the daytime routine you lay out do start to produce positive results in your child's sleep behavior--it can be a huge confidence builder. And I don't know any new parents who don't need any extra confidence they can get.

    You can't expect a newborn to know how to set his/her own schedule--they need a bit of help, actually. While thinking about this, I also recommend "Happiest Baby on the Block." The doctor behind that book theorizes that the first 3 months after a baby is born in a way is like a 4th trimester--the baby is still a little "undercooked" when he/she comes out of the womb and requires that time to develop and get ready to really live in the world. He has some helpful and simple methods for soothing babies that he recommends. The books is short and easy to read and there is a DVD that you can get that goes through everything in like 20-30 minutes.

    For us, we were losing our minds (not in a figurative way--but in a literal way--sleep deprivation for many months on end does that to people) so it was a night-and-day difference when we picked up "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" and slowly started to move from the fogginess and haze of the first half-year of my son's life back into the land of the living. Once we started taking to heart and applying what we learned from the book we immediately (within 2 weeks) saw results.

    The book was the starting point for us really understanding our son's personality. From there, we made a plan and stuck with it. And as I said, my son went from waking 3-5 times a night to sleeping 12-14 hours at a shot and we've never looked back. It's worth a try. We were desperate and that's why we tried it and that's also why it worked--because we were so in need of something that we were dedicated to seeing it through until it did work.

  3. #11
    1stimemum is offline Registered User
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    hi all, i have to agree, some form of order in the house is necessary. luckily with this long w/e, husband has been around to help.

    We have tried to observe baby more and read his cues better like the book says and things have improved slightly. well, at least yesterday, he only stay up 4hrs from in the morning.... baby steps...

    One question, the version of Baby Whisperer i have is american and seems very short.. its doesnt explain how to get bubs to sleep once he's already very cranky and overstimulated or past the stage 3 sleep phase.
    i missed the window so to speak.

    Am i missing something in the reading? Possible as yes i'm still running on 4-6hrs sleep.

    thanka2, at what age did your son start sleeping 12hrs a night? that sounds amazing right now.

  4. #12
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
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    The first Baby Whisperer book that was written is usually a paperback. Then there is a bigger book that is actually meant for the toddler years, I think. The first book I read was probably about 170-200 pages and then I happened to pick up the toddler hard-cover book at a thrift store later.

    I hate to discourage you, but our son didn't sleep through the night until he was about 5.5 months-old but I really think that a huge part of that is that we didn't know how to help him and we had no game plan except just surviving. I think that if we had known about the Baby Whisperer book sooner he could have easily been sleeping through the night by 3 months or before because he was advancing developmentally really fast--he was already sitting up on his own at 3 months so I think he would have been better at sleeping at night if we had only known what to do.

    That's why I say--part of it is getting your baby on a schedule (or at least it was for us) but part of it is just enduring what you have to go through with some babies--some babies are just hard and don't sleep. Sure glad to hear your husband has been a good team mate for you!

  5. #13
    1stimemum is offline Registered User
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    i just have to update everyone and let this off my chest. Went to see doc yest for 1 mth check up and doc suspects baby is lactose intolerant. Hence crying for hours after a feed and not sleeping, staying up for 6 hours.

    We tried a sample formula she gave yesterday and guess what, so far for the last 3 feeds, baby's gone to bed in a reasonable/ normal time frame.

    I feel SO SO GUILTY and STUPID for not having checked with the doctor earlier, subjecting him to so much pain and discomfort. For a whole month, as I supplement about 2 -3 feeds a day with formula, he's been miserable the whole time. i'm such a bad mother.....

    anyway i wanted to let everyone know so that maybe some other mum can learn from my mistake and silliness.

  6. #14
    Flack is offline Registered User
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    1st timemum,

    You are not a bad mother for not suspecting this earlier. My baby is lactose intolerant also and it wasn't diagnosed until two months when she had blood in her nappy. She is now on lactose free formula and a much happier baby.
    I'm sure the doctor told you that there is lactose intolerance (which is quite rare) and will require your baby to have no dairy products ever and also there is transient lactase deficiency which is far more common and most babies will grow out of and be able to tolerate dairy later in life. There is heaps of information on this on the internet of you have time for a quick google.
    Hopefully your baby is better now.

  7. #15
    LLL_Sarah is offline Registered User
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    Why are we as mothers so quick to say we are bad?

    Your story leaves me with the feeling that you are a good mother not a bad one. You recognized a problem and then went about trying to find answers to that problem. Yes, it took you a while to find an answer you are happy with but you carried on worrying and looking for an answer until you found it.

    This will actually be good training for the future. So often children's problems aren't immediately solvable and as a mother patience and perseverance seems to be what we need to find solutions.

    So pat yourself on the back and enjoy the fact that a solution has been found.

    Best wishes,
    SARAH

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