3wk old goes w/o sleep for 6hrs a stretch!
- 02-12-2010, 02:54 PM #1Registered User
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3wk old goes w/o sleep for 6hrs a stretch!
hi all, i'm at my wits end. My 3 wk old son wakes up usually at 8ish and just cannot or doesnt know how to take a nap till 1pm. I've tried everything but just as we are about to put him to bed he wakes up and starts crying and the cycle of feeding/ burping, diaper changing, naptime starts all over.
He just doesnt seem to know how to sleep and I"m very worried. this has been onging for at least 4days. I've logged the times and he only sleeps about 10hrs each day and I know thats not enough.
does anyone have any advice?
- 02-12-2010, 03:43 PM #2Registered User
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Have you tried putting him in a sling and walking him about?
Usually the swaying of your body as you walk will lull him to sleep. Then let him stay in the sling until he is ready to wake up.
Are you breastfeeding? If so try to learn how to feed him in a lying down position (side lying is the best for this) and when he is asleep roll away from him, cover him and leave him in the middle of your double bed - usually babies will stay asleep this way. Don't worry about burping him unless he starts to get upset.
Best wishes,
SARAHLa Leche League Leader
www.lllhk.org
- 02-12-2010, 03:50 PM #3Registered User
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All I can say is that my son was very similar. He slept in 45 minute-2 hour stretches around the clock for pretty much the first 5 months of his life. He basically took cat naps. This sleeping arrangement brought my husband and I literally to the brink of insanity and beyond exhaustion.
There are many different ideas and schools of thought when it comes to babies and sleep and all you have to do is search for them and you'll find lots of suggestions on this site.
The only thing that finally got my son to sleep through the night was when we read and started following the book Secrets of the Baby Whisperer.
Personally, I don't think there is any "one-size-fits-all" solution for baby sleep problems and in our case, we just had to tough it out as all the advice that other experienced parents gave us didn't help or apply to our son and his particular personality. (Including, what LLLSarah mentioned about carrying him in a sling--in fact he HATED being in a sling--too confining--hated being swaddled--also too confining. And the "danger" in always having to hold your baby to get him/her to go to sleep is that eventually those babies get big and it's really not cool to have to put your 30-40-pound toddler in a sling and walk him/her around the house to get to sleep--remember, whatever habits you start now could continue on for years, actually).
You might think that 10 hours/day isn't enough because of what the average/normal suggestions by doctors are but the truth is that again, there is no one-size-fits-all. And as I've joked a bit on this site, "You can bring a baby to the bed, but you can't make him/her sleep." So, sometimes whatever we parents do--a lot of what our children do is out of our hands. (And that, to me, was quite frustrating...)
In the case of my son, he was just extremely alert and busy from birth. Come to find out, that's his personality. Even at 2-years-old he is still alert and busy. In fact, we never enjoyed the fabled "sleepy newborn days" with him--he was going full-speed almost from the time he left the womb. For him, the world is far too exciting to spend his time sleeping.
Having said that, when we went on the plan laid out in Secrets of The Baby Whisperer, our son from then on started having a very solid and good night-time sleep pattern. Even now, he lays down mostly without a fight (with his bedtime routine of bath, story, song and sleep) and sleeps a solid 12-14 hours every single night. From 6-months on, this is how it has been.
So, if you haven't read any information about putting your baby on a sleeping/eating/playing schedule, then I recommend starting with Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. But, as I said, there are many other sleep books and opinions out there--and the ladies on this site will have other tips to offer too.Last edited by thanka2; 02-12-2010 at 03:55 PM.
- 02-12-2010, 04:06 PM #4Registered User
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1sttimemum - Mine was the same, but he started to do that from about 4 weeks...maybe till around 10 weeks. Yeah, that was tough. I tried everything. He actually did want to sleep on me, but I was afraid of starting that habit so I used to just put him down after he fell asleep on me (after a feed), then he would wake up within a few minutes, and basically just be awake. It was hard.
If you`re into it, do as LLL_Sarah suggested and walk around with your baby in a sling. I bet he would love that. But unless you`re into the attachment parenting thing, I think that prolonged use of that `trick` would just make it so your baby will not learn how to sleep by himself. It`s a skill that babies need to learn.
I also advocate the Baby Whisperer for new mothers. Very easy read, reasonable and compassionate advice and ideas.
I wish I could tell you better advice. I wasn`t skilled enough at the time to help my baby sleep and he basically grew out of it.
- 02-12-2010, 05:19 PM #5Registered User
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omg, i just got the baby whisperer yesterday (well my husband did) and now i just have to find some time to read it!
i am breastfeeding and he does fall asleep sometimes then but he either gets hiccups or milk starts coming back out and he coughs and he completely awake again.
I have been holding him to sleep but I really need a break as I literally dont even have time to use the bathroom!
Is 4wks too young to start him on a routine... my husband thinks I"m too 'tough' but he's not the one up 20 hours a day!
- 02-12-2010, 05:41 PM #6
My sister was kind of like that when she had her first baby. She was in Canada, and didn't know why the baby just kept crying. I remembered seeing some of the episode of the Baby Whisperer on ATV (or Pearl.. don't remember). I searched on the web, and found that in addition to DVDs, they also have books. I told her, and she got the books. She was later so relieved that she could finally understand what the baby was trying to tell her. It really made her life much easier.
I already have those books on my bookshelf. Haven't read any of them yet, but will start in few months.
- 02-12-2010, 07:40 PM #7Registered User
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Hi 1sttimemum - another vote for Baby Whisperer here, the best book is 'Baby Whisperer Solves all Your Problems'. That book was a life saver for me when my daughter was tiny, I referred to it all the time! Its all very well to say trust your instincts but for many of us having a newborn to take care of is just so outside our experience we need a little guidance. We used the 'shush pat' technique she describes and though it is time consuming it did work and little one learnt to sleep on her own early on. Also, she was on the 3 hour routine from v. early on, she was very happy on it (I am a big softy and would never have done anything harsh or left her to cry etc.). My DD has always been a pretty good night time sleeper (though we have our moments of course!) and I credit the routine thing and letting her learn to sleep on her own early on with this.
Having said that, my daughter hated to nap in afternoon, just would not do it leading to crying and melt downs. For weeks I persisted in putting her down in her cot because Baby Whisperer says never ever let them sleep on you, but when I finally chilled out and let her just sleep on my lap in afternoons we were all much happier and she eventually just grew out of it. So - I would recommend the Baby Whisperer for advice but do not get hung up on details, just keep trying things til you find something that works and don't worry, it will get easier and nothing lasts forever.
- 02-12-2010, 10:28 PM #8Registered User
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I was the EXACT same as you around that time. I thought that he should be going into a routine around that time, I was going a bit nuts, my husband didn`t get it,...but it was not to be, and in hindsight I see that it was still too young. He`s only been out of the womb such a short time and is still adjusting.
But I totally feel for you. Get any help you can, hire someone for a while, call a girlfriend, get your husband to take a day off, anything anything anything. You need your sleep, you need to eat and go to the bathroom and be `sane` so you can give your baby good milk and good love.
I know it doesn`t seem like it NOW, but it WILL CHANGE, and it will get better. But you still need to take care of yourself in the meantime.
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