Confinement Nanny (Pui Yuet)? To hire or not? Recommendations
- 02-22-2010, 09:25 PM #17Registered User
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Hong Kong
Haha ... I actually don't mind the GEUNG CHO at all, in fact, I LOVE the eggs!
I'm getting a pui yuet but only because my helper isn't going to be able to help me much at all (that's another story - hopefully her replacement will be better), and I don't want to tire my Mum out too much. I'd like to be as hands on as possible, but since I'm going to be a first-time Mum, I'm just not sure how I'll cope. If you can arrange for help around the house, chances are you probably won't need a pui yuet.
Not that it sounds like it will apply to you, but too many cooks can spoil the broth too - one of my friends decided to go back to work after 3 weeks because she couldn't stand having mum, MIL, helper AND pui yuet around 24/7, all having different opinions haha!
- 02-22-2010, 10:45 PM #18
ewwwww..... i can't eat an egg to save my life, when you through it in a bunch of ginger vinegar... YUCK!
to be honest, i think it is the look of it more than anything that turns me off!
ps> your friend should have fired the nanny, told the helper to take care of the house work and asked her mum and MIL to go home. there's NO WAY that i would have been "strong-armed" out of being able to take care of my first born!
- 02-23-2010, 12:31 PM #19Registered User
- Join Date
- Feb 2007
I absolutely agree with FutureHKmom, that a good pui yuet will cater to your needs while trying to get you back in good health. 2 years after the birth of my child and boy do I regret not listening to my confine lady - I can seriously tell that I don't enjoy the same health as I did before my pregnancy. I have a friend who had 2 kids, one time without and one time with a confinement lady and she also said she could tell the difference.
There is a common misconception out there that hiring a pui yuet means you don't take care of the baby - in my case as a first time mother , I find her presence very comforting and I learnt a lot from her. I also was grateful for the spells when I can sleep during the day and forget about other stuff when she took care of them.
I believe that the chinese "wisdom" of the comfinement month did not exist for years without any reason, so sometimes I think its better to be safe. Whether your health is worse after the baby or not, you can't tell straight away, I was told that its often a good many years before it shows - besides, if you find you're so good at it that you don't really need a pui yuet, you can always release her early !
- 02-23-2010, 01:07 PM #20Registered User
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
I totally agree with Konradsmom. I also want to note about the taking care of the baby part that my pui yuet was only at my house between 10 and 6pm. At all hours outside of that (and on her day off), it was myself and my husband (occasionally with the help of grandmas) who took care of our son. So it was really great that during the day, I could learn from my pui yuet and also get some much needed rest (though I always had problems napping in the day) when needed.
- 02-23-2010, 01:48 PM #21
By the way, how much does a pui yuet cost?
My SIL recently got a license for pui yuet. She offered to help me if I need her, since she lives close to me. As relative, I don't think if it would be good to talk about service fee (she may refuse it anyway), but probably if she helps me (provided that I need it) I would like to give her a red pocket for her help.
- 02-23-2010, 07:18 PM #22Registered User
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
- South District
If you're serious about hiring a pui yuet, you really need to start booking them soon since the "good" ones need to be booked way in advance. If you can get recommendations that would be best too since I've had friends who haven't had such good experiences e.g. they think they know EVERYTHING and if you don't follow their way they will be upset with you...the food aspect IS important, especially if you don't have anyone to cook for you since you won't have time yourself. The average cost is anywhere from $15-20K a month and they live with you 24/7.
One thing you want to bear in mind though...is that if you'll be training a new helper, learning yourself and adapting to a pui yuet all at the same time...if your MIL is around then you'll have LOADS opinions and ideas offered to you for free...could be potentially messy if their personalities clash!
Another option you could think is hiring registered nurse that are trained in baby care...they can come whenever you want and the cost is about $1000/8hours if I recall correctly....I had one for a week for the evening shift 10pm-8am so that I could sleep. They teach you things...but unfortunately you don't get the good food. Good luck with what you decide! I'm sure you'll be fine! :)
- 02-28-2010, 08:35 AM #23Registered User
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
Thanks ladies for all the input! I definitely want to be a hands on mom but as a first time parent I'm just so afraid that I might screw up. The reason that I wanted to hire a pui yuet is so I can have someone there who can teach me about taking care of a newborn since my family won't be around. I believe that my MIL will be around quite often; however, since we come from different culture and background I'm just afraid that there will be clashes just as you have mentioned Leslie. I think a helper is more important for me since I need someone to help me on the house chores. It's definitely great to hear from all the moms! Hope the advice keep coming!
- 02-28-2010, 10:01 AM #24Registered User
- Join Date
- Apr 2007
- HONG KONG
I'm not sure if you will be breastfeeding. If so, I would just like to mention that there are some issues relating to the Pui Yuets in terms of breastfeeding.
1) the Pui Yuets are rarely trained in breastfeeding management, so they may give you incorrect advice and generally undermine your confidence.
2) the Pui Yuet sees it as her job to make your life easy - i.e. take the baby away from you, hold the baby a lot, deal with it when it cries (often by giving it a bottle), even sleep with the baby. This practice can have a detrimental affect on the breastfeeding relationship as mother and baby need to be together A LOT in order for the breastfeeding to work out.
From a breastfeeding perspective I would suggest considering getting a domestic helper would will look after YOU. And YOU look after the baby. It is tough to deal with a new baby when you are a first time mum, but by solving your problems yourself, and having a lot of hands on time with the baby, you may learn more quickly and feel empowered.
If you wish to breastfeed your baby please feel free to contact La Leche League at anytime - and ideally BEFORE you have the baby. LLL-HK Home Page
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