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adjusting as a stay-home-mom

  1. #9
    nicolejoy's Avatar
    nicolejoy is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    North Point

    I often do what I want to do, knowing that my daughter will be entertained wherever we are - provided we don't just sit in one boring place for too long!! I read a lot - which is easy to do when she's napping. Every person will have their own things that they like to do, but some things are easier than others. It's easier to go for walks with a baby than to go for bike rides, for example. Reading and other inside things are pretty easy - hunting, for example, is much more difficult.

    Maybe you could write down a list of things that you would like to do and try a few of them to see how your baby handles them. I know that my girl is very flexible and will go along with whatever I'm doing - and the only restriction is that she NEEDS a nap in the day. If I'm out all day, she tends to get maybe a 1 hour sleep in the pram - but if I'm home for her nap, she can sleep for more like 2-3 hours. So I try to be home for her nap, if not EVERY day, then at least every 2nd day.

    I know personally, the only thing that I really miss is having a bit more alone time. I miss being able to spend an hour in the kitchen and not worrying about my daughter who is ALWAYS the crankiest that one hour before dinner. I'd love to be able to "wander" a bit more when I'm out - but she tends to get impatient after a while. There are some things that I have to let go of for now and know that when she's older, it will be easier. Or if/when we get a helper...

  2. #10
    Frenchy is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Ap Lei Chau

    Beside my son's activities, I try to meet my friends (all mums) at least once a week and we talk about anything but babies... also I read Internet news and newspapers everyday, any kind, to stay informed of what is going on in the world and in the city. I take some sewing lessons, do some photography, and keep in touch with my friends, by email, postcards, birthday cards etc... and it's already quite a lot of work !:D

  3. #11
    sherwes is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jun 2007

    I have the perfect solution - have another baby!! ha ha. I used to get bored at home with my baby. I was very lucky that he was very settled, slept a lot, was a great eater and almost never cried. Then I got pregnant and now I have a very very active and challenging 26 month old and an 8 month old who is much more demanding that my first baby. I am certainly not bored now!!

    On the topic of intellectual pursuits (ie how to keep that part of your brain that isn't used for making puree and pram pushing from going rusty) I watch Bloomberg, read a lot of non fiction (most historical stuff) and try to read the FT from cover to cover at least once a week. I am reading a really interesting book at the moment called "The Penguin Book of 20th Century Speeches". A lot of the speeches have a political bent and are really interesting to read with the benefit of hindsight.

  4. #12
    matemate is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Hong Kong
    Quote Originally Posted by purple1 View Post
    Thanks for all the ideas. I agree many things can keep baby amused. What about you? How do you keep your own mind sane and what do you do to keep your brain active and challenged?
    i think i get the sense where you are coming from and i also sense that the answers so far are not really satisfying as they still typically related to mom (as opposed to to generic women or men's intellectual pursuits). from a men's perspective, here's my suggestions:

    - get active in a chamber of commerce (they usually have many different activities including investment clubs, interesting speakers, etc.)
    - get active in your school's alumni club (same as above)
    - study a field you always wanted (e.g. chinese history) but do it thoroughly as a researcher, not just reading a few non-fictional books
    - put aside a pot of money and start stock-picking yourself. unfortunately home traders tend to be loners...but you could initiate something through the chamber or alumni clubs mentioned above
    - run a little internet side business (import/export from/to your home country). assuming you are an expat this could be easier and can be done from home
    - seriously consider going back to work

  5. #13
    monte is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Hong Kong

    I found that becoming a sahm was definitely an adjustment. And even though I'm never really bored--we don't have a helper--I do find often that I need more intellectual stimulation. I listen to a lot of podcasts, as someone said earlier, and read the NYTimes online everyday (naptime). I'm a freelance writer, so each evening after son goes to bed I write, and I started taking a grad class this semester too, just to keep my brain active. I used to be in a book club that WASN'T moms, so no chance of devolving into child-related conversation! Also, I've started knitting since staying at home, and it's great to do when my son is awake--keeps me from feeling like I have to jump up and down and entertain him every second. :) I know you said you aren't a crafty person, but maybe there is some hobby (music?) that's not online that you could do during the day with your baby around? I think it's good for them to see us interested and active in our own things, and they are often so curious about it! Good luck. It's a great privilege to be at home, but can be challenging. Lots of women go back to work when they reach this point, at least part-time, and that's always an option too ...

  6. #14
    purple1 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    HK Island

    Really appreciate all the suggestions. I just have to put words into action and actually do some of these!

  7. #15
    HK2008 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2008

    Hi there,
    When I first came to HK, I was often feeling bored, and empty. Then I quickly figured out that I need to make the best use of my time(it's such a luxury to have so much time on hands with a great live-in help). I'd go to gym in the morning for two hours; then study Cantonese for 3-4 hours a day; go have a coffee with friends(that I made here) 2-3 times a week; then go shopping 2-3 times a week...Of course I also spent time with my kids(play together, education programe etc). I felt much better when I made some acheivement on a daily basis. Invest time/efforts on your health; and on keeping your brain active, etc.
    However, a greater acheivement came when I finally found my job about 5 months ago. I have to say nothing stimulates you more than having a job!(unless you can truly enjoy being a SAHM).
    :Butbut I am really sick of the long hours at work and having to drag myself out of bed each and every morning. Now I'm very confused---I don't know what I want any more!
    Hope you can make the best out of what you've got and be sure of yourself everyday:)

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