Forums  •  Classifieds  •  Events  •  Directory

 
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Baby goes to sleep by himself?!?

  1. #1
    OX Jess is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Tuen Mun, Hong Kong
    Posts
    219

    Baby goes to sleep by himself?!?

    Ladies, I obviously have a "silly" question here but would appreciate some advice:

    When you say your baby sleeps by himself/herself, what does it mean? Does it mean you put him into his bed and leave him there and let him fall asleep by himself without being even by his side?

    My son is 9 months old but he has never slept by himself (in the way as I described in the above). I either hold him and let him lay his head on my shoulder/chest and rock /sing him into sleep; or lie down with him side by side and talk/sing him into sleep. Never think I've never tried to leave him alone to sleep... I did try but he always needs our company or juts cries and cries until we attend to him. Can't bear to let him cry so poorly and not go near to him. Is it because I have never 'trained' him? How do you train your baby to go to sleep by himself (without tears, if possible) ?!? Thanks.

  2. #2
    nicolejoy's Avatar
    nicolejoy is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    North Point
    Posts
    1,751
    I think my daughter learnt to sleep by herself because I started as soon as she was born. A lot of the time, she would fall asleep feeding, but the times that she didn't, once I started noticing the signs that she was tired, I would put her in her cot and leave the room. She is very independent and doesn't "need" our attention much - so part of it I think is her personality. She's happy to play alone and in a mall, she'll run off by herself too - doesn't even stop to look where we are!!

    I've heard that the best way to "train" them to become independent sleepers (although I've never tried this myself) is to take baby steps. If your baby is used to you being in the room, then get a chair and move it away from the cot a bit every night, so the first night (or first few nights) you're right next to him, then after he's happy with that, move back a bit until he's happy with that, until you're sitting in the doorway, the you're sitting right out the door way but still in view, then you're right next to his room (he can't see you but you can pop your head around the door if he's upset)... maybe try that? That's a process but it should be reasonably tear-free I've heard...

  3. #3
    LeahH is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Hong Kong, Mid Levels
    Posts
    579
    Hi

    Yep - by himself means just that - falling asleep in his/her cot without anyone in the room, or any 'prop' (e.g. dummy, patting, rocking, etc)

    Is your current method of putting him to sleep actually a big problem for you? If its not, then don't worry about training him - it's works for your life and there is no crying to bear :)

    Although you may face issues down the line - some children magically become independent sleepers once they reach a particular age, but most do not. A toddler that needs to be assisted to sleep is a very different proposition to a baby!

    If you don't want to assist him to sleep every time, then yes you need to train him out of his sleep associations and allow him learn the 'knack' of falling asleep o his own.

    If you are not up for any crying, the 'gradual withdrawal' method that Nicolejoy outlined above would be a great first step. Or maybe get Elizabeth Pantley's no cry solution method.

    Good luck

    There is another live thread debating short, sharp, cry it out vs Elizabeth Pantley you should check out. Basically, you need to do what works for you.

  4. #4
    OX Jess is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Tuen Mun, Hong Kong
    Posts
    219
    Thanks ladies.

    Well, I don't have any problem with my current method of putting him to sleep, i.e holding him or lying down together with him but I just wonder, after reading so many of you saying that your babies can go to sleep by themselves, whether I should 'train' mine or not.

    In the recent couple of months, mine wakes up almost certainly every night at least once, around 3 or 4 am. Instead of crying for attention, he is now trying to pull himself up in his cot. I can't just leave him as I fear he might fall so I have to carry him and rock him back to sleep (as he normally refuses to lie down again!!) Very rarely would he go back to sleep by himself. Before he was able to pull himself up in his cot, I could still be at ease to leave him there and walk away, but now I just can't for fear that he might fall although his cot is well fitted with bumpers.

  5. #5
    Lisainhk is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Yau Ma Tei
    Posts
    222
    Yep I agree with Leah. If your baby goes to sleep easily with your help and it is not a problem for you then there's no need to change that. If my baby had been like that I would not have needed to try any other methods. It's only because he would only take very short naps and then not be able to get back to sleep by himself even though he was sooo tired and was waking at night every hour without being able to put himself back to sleep that I got desperate. If your method works for you, then great! :)

  6. #6
    lesliefu is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    South District
    Posts
    1,055
    Definitely agree with the other ladies! One thing that I noticed with my daughter is that, the older she gets (18 mths now) the harder it is for her to sleep on her own...she still sleeps on her "own" but the process is longer because she knows that there is "fun" outside of her room, so recently I've had to sleep with her etc. to put her to sleep - which is all very new to me, or else she'd wail and cause havoc! Do what works for you and what you have to do! :)

  7. #7
    OX Jess is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Tuen Mun, Hong Kong
    Posts
    219
    Hi, it's me here again.

    Since my son was born, I always carried him and rocked him into sleep, and he always felt into sleep within 10-15 minutes. He is now 10 months old. His sleeping routine was: I take him to bedroom and set up the sleeping atmosphere at 9pm and he almost certainly falls into sleep by 930. But, for no reason, since last Sat my son refused to be carried into sleep and demanded to be laid in bed by himself. At first I was happy with the change as I thought he 'finally' wants to go to sleep by himself. BUT, the reality is not that 'ideal' and I am not sure if most babies are like this or it's only my son.

    When I lay him down in bed, he rolls over and over non-stop feel like having a little game with himself; he plays with his blanket and plush toy; he babbles to himself... all these little activities take 45 minutes and he still shows no sign of falling into sleep!!!! When I tried to pick him up, he struggled and demanded to be laid down in bed.

    Take tonight for instance, I took him to the bedroom at 9pm and he 'played with himself' in bed for 50 minutes then I got a bit 'impatient' and shush him twice in a harsh tone (which I of course felt bad afterwards!) He finally calmed down and fell into sleep at 10:10pm !!

    My concerns are:
    (1) I don't want him to go into sleep after 10pm; but what can I do if he plays in bed for nearly an hour? I don't think I can force a baby to stay still and close his eyes if he is not ready to...
    (2) Is it normal for most babies to have about an hour 'transition time' before actually falling into sleep? Is one hour normal?
    (3) If one hour 'transition time' is normal, does it mean I have to put him to bed by 830 if I want him to fall into sleep by 930? (me & my husband work full time and we get home normally about 8pm so putting him to bed by 830 literally means we have no time spent with him at all!)

    May I ask you ladies, are your bubs like this if you put him/her to bed to let him sleep by himself/herself? How long does he/she take to settle down and go into sleep? Perhaps I am only too impatient and demand a 'perfect sleeper' ~~~ Thanks.
    Last edited by OX Jess; 04-07-2010 at 11:34 PM.

  8. #8
    lesliefu is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    South District
    Posts
    1,055
    my baby did that for a couple weeks...about a month ago when she was just getting over her cold. now she's back to "normal"...I must admit though, that I am more permissive than many parents, so when she "played with herself" for 30mins, I would just take her out of bed and then play with her until she shown signs of being tired...I figured playing with me was better than "playing with herself"...now she is back to sleeping at 9/9:30...it just took a bit of training again, i.e. pushing the bed time forward from (the worst was 11pm) 15mins-30mins each day to get to our "ideal" time.

    I always have my baby girl put herself to sleep, but if she's playing in bed for 30mins with no signs of fatigue, I take her out...don't want her to think of the bed as a play pen, and of course playing with me is MUCH better than by herself! :)

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. How do you put your baby to sleep?
    By katelynBB in forum Sleep and your Baby
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 08-12-2009, 12:19 AM
  2. Help! Baby don't nap and sleep enough
    By Pekkie in forum Sleep and your Baby
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 07-21-2009, 08:27 AM
  3. baby won't sleep
    By joannek in forum Sleep and your Baby
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 01-23-2007, 10:16 PM
  4. Baby does not want to sleep in her cot
    By Har-loi in forum Sleep and your Baby
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 10-24-2006, 02:49 PM
  5. How to get baby to sleep on her own?
    By pkh in forum Sleep and your Baby
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 08-16-2004, 01:02 PM
Scroll to top