Forums  •  Classifieds  •  Events  •  Directory

 

10 month old hitting--what to do?

  1. #1
    carey is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    China
    Posts
    241

    10 month old hitting--what to do?

    My 10 month old start hitting me or the helper if he doesn't get what he wants.

    We first thought it was funny so we laughed it off. But as he does this more often, I thought the best way to deal with it is to show him a serious face and tell him that this is not an acceptable behavior. I know that he probably doesn't understand what I said. But I think he can tell from my tone and my facial expssion.

    I have been trying to make sure my helper and my relatives who are close to him put on the same response when he does this. But they, especially my helper, disagree with me. She said that how would a 10 month old understand anything. She thinks he would stop when he gets older.

    From what I read online, hitting seems to be more a toddler behavior. Well, he is approaching to be one.

    What would you do?

  2. #2
    nicolejoy's Avatar
    nicolejoy is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    North Point
    Posts
    1,751
    I would do exactly what you are doing. Say no, look them in the eye, hold their hands together or something like that. I might even gently touch their face and say "Be gentle"

    My 17 month old has been hitting a bit lately, and I always correct her. I want her to learn that it's NOT acceptable - and if she doesn't learn it from me, where's she going to learn it from? I know that there is a big difference between 10 months and 17 months - but I don't think it's too early to start. I started teaching her at about 11 months "Don't touch" and she did pretty well with it. She hasn't quite learnt "Gentle" though - but we're working on it...

  3. #3
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Sai Kung
    Posts
    6,259
    you are doing it correctly.

    more importantly, EVERYONE MUST do the same (not shouting, emphasising!) tell your helper that this is how you wish to handle it and that she needs to follow the same, regardless if she agrees with you or not.

    i've had to deal with A LOT of hitting in my playgroups lately and what drives me crazy is that so many of the helpers just smile dumbly when they are being pummelled by their charges. to me, this is completely unacceptable. i do not allow hitting in my classes and i end up having to chastise the child AND the helper as they are both in the "wrong" so to speak.

    of course, a 10 month old doesn't understand that hitting is wrong! it is up to YOU to teach him/her that! children don't just one day wake up and "figure it out", they need to be taught. for now, the baby doesn't understand the words necessarily, but WILL understand the tone of voice very well. children don't magically stop bad behaviour one day! it is the parents/caregivers JOB to teach good/correct behaviour.

    if you don't start trying to teach now, it will only be more difficult later...

    good luck!

  4. #4
    LeahH is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Hong Kong, Mid Levels
    Posts
    579
    agree with everyone, at the moment my 13 month old thinks it's hilarious to bite us.

    we started off laughing, but he has some pretty sharp teeth and now everyone takes the same approach. We say no clearly and firmly (coming down to his level and looking at him in the eyes), then put him down and walk away so no more attention.

    No-one likes a 'bitey' kid so best to nip it in the bud now!

  5. #5
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Sai Kung
    Posts
    6,259
    there is a problem with "laughing it off", even the first time. baby DEFINITELY understands laughing and that it is a good thing... when you laugh it off, it becomes a game and THAT is much harder to "break" than if you had responded sternly the first time.

    good luck!

  6. #6
    carey is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    China
    Posts
    241
    Thank you everyone for your response.

    Thank you everyone for your response.

    LeahH, my 10 month old also has very sharp teeth. I have been bitten several times now. I would also try your approach if he does it again.

  7. #7
    Shenzhennifer is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Tsuen Wan
    Posts
    1,288
    I think that although a 10 month old doesn`t intrinsically know that hitting is wrong, he can learn it pretty quickly, based on our response, just like touching the sockets or playing with cords.
    Personally, I adopt a more serious approach for completely unacceptable behaviour. I let my son know in no uncertain terms that he is not to do that(whatever it is). The first time or two may be a bit softer but if it continues then I get sterner. He knows when his mama means business. The only thing with that is that you might need to keep repeating it day after day for awhile as they tend to forget.
    I actually long for the olden days when he was younger and would listen. Now at 14 months he just thinks it`s even funnier. I`m working on a new approach:)

  8. #8
    peainpod is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Mid Levels
    Posts
    375
    Biting, hitting and throwing things on the floor... my two-yr old has been doing this for a few months now. I've been doing the same things - holding his hands firmly, looking him in the eye and telling him no, that it's not okay. The prob is he usually won't look at me (or he'll look away after a second) and often he'll act like it's funny, treating it like a joke and kind of like laughing it off. I'm persisting, but so far, not sure if the msg is getting across... sigh...

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 2
    Last Post: 10-23-2009, 10:23 PM
  2. Hitting and Biting Other Kids
    By Query in forum Parenting - Toddlers and Preschoolers
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 11-15-2008, 03:10 PM
  3. Help! 4 Month Old will NOT nap!
    By cyberfish88 in forum Sleep and your Baby
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 07-17-2008, 04:56 PM
  4. 21 month old in own bed?
    By bekyboo44 in forum Preparing for the Arrival
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 05-12-2008, 10:34 PM
  5. Toddler Hitting
    By Swoon in forum Parenting - Toddlers and Preschoolers
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 12-16-2004, 12:16 PM
Scroll to top