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Shud i change my helper?

  1. #1
    fennho's Avatar
    fennho is offline Registered User
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    Shud i change my helper?

    Hi there

    My helper's contract is coming up soon, and altho we were initially not very satisfied with her (long story), she has proven her trustworthiness . I'm undecided if we want to renew her contract though. She's slow and forgetful. Speaks only Canto (indonesian) as my mom does not speak english and she's the one teaching the helper to cook our meals. I'm tempted to change to a Filipino who speaks english and help with childcare. The one thing that makes us feel like we shud stick with her is her good working attitude. When reprimanded, the very least, she will not show us any black face and continue working. And when we leave home for overseas trip, she takes good care of our dog and the household. So far, no theft. I take care of my own girl myself since i'm a SAHM and she does the cleaning, cooking and ironing only. For her level of "slowness", frankly, i dont feel good leaving her to look aft my kid. But sometimes, i'd wish for a more capable helper who can "relieve" me by babysitting for a bit. Language is also a problem cos she speaks only canto (even then it's out of tune and sometimes incomprehensible) and my girl cant really understand her well let alone play with her.

    Now i'm torn between changing to a more capable helper who can help with my girl or stick with her. I guess my fear of changing stems from the fact of being in a "jumping from a frying pan to the fire" if i ended up with a lousier dodgy helper with an attitude to boost (heard too much horror stories from frens).

    Basically, at the end of the day, it's a torn between

    stupidity (hate to use this word though) and trustworthy VS more capable but risk of dodginess (if i could only find a well rounded super helper!)

  2. #2
    Aava.Wong is offline Registered User
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    oh how i wish we can find that "perfect" helper too! if you can't leave her alone with your kid then i'd say that you should change helpers.

    i can see how you are torn coz i'm having similar issues but then i outweigh the good and the bad. the most important factor is that i can "totally" trust her with my bub. household chores, shopping and etc. - i can handle that myself.

  3. #3
    kerokero is offline Registered User
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    Same here. I have decided to change to another one.

  4. #4
    southside852 is offline Registered User
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    ladies, the perfect helper is out there for you! one who is trustworthy and has common sense :) Yes, the common sense part is a bit harder to find in some of the DHs, but if you already feel torn, then to me that is a sign to switch. No pt in stressing about your current one. Find one who fits well with you and your family!

  5. #5
    City Jammer is offline Registered User
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    I have an Indonesian helper too and I'm changing her. Communication is the biggest issue, among other things. She can't speak or understand English with my husband and I can't understand her Cantonese most of the time. It's been a frustrating 10 months, so we are looking for another helper. I feel that if you can't communicate well with your helper, then you'll still be struggling with the same problems for another two years if you renew her contract.

  6. #6
    lisa88 is offline Registered User
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    Putting things in a positive way, a good helper makes a HUGE difference. Both hubby and I work, our helper is at home full time with baby. Helper gets many things done for baby - takes baby out to play room and playground, prepares good meals, etc. There are good helpers out there, it's really up to you to do the rigorous interviewing to find someone who will work well with your family and needs.

  7. #7
    yuukalim0404 is offline Registered User
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    My helper takes care of our girl while both me and hubby worked full time too. She's good with her,plays and read books to her, cooks our dinner and maintain some household chores. I wish she could fare better on the cleaning front but I am not complaining as my first priority is my baby- which to be fair she is doing a great job! I think good helpers with proactiveness and common sense exist, i do catch her with some white lies from time to time, but its acceptable and nobody's perfect

  8. #8
    lesliefu is offline Registered User
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    if communication is truly a big factor affecting her work and relationship with the family, then I would replace her...but if it only a matter of being slow as such, then I would see if your child is very active and your helper is unable to "catch up" with your daugther when she is "on the loose". my mom's helper is VERY slow and has a hard time "catching" my sister's children, however, she is very hard working, honest, good attitude, and a good cook...so, my parents have renewed her contract. her main job is household. will you continue being a SAHM? how old is your daughter? will she have to bring her to playgroups where she will have to use the language to play with her, or will you do it? or is she at the age where she just has to drop her off at the lessons and wait to bring her home again? i think it all comes down to if communication is really such a big issue and important...there are good helpers out there, but i would strongly suggest that you get recommendations from friends / family / helper you know well....

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