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  1. #9
    zac08 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Clearwater Bay
    if you're a SAHM, i'm not sure why you're not giving him any naps... it's not rocket science - you say your helper is better at it than yourself but you're the mommy, right? bet you're not giving yourself enough credit here.

    and the bedtime routine is CRITICAL to ensuring intimacy is sealed between baby and mommy/parent. i'd simply handle bedtime all on your own (we've also found that if one person handles bedtime instead of 2, it's much less distracting and much easier for baby to get to sleep - more than one adults taking turns would probably stimulate him more than necessary). bedtime is sacred in our household (as it is for most households) and i would never let anyone other than myself or my husband do it with either of our babies (unless of course we are not at home, for whatever reason, which is rare).

  2. #10
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Sai Kung
    for us, bedtime is not "sacred"....sometimes it's my helper that puts the kids to sleep and sometimes it's me. my husband has to walk upto 20 dogs at that time, so it is never him.

    i like that both of us share the time (helper and i) as it means that when i'm not at home, she knows the routine and the kids are used to having her sometimes put them to bed. it's meant that the one time i was out of hk, i knew my kids would be ok for a few nights without me.

    even when my helper has put my two to bed, i often go in and have a cuddle with each of them and a small chat about the day past or the next day...we sometimes sing a lullaby together before we say goodnight to each other.

  3. #11
    fingerscrossed is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Tin Hau
    I understand that every mother who has a carer goes through this at one point or another. Try some mummy and baby time by going out for a stroll in the park or just downstairs without the helper. I used to take my son to Starbucks with me - he'd just lie in his pram while I have my tall latte and I'd talk to him whether he understood me or not.

    Don't worry, kids know who their mothers are.

  4. #12
    ihave3cats is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Hung Hom
    Dun will go. My helper used to take of my gal almost 24/7. She I now 3 years old. She only wants me!! The child knows who his/her mummy is. And they know who the helper is and what her role is. Now my girl look for me when in distress or just wants a hug. But she will hand her emptied drink packet to the helper.

  5. #13
    1stimemum is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    bel air
    at birth, we would have to hold him for 3hrs just walking/rocking him NON stop till he fell asleep. The whole entire time, he would be crying and screaming!!!..

    it only got better at 2 mths done to 1hr of crying and when she took over, it dropped to 15mins! it still takes me twice as long to get him to sleep.

    whilst i would love to do all the naps, i feel that him getting his much needed sleep is more impt than my ego/ pride.

  6. #14
    jvn is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Mid-Levels, Hong Kong
    I have the same feelings sometimes I know how lucky am I to have a) a helper and b) such a fantastic helper that The Boy loves, but I do wonder if he prefers her to me!

    If bedtime is stressful I'm not sure how bonding you would both find it - there's plenty of other ways to bond! On the other hand it is nice to have the flexibility of them not minding who puts them to bed but I'm sure you realise that every Sunday ;-)

    I'm sure the bedtime thing will work itself out so make some mummy and baby time you both enjoy and try not to worry about it - what works for one family doesn't always work for another.

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