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how long was the crying when CIO first used?

  1. #1
    1stimemum is offline Registered User
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    how long was the crying when CIO first used?

    To all mums who have used CIO/ Extinction methods, what was the longest your bubb cried on the 1st night?

    I'm about to start CIO in a few weeks and would like to prepare myself mentally. I've tried letting him cry by himself once 2 nights ago and he cried for 1.5hrs and I gave up at that point and rocked him to sleep. I stopped after the 1st night and will try again but this time I need to see it through or else its not fair to him.

    Was there any baby that cried for longer than 2 hrs?

    My son is 4 mths now and I feel I will have a bigger problem down the road if I dont take action now. He's being carried/ rocked to sleep with a pacifier and yes I will have to go cold turkey with the pacifier as well.

    He sleeps well through the night right now from 8ish - 6 but it can be 1 hour/more of holding before he's finally asleep. really settled.

  2. #2
    hbw10 is offline Registered User
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    we didn't do CIO until our son was around 7 months. We personally felt before 6 months was too early. The longest my son cried for then was about 45 mins to 1 hour before putting himself to sleep. It took about 4-5 days. The 2nd night was 45 minutes and the 3rd night was 30 minutes etc...

    We've recently had do use it again with our now 2 yr old in his big bed and he cried for about 1.5 hours before returning to his bed. I was tempted to go in after an hour, but then what's the pt - i would still be perpetuating the cycle. After an hour, what's another half hr? After the first night, he then only cried for 45 minutes, the 3rd night was 20 mins and the 4th night was nothing.

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    carang is offline Registered User
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    i think that 4 months is just too young for crying it out.

    i would not use that until 8-10 months, myself.

    4 months is still too new.... BUT by 8-10 months, baby understands that just because they can't see you doesn't mean you aren't there. at 4 months they don't understand this concept yet.

    the other thing is: once the baby is older, if you decide to do it you MUST stick with it... if you let baby/child cry for 1.5 hrs, then go in and cuddle... you have just successfully taught baby that he just needs to cry LONGER and you will come.

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    StareBear is offline Registered User
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    While it may be too young to CIO I don't think it is too young to teach your baby to self settle. There are lots of methods to do this that still allow you to comfort your baby without leaving them to cry it out. The key for me was learning to understand my baby's different cries. I never left her to cry if she was crying a really consistent "wet" cry but if it was just a "I don't want to go to sleep" protesting cry then I could leave her and inevitably it never took longer than 15 mins for her to go to sleep.
    But I do think you need your baby to be on some kind of routine before trying this so that you know that she is well fed and not overtired. I used Save Our Sleep by Tizzie Hall as a guide, but I didn't follow it to the letter, and it worked for me. My daughter was 10 weeks old when I started and it took two days and not much crying at all to have her self settling.

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    zac08 is offline Registered User
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    when my second son turned 4 months, i couldn't WAIT to start using CIO to get him to sleep better (with our first son we waited til he was 8 months and it worked well - it only took a few days and i think he only ever cried for an hour at the most). but with #2, once i did let him CIO at about 4 months, i realized that he was too young and i also realized what 'too young to CIO' means. when they are 4 months old , they aren't fully capable of rolling over both ways very easily so when they cry for an hour (or more!), it becomes very uncomfortable for them because their sinuses clog up and they literally get worked up to a point where they cannot breathe - it is really uncomfortable because they are too small to know how to maneuver and arrange themselves in a more comfy way when they cry - they physically can't get into the right positions easily. when they are 6+ months, they become much more mobile and when they CIO it is not as torturous for them. i suddenly realized after watching my then 4 month old cry for over 20 minutes that i had to wait - he was just too young and it was painful for both of us. so i only let him cry for 10 minutes at a time. after each 10 minute interval, i'd cuddle him, calm him down so that he never got to a hysterical stage. that worked for a while but then he relapsed again. so he's still not a great sleeper (he's 5.5 months old now) but i am more and more confident that were i to let him cry cold turkey he'd be much more able to handle it. so if things don't improve in the next month or too i'd probably try CIO cold turkey on the little guy.

  6. #6
    southside852 is offline Registered User
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    like the above posters mentioned, we did not do CIO until 8/9 months. at 4 months, we were still figuring out everything and I felt my son wasn't strong enough and like carang mentioned, didn't understand that just b/c you didn't see mommy, doesn't mean she's not there. I definitely would not begin it before 6 months.

    it's key that you stick with it for at least 10 days to see any results. Letting your baby cry for an hour, then going in to hold them defeats the purpose of CIO and just leaves you even more tired and drained. you are then left to start from scratch the next day since nothing was accomplished the night before.

  7. #7
    1stimemum is offline Registered User
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    starebear, he's currently on a rough 4hr feed routine, play and then i try to let him know its naptime by making the room slightly darker, singing calming lullabies cuddle and put him in bed.....doesnt work, he just starts crying and i know it has nothing to do with pain/ hunger/ discomfort.

    so i'm stuck lugging all 7kgs of him for 30-90mins...
    if I dont start now, will i be re-enforcing the bad habits?

    southside, i will definitely have to see it through when i do start again. Yes i know, it was a horrible night for us all.
    Have to steel myself for it.

    I might push it to 5 mths and start then.

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    StareBear is offline Registered User
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    do you mean 4 hours awake or 4 hours between feeds? At that age, my daughter would do 2 hours awake and then 2 hours asleep for most the day with a longer awake period (3-7) in the afternoon before a 7pm bedtime. If I had her awake for more than 2 hours it was very hard to get her to self settle as she was overtired by then.

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