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getting dad involved

  1. #9
    steflee23 is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Hong Kong

    I think practice is what a lot of husbands need and encouragement, I feel that whenever they are insecure n prefer to pass baby/child to mum try to let them deal with the situation. Once they deal with it n know they can, then let them have baby for 30 mins/1 hr. Over time, they can be responsible to take child out on their own for short periods. More often than not, dealing with a baby is all about learning on the job, we as mums do (some instinctively/some not), but we get there in the end, no reason why dads cannot unless of cos we give them the excuse to. Men often also need words of praise & encouragement that they are doing a good job, then they'll be happy to put more effort in. Lastly, I think constant interaction with baby is key, perhaps have the husband do the night feed, or early morning wake up call & nappy changing duties, bedtime stories etc (obviously as much as possible during the week) & then on weekends, I try to do all the tasks, like prepare the food/pack etc. and let husband watch baby the whole time, play with baby etc. In fact, I think my daughter now associates daddy with fun, despite me being a SAHM. Good luck!

  2. #10
    Sleuth is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Fo Tan

    I will admit that when our first son came along, I had no idea what to do with the baby boy. Really was never a big fan of babies in general. So it was hard in the beginning, but certainly not for months. I think what helped me was that my wife would go work out when I returned home from work so I was "stuck" with the baby for an hour or two a few nights per week. And, you know what, the baby depends on you and you do want the baby to be happy so you do lots of goofy things trying to keep the baby happy. One thing leads to another and then you are "playing". You have to learn to feed the baby, change the diapers, etc... Soon you are a "daddy" and not the male stranger in the house.
    Practice makes perfect and playing with the baby beats watching TV or surfing the internet. Beside, when the baby grows up, you can watch the TV and internet together--but maybe not if you ignore the "baby" until the "baby" is ten.
    I agree with a lot of the others that it is not necessarily a case of not wanting to, but not knowing how. Most men did not grow up playing with dolls, pretending to be a daddy, etc... So it is strange, uncharted territory. And all things strange are best left alone, especially if mommy is going to do it all anyway.

    Last edited by Sleuth; 05-25-2010 at 01:04 PM.

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