Pregnancy involvement damages dads' confidence
- 06-02-2010, 10:56 AM #9Registered User
- Join Date
- Jan 2010
- Yau Ma Tei
Hehe my husband said 'Idiot!' when he read it ;)
- 06-02-2010, 11:08 AM #10Registered User
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Mid-Levels, Hong Kong
I could actually follow an argument that prenatal classes are not *the best* way to involve many fathers i.e. that for many fathers some sort of powerpoint presentation which at no point names any parts of the body and is liberally scattered with sports analogies would be *best* but to seriously suggest the only other solution to dads feeling mildly uncomfortable is for them not to bother is ridiculous.
- 06-02-2010, 02:05 PM #11
I agree with jvn - I can see partly where they are coming from. I know that my husband did feel very "helpless" throughout my pregnancies, through the antenatal classes and in delivery. I don't think that's uncommon at all - but the solution isn't "therefore they would feel better by not being involved at all" - we need to give our husbands something that they can actively do that will help. I know when I was in labour, my husband was freaking out a bit - although putting on a brave face - and I managed to convey to him that if he helped me by counting through my pushes, it'd really help. And so he had something small that he COULD do that really DID make a difference. I think that helped him to feel less powerless.
I do think that wives should also acknowledge their husbands insecurities about the whole process - because they are real (or maybe my hubby was just a bit more of a baby about it all) - but when we acknowledge it, we tell them that we're on the same side as them - and we can actually empower them to overcome it too :) Because the solution is not to put more distance between men and pregnancy - the solution is to address their fears but then move on from it. But don't force them to cut the umbilical cord if they don't want to ;)
- 06-02-2010, 03:36 PM #12Registered User
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Hong Kong
Wow, I can't believe someone paid for that research! I believe it's an individual and possibly cultural thing. My husband was at the birth and he is closer to me and our baby because of it!
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