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Am I too demanding??

  1. #25
    zac08 is offline Registered User
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    totally agree with Jane01 and other posters regarding how important night sleep is for anyone taking care of kids. i am not working (yet) so i can't comment (i take care of my children completely during the nights), but here is a suggestion - a few friends of mine here do this: simply, alternate nights. say, sundays you take night duty, tuesdays one of your helpers, wednesdays your other helper (if you have another), thursdays your husband if he is willing, and so on and so forth. that way, everyone gets a break and everyone chips in during the nights. you may feel entitled to a full night's rest every night because you are working but honestly i can tell you as a SAHM taking care of young kids during the day (not to mention housework, etc) is a lot of WORK and possibly the most important work one can do!

    yes you are demanding too much if you expect your helper(s) to take over day and night duties every day. yes you should change helpers probably but it won't be easy finding one who is able to both manage the household during the day AND tend to the kids at nights and if you do she may not last long once she realizes how tiring a job it is.

  2. #26
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    Gataloca is offline Registered User
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    Your twins are not babies anymore... They are toddlers. Why don't you try to train them to sooth themselves instead of relying on the helper at night? I think you may try this first. It may be part of the solution to your problems.

  3. #27
    TwinsMom is offline Registered User
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    Carang - I am welcome for all the comments (funny that you are kind of offensive, take it easy please, it is just a thread for a friendly discussion...), just want to consolidate comments and give myself an adjustment.

    Thank you & understood. In conclusion - I am too demanding, will try to find a solution for my helper. Sometime I will also wake up and see what happened when i hear the baby cry in the middle of the night, but baby likes to stick with my helper coz she get used to have her while she crys, even I tried to carry her back to sleep, she will cry even louder until I pass her back to my maid... Should I insist to carry her for few nights? and see if she is ok?

    Does all the working parents will take care of their toddlers at night time even they have a helper? And how can you manage your work at daytime?

  4. #28
    TheQuasimother is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by TwinsMom View Post
    Does all the working parents will take care of their toddlers at night time even they have a helper? And how can you manage your work at daytime?
    Yes I do - With two cups of coffee or tea a day (One a day now that I'm pregnant with No. 2). My helper is not responsible for my child the minute I walk through the door unless I am downright exhausted or have a had a difficult day at work and need time out. I try to get home by 6 p.m. everyday. I get two hours with him every working day. At night, either my husband or I will get up. I find it far more effective if I got up as I'm a light sleeper and am quick to nip the problem in the bud. With my husband, my child whinges more, cries more, asks for more. With me, it's just no-nonsense and our child from very young knows this. So I get to sleep again lots faster!

    Where I'm from, working mums don't have the luxury of helpers. They pick the kids up from creche at the end of the work day and still have to make dinner and tidy up and spend time with their children. So, I try not to think about how hard it is but think about how much easier it is than if I were back home.
    Last edited by TheQuasimother; 06-09-2010 at 03:14 PM.
    “If you want to get to the castle, you’ve got to swim the moat.” Richard Jenkins in Eat Pray Love

  5. #29
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    carang is offline Registered User
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    i'm sorry you found my honest answers to be offensive.

    to answer your last question:

    I woke up with both of my children... only in the past 6 months has my daughter slept through (she's almost 3.5 yrs old). I run my own business and work about 60 hours/week, luckily some of it is from home.

    the ONLY time my helper assisted with nights was for about a month (and even then we three alternated, mum, dad & helper) right after my daughter was born. she helped IF my son woke up because of the crying newborn.

  6. #30
    asdasd is offline Registered User
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    (Does all the working parents will take care of their toddlers at night time even they have a helper? And how can you manage your work at daytime?)

    Most parents in Britain need to work and look after children on their own without any help from grannies or helpers, you just get on with what you have.

    from day 1 we realised I was pregnant, mentally we were ready not to have sleep when our baby is here. I suppose looking after children is the job all parents do.

    If you need to work during the day and pass the baby to your helpers during the night, is there any bonding between you and the twins?

  7. #31
    asdasd is offline Registered User
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    forgot to say, yes you are demanding.

  8. #32
    zac08 is offline Registered User
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    "And how can you manage your work at daytime?"

    to answer your last question, how do you expect your helper to manage HER work during the day??? especially since her main task involves something as critical as looking after your kids??

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