13 months old gets overly attached
- 07-07-2010, 06:08 PM #9Registered User
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
- South District
my 22mth old just started it, think it is because of baby #2..she never wanted me to carry her - what i do is just distract her and ignore her when she whines/ cries when she wants me to carry her. i always make an effort to carry her when she is "good" and tell her that "good girl - you're not crying so mommy will carry you" sort of thing so I'm not totally unreachable in that sense. it is a phase and will pass like the others have said - just hard sometimes to ignore the cries...but, if you give in, the crying will mean that crying works and it will happen more consistently when your baby wants something (object or person)...so you have to stick with it no matter how hard - easier said than done, I'm struggling to be consistent myself!
- 07-07-2010, 06:10 PM #10Registered User
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Tuen Mun, Hong Kong
He is not yet walking properly - he can manage about 5-6 steps and walks ok by hanging onto the wall. The reason I carry him is mostly because he demands it or simply cries. I guess, some of you have rightly put, I have reinforced him to continue this behaviour as whenever he cries for mummy, mummy is right there for him... OK, I will try to take nicolejoy's idea... and see how it goes... As for husband, carang, I guess my husband knows that my son wants mummy doesn't mean he doesn't love his daddy... but he cannot hide his frustration over being rejected by his son. I told him more than a dozen times, "Don't worry, once the son is able to run and play, he will get very attached to you...All boys love his daddy!!!" Last night my son completely rejected him and he sat on the sofa and didn't want to say a word for a whole night!!! Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining about his behaviour... I actually can 'feel' for him but I simply cannot change the situation overnight... (Sigh!)
- 07-07-2010, 07:26 PM #11
the thing is, jess, that your child is going to continue to want things as he grows up. eventually you are going to have to say no and he is going to cry and fuss and scream etc. you need to get used to it and learn how to deal with it now instead of in a year or two when it gets really bad.
i believe that kids need to learn this at an early age. it makes life so much easier in the future. i can take my two kids to the toy shop and they can handle it when i say "no" to their requests for things. i think it is because we dealt with that very early in their lives. they know that it doesn't mean i don't love them or that they will never get what they want, but in our case, they need to "earn" it. (not love and affection, i'm talking material things.)
i shower my kids with hugs and ****es and they know they are loved. but i'm not afraid of a few tears along the way. it's to be expected. if i set a rule, i NEVER give in! even if it meant life would be so much easier. my kids say "please" and "thank you" to EVERYONE. otherwise, i take away whatever was given. etc.
it's part and parcel of teaching manners.... as is the carrying thing. as your son is not completely walking yet, it will make a difference...but remember, if you are carrying him everywhere, there's no need for him to walk... you need to teach him about time/place/appropriateness (ie. it's NOT appropriate to carry him into the bathroom, maybe? i can't say for sure as we were a "door open" house when kids were little).
anyway... good luck! i'm sure you'll all get through it. as for hubby, it's just jealousy... and a little childish for him to take it out on you...my 2cents.
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