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Feeling fat and ugly after baby

  1. #1
    NewMommie is offline Registered User
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    Feeling fat and ugly after baby

    This is a half vent, half question...

    I had a baby more than a few months ago, and I still have a bit of a cross between a lower pouch and a pot belly. I didn't wear the support girdle, as I was tired enough trying to BF round the clock and never sleeping, and although I've been trying to eat healthier and get as much exercise as possible (not a lot), I have pretty much stayed at a weight 15% higher than my original weight. I'm back at work now.

    Vent part: Why is it that the media portrays getting back to pre-baby weight as somehow the height of maternal competence? As if we didn't have enough to worry about, fitting back into some unrealistic standard of beauty just months after having a baby is unnatural. I myself just assumed that I would only have to BF and somehow I would just tighten back up, because that is what everyone says. I feel fat and unattractive, and it doesn't feel like there is any understanding from any of my peers as to why I didn't just 'bounce-back' - this is particularly true in this city where you have so many perpetual singles and skinny women (personally I think many are anorexic). I wouldn't feel so bad if society just portrayed a more realistic standard of post-baby body image. Back at work no less than 4 of my female colleagues have mentioned to me that I just need to "start dieting and exercising" as if it is just that easy and I'm a lazy incompetent person.

    Advice part: How long after you gave birth did you go back to 'normal', if at all? Does the lower belly pouch get better, or is it the mark of giving birth? Do I really just need to start doing enormous amount of cardio? I just want to set my own expectations. Also, I personally don't think my usual 'diet and exercise' is working at all...is there a reason why my body doesn't react to these as it used to?

    Thanks...

  2. #2
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    i gave birth 5.5 & 3.5 years ago and am still not back to previous weight.

    tomorrow, i have an appointment at CURVES, a gym ONLY for women. their tailored workout is only 30 minutes and it REALLY works!

    how do i know? my mother joined in February. by ONLY going to the gym 6X/week for 30 minutes, in the first month, she lost 9.5lbs. the second month, 7.5lbs.... total overall since the end of Feb? over 25lbs!

  3. #3
    Frenchy is offline Registered User
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    I was back to my previous weight, and even a little bit under, 2 years after my son's birth, without doing nothing.... I guess that if I had some time to go to the gym, it would have been quicker, but we were planning for a second child, and didn't mind too much about my belly.
    I'd be happy after my second child birth (i'm 9 months pregnant now) if I go back to my previous weight, and will wait for the breastfeeding part to be finished to take care of myself (gym and dieting if necessary).
    But somewhere I don't really mind what people think of my body, it's me being a mum, and I'm not ashamed of being a little bit fatter, it just remembers me every days how happy I am to have my son and soon a baby girl.

  4. #4
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    exactly... anyone makes a comment, i'd slap them silly! it's none of their damned business if you are a little bit bigger... you just produced another human being for goodness' sake!

  5. #5
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    nicolejoy is offline Registered User
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    I went back to my pre-pregnancy WEIGHT very quickly (I think about 2 months after my baby was born) but I never did have the same figure... The belly was always pouchy after childbirth, things were stretched that used to be nice and toned looking. I fit into most of the same clothes but they didn't look the same as they used to. I think it's unrealistic to think that anything will get you looking the same as you did originally - sad but true... just wanted to add another perspective ;)

  6. #6
    wenyihsu is offline Registered User
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    With my first, I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight 2 years after giving birth. But then again, I didn't really try hard to lose all the weight. I had lost majority of the weight through breastfeeding but the tummy pouch was definitely there. It wasn't until I started exercising did I start dropping the extra couple of pounds. And once the extra weight went, my tummy went back to what it was before. This time around (I gave birth about 5 months ago), I'm more determined to get back to my original form since I'm done having kids and I'd just like to be healthier. I started exercising when my 2nd was 3 months old - just twice a week. I'm not eating all too differently as I'm still breastfeeding. I think I still have about 6-8 pounds more to go but I can't be certain as I really haven't stepped on the scale. That's really my way of making sure I don't put too much pressure on myself. I know I'm losing weight gradually just based on how clothes fit on me and that makes me happy enough. I don't plan on doing anything drastic until I've weaned from breastfeeding.

  7. #7
    plumtree is offline Registered User
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    After 2 children (now 2.5 yrs and 9 mths), I'm pretty much resigned never to get back to my pre-pregnancy shape. I say shape because though I'm guessing that my weight may be approximately the same, your body shape changes and I still haven't lost the tummy pouch. I only really started to lose weight after stopping BF though. One thing that I have done is to join a gym and go once a week with a trainer. I don't really think it's helped me to lose weight but it's certainly helped me feel stronger and feel happy that I can do more with my body.

    Those HK comments can be really annoying but speaking personally, I guess it helps that I've never been super skinny and I get pleasure from how strong/fit I am than how skinny I am.

    And BTW, I have a HUGE baby, and the trainer said my upper body strength is really good. So there are *some* fitness benefits to being a mother ;-)

  8. #8
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    solidstars is offline Registered User
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    i'm definitely pouchy and my son's now 15 mths old. i haven't thought about dieting or gym yet as i BF and i didn't want anything to affect that yet...

    plus i enjoy being a mom too much to care about what people think about my weight, usually i tell people to have their old child first and then talk to me about 'weight'.

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