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About to give up on breastfeeding

  1. #9
    Shenzhennifer is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Tsuen Wan

    Yes, breastfeeding was unexpected difficult for sure!! I remember around the 2-3 week mark it was pure agony for me, with the nipple pain, wondering if baby was getting enough, if I had enough, and the exhaustion of it all. After each feed I would pump whatever I could, in effort to build my milk supply up enough. It actually ended up creating an oversupply, which made new problems later, but...

    The only other thing besides my personal determination that kept me going was learning that it took 6 weeks or so to get off the ground.

    From your post, it sounds like you are super exhausted and frustrated and unsure of yourself. I would suggest not making any rash decisions at this time, especially if you are really dedicated to the idea of breastfeeding your baby. Since BF is supply and demand, the more your baby feeds directly from your breast, the more milk you will make, though sometimes(like during growth spurts) it takes a day or 2 for your body to catch up and feels like you are totally dried up. So if you continue to supplement with formula, that one less milk feed your body is preparing for later. It can become a downward spiral and spell the end of breastfeeding within months. I have heard this story from many women.

    The first month after birth is pretty full on. It feels like there is nothing else - just the endless cycle of feeding, burping, changing, sleeping, etc etc etc. Can make you feel a bit crazy. But if you are really interested to continue breastfeeding, I would suggest that you keep at it, and just lose yourself in the cycles and respond to your baby`s hunger needs as he has them. I don`t think you should worry about waking him up. And if he`s hungry 1 hr later, he goes back on the breast. This is you and your baby`s time to get in sync and get to know each other.

    It`s tiring, yes, but it does change, it does get better.
    It sounds like you are doing a great job. Maybe you can think about taking away his supplements for a week(it will take your body a day or 2 to adjust and produce more milk) and see how it goes.
    You can do it!

  2. #10
    lesliefu is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    South District

    don't give up! nobody ever tells you how hard it is - but it is definitely worth it, especially in the middle of the much easier than making formula! my husband hasn't done any of the midnight feedings cause it's so easy to breast feed (once you get the hang of it - I promise you it will come!) i breast feed and watch TV at the same time to relax - you've got to relax and keep your mind off it since the pressure will affect your milk supply. good luck and keep with it!:)

  3. #11
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Sai Kung

    just wanted to add one thing:

    if you REALLY want to quit, then quit. you will NOT be/ARE NOT a bad mother if you choose to formula feed. please, only follow all of our advice if you TRULY want to breastfeed.

    it is equally important that everyone is on the same page, that you are getting enough rest and that you are comfortable with your decision.

    also, remember that if you are feeling a little down or even depressed, you should seek help IMMEDIATELY. PPD is not a laughing matter.

  4. #12
    Gataloca's Avatar
    Gataloca is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2010

    Thanks a lot for your advices. The reason I've been waking up the baby is because he would sleep for more than 4 or 5 hours in a row, even at day time. He would then wake up over hungry and feed for long time, even like 2 hours, after which he would be overtired and cry until we top up with formula. At least this has happened when we first came home. According to pediatrician, a bf baby should eat every 2 1/2 to 3 hours, so we didn't think eating every 5 or 6 hours was appropriate, and ended up waking him every 4 hours if he doesn't wake up on his own. Also thought that getting sucked only every 5 or 6 hours may not be good for building my milk supply.

    My concern is not really the weight gain or the wet/soiled diapers (he pops and pees on every feed). The problem is that he never settle down, unless he is full.... and that has been hard since yesterday. Don't know if it is just a growth spurt, since my baby is just 2 week old, but he has been crying a lot, asking for milk.... he has refused the pacifier, so I guess it is not just sucking needs. It has been harder to put him to sleep also. He would wake up and cry and cry.. then his little head would turn to one side, showing sign of hunger :-(

    I have been putting him on my breast a lot since yesterday, and putting him on his bed when he falls asleep.... but I am also afraid that he may get accustomed to this treatment, and eventually become over attached to me and would seek conform on my breast for everything.

    Sorry for all the doubts, but I am a first time mum.... and yes, I am a little bit depressed.... My parents are here for 3 months to "help me" with the baby, but they have turned into a nightmare, and are driving us crazy. I have pressure coming from my parents, my husband, and the baby....

    Also, I don't want to give up on giving my baby breast milk.... but I was considering some other methods, like expressing..... but heard that pumping up may eventually dry up my milk supply...

    Last edited by Gataloca; 07-28-2010 at 01:28 PM.

  5. #13
    shuchisingh is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Hong Kong

    Hi Gataloca,

    gosh you remind me of mt first days as a mom... the only difference is my husband and family were just lovely and a big help.

    everything you are feeling or thinking is completely normal. i agree with everyone here - LLL would be a great help. also, try reading something like dr. spock - it was alomost a bible for us. very non-judgemental and informative.

    all the best !

  6. #14
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Sai Kung

    PLEASE, call LLL.... they will help you.

    if your parents are not helping, maybe send them to china for a "break" or even macau for a weekend without them?

    forget what EVERYONE else is telling you that you should be doing. YOU are the baby's mother, if you can take the time to listen to your baby without everyone else's interference, your mothering instincts will kick in. baby's WILL NOT let themselves starve. your baby WILL TELL YOU when he's hungry. YOU need to have faith in yourself and your abilities to care for him.

    we are here if you need a shoulder to cry on.

  7. #15
    wenyihsu is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Aug 2007

    Hang in there! Breastfeeding is VERY tough. And no one can warn you enough about what you will be going through but like everyone else has said, it does get better and easier. But if you decide to supplement with formula or quit all together, that's fine too. It is important to provide for your baby as best as you can, but you also need to make sure that you are happy, not stressing too much and able to enjoy motherhood. For my 1st, I exclusively breastfed for 6 months. For my 2nd, I only breastfed her for 2 weeks and then ended up pumping everything out and just feed her from a bottle. She is the most horrible eater - every feed would take at least 1 hour. And then on top of which I was hardly spending with my 1st since I was constantly feeding. Anyways, so I made the decision that I would just pump everything out and since we have help at home, they can help me feed my 2nd if I was in the middle of something with my 1st. Anyways, to make a long story short, it is completely doable if you decide you want to exclusively express. In the beginning I was pumping 8 times a day to build up my milk supply and once my supply was very consistent, I very gradually dropped down to pumping 4 times a day - and I was producing more than she was eating so I was able to build up a freezer stash. I just recently weaned (2nd is turning 6 months in 2 weeks) and it was a very conscience decision to stop so I had to gradually drop pumps. I have enough breastmilk in the freezer to last her another 3-4 weeks. Anyways, if you are interested in exclusively expressing, send me a PM. I can share my experience with you in more detail. But I do want to warn you - expressing is not easy also!

  8. #16
    oi0io is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2010

    If your baby is sleeping a 6 hour stretch, then you should be pumping every 2 hours during his resting period so that you can keep building your milk supply. To me it was way too tiring to pump every 2 hours and I gave up. For a the first 2 months, I only had enough milk to satisfy my baby in the morning when the breasts are at its fullest. After his morning feed, I gave him formula the rest of the day. At least he would still have some benefits of breast milk and at least I know he'll be full from formula the rest of the day. Now my baby is exclusively formula fed.

    I would love to have exclusively breastfed my baby, unfortunately I just didn't have enough milk to satisfy my baby even when I drank fish soup, lots of water and ate oatmeal.

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