About to give up on breastfeeding
- 07-29-2010, 01:27 AM #17
you didn't have enough milk to feed your baby BECAUSE you gave your baby formula. i am in no way knocking women who decide to give formula for whatever reason... that is up to them and none of my business. but if you say you didn't have enough milk, it's because you gave formula. once your milk is established, then your breasts shouldn't feel full...
i was very lucky. i produced so much milk it was sometimes like scenes from a comedy... milk squirting, literally, across the room if baby became unlatched as i was experiencing "let-down"! the number of times i had to give the baby a bath after a feed because they'd been covered in milk... in the hair, up the nose, in the eyes, even in the ears! LOL!
i even experienced let-downs when MY DOG cried or whined! LOL! an ddon't get me started on the difficulty of staying clean while getting out of the shower!
what i'm trying to say, is that each of us have/had our own issues. you shouldn't feel pressure one way or the other. often, i think the biggest pressure comes from ourselves! we do all this reading that says, "breast is best" and while it is most likely better for baby, it's not always better for the family or for mum's sanity.
you've got a myriad of shoulders to cry on here if you need it!
- 07-29-2010, 08:48 AM #18Registered User
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Mid-Levels, Hong Kong
I would agree with other posters, if parents aren't helpful then thank them for all their help and try to send them away for a break.
We couldn't get bf established and I expressed for nearly seven months, it was tough in the beginning, pumping every two hours to get the milk supply but after a while that dropped to about 4 times a day - just wanted to say it is possible to pump and have the milk supply BUT it's the worst of all worlds as you don't get the experience of bf or the comparative convenience of formula - hey ho, it was my decision.
Just to reiterate, we've all been there in those early days, unsure and not really knowing what's going on but you know your baby best, not your paediatrician. My baby slept for 10 hours through the first day home from the hospital and I wondered whether to wake him, I didn't and he established a pattern of sleeping around 7 or 8 hours every night, it really didn't do him any harm, if you are sure that You want to wake him then that's fine but don't do it because someone else told you to.
Really don't worry about bad habits now like feeding to sleep - it's still such early days, get to know each other and find out what works for both of you then you can worry about stuff like that, it's just adding extra pressure you don't need. My experience is that you won't need to worry about things like that becoming really hard to break until they are six months plus... so not something to even think about now.
And again, like the other posters, bf takes time and effort and will not work so well and may not work at all if you supplement with formula, my friends who did get bf established said that it took up to a couple of months to get the hang of it and a couple more months to really start enjoying it and finding it 'easy'. Everybody is different but don't expect too much of yourself. And, yes, plenty of babies do just fine on formula if that is what you need to do - it doesn't make you a bad mum.
Best of luck - trust yourself and your instinct, you will know what is best for you and your baby.
- 07-29-2010, 09:09 AM #19Registered User
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Hong Kong
Don't give up. You're still in the early days and your body is still establishing the milk for your baby. If your baby is sleeping in long stretches, make sure you're either pumping or feeding every 3 hours so your body knows that it needs to make milk. Once your milk is established though, it will get easier! Call LLL or even Hulda from Annerley or Yvonne Heavyside of FamilyZone. They will come to your house and help you out and answer any questions. This is the time where your body is trying to figure out how much baby needs. Your baby suckling signals your body to make more milk. My baby is not 7 months old and mostly breastfed. We just started to introduce some formula in the evening top-up feed at 6 months, but I'm still pumping at night and if I'm at work.
- 07-29-2010, 10:46 AM #20Registered User
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
Another great thread. I will print it out for my reference later.
It looks like your experience is similar to many mothers who posted here. It sounded just like mine. I gave birth to my first at the Union and they encourage mix-feeding there. Not that there was anything wrong with it. I wish there was someone there to tell me how hard it was to get breastfeeding established. Well, I probably would not have taken it to my heart until I was in it and knowing how hard it was.
All my helpers (confinement lady, aunt and parents) pressure me to supplement formula. Like several mothers here, I resolved it to exclusive pumping in the end. It does work. I pump till my bud was 7 month old. My OB told me that pumping would not produce enough but she was wrong in this case. I pumped every two hours during the day and two times in the night. I lost lots of weigh and hair (don’t think it's to do with pumping, but it grew back later) during that first 7 month. Once I stopped, I was my normal self again.
I think my experience of trying to Bf and pumping comes down to:
* it does take 4 to 6 weeks to establish supply. sucking or pumping increase supply.
* I would not worry about getting used to fall asleep om the breast like one mother mentioned. I slept trained my son when he was 7 month. He doesn't need aid (dummy) to fall asleep now
* I could be wrong, but if you worry that baby sleeping 6 hours and not sucking would reduce your supple, I would pump one to two times for 10 minutes each side to build it up.
* the Sarah from LLL gave me lots of support through email and on the phone. Like many suggests here, they are very helpful.
* I would only get helpers who would listen to my instruction when I become to a second time mother. My first helper (a confinement lady was very domineering and never had experience with mother who wants to bf)
I wish I could give you more suggestions. But I know that when fatigue, frustration and agony set it I might not be able to bf exclusively either for my second one. If not, I would just go with pumping too so that I can have time with my first when some mothers suggested here.
Good luck and please keep us posted.
- 07-29-2010, 11:51 AM #21
Thanks a lot all for your answers!... but I did it again last night :-(
I was letting my baby suck anytime he wanted during the day time, but it seems that my milk supply is quite low during night time. After his bath, I let him suck and suck until he felt asleep. I tried to put him on his bed, but then he would wake up and cry for more milk. I would let him suck again until he falls asleep again, but he would again wake up later... When it was like 12:30am, I was going to let him suck again when he refused my breasts. He was just crying and crying his lungs out, and would not latch. I gave up and gave him formula, and he drank 60ml, after which he let me put him on the bed and felt asleep on his own....... He slept till 5:45AM this morning.
.... definitely going to call LLL ...
- 07-29-2010, 02:09 PM #22Registered User
- Join Date
- Mar 2005
- Hong Kong
hmm.. maybe it's not the amount of time he's sucking.
i also did exclusive pumping for 10 mths for both of mine. To get supply established here's what I did. Paed suggested not to go exclusive pumping so soon, what I did was, when he's crying for milk, which was on the dot every 3 hours, i put him on breast first, watch the clock for 20 min, 10 min each side (I have inverted nipples and it's very difficult to latch and takes a lot of effort on his part). then he comes off and get the rest from the bottle right away (expressed or powder), so I still get the stimulation, but even if he's having trouble getting enough milk off the breast, he'll still be full. and when he's drinking off the bottle, I go pump to empty out my breasts.
I did that for about 6 weeks until I'm more confident that I get enough supply without putting him to breast and yes, then the number of pumps reduces, as other posters has said.
It's double the work, but it did work for me for what I wanted. It's hard work for the baby as well, imagine sucking and sucking for hours, maybe he's getting frustrated too. I had similar issues, coz I have plenty of supply, but might be a latch problem or other issues that's making it more difficult to get milk out.
That was for No. 2, I went through all the emotions and confusions you have for No. 1, so i knew exactly what I wanted to do for No. 2. Just my 2 cents in case it helps..
- 07-30-2010, 12:57 AM #23Registered User
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
- South District
one thing that I think helps with my supply is more sleep - am trying to improve on my supply myself! it's hard but if that's what you want...try to hang in there...on days that I am really tired, i just give formula and I don't feel bad about it!
- 07-30-2010, 03:19 PM #24Registered User
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
- Kowloon Station
Maybe this is obvious but remember to freeze the milk that you store up from pumping when your baby is sleeping for 6 hours. If you try to pump every 2 hours or 3 or whatever while he is sleeping, then you will definitely get enough to freeze at least the 60ml you fed him the other night, for example. And that way when he is hungry next time, after trying to feed him directly, you give him your own expressed milk, so technically you are exclusively BFing! (if that is what you are going for, of course).
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