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Meals for helper

  1. #1
    ihave3cats is offline Registered User
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    Meals for helper

    I need advice from all mummy with helpers here!
    I have a helper whom we had for 4 months. She is definately not fantastic. She does mainly cleaning. Can't help with neither cooking nor kids (I have 2! Age: 3 & 4)
    for weekdays I will cook and make our portion bigger to accomodate her. However during weekend, my family will always go out for meals. My helper will buy food outside. Initially she bought reasonable priced lunch, abt $20. After sometime, she 'upgraded' her meals to $30 and recently to abt $40. When I told her that she can cook her meals at home instead of buying outside, she told me that she doesn't know how to cook. She got so used to buying outside that she will just take money from the purse (for buying grocery) to buy her meals when she sees that there is no left overs in the fridge.

    I am getting quite pissed off by her doings. I want to tell her not to do it again and I wantto find out how other families deal with meal arrangement. I understand that if I dun provide food, I can just give helper $740? Does that work?

    Many thanks!


  2. #2
    geomum is offline Registered User
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    Yup that works, as per Govt guidelines you have pay the Helper 740HKD if she is not eating at home. I pay my Helper the same amount as she doesn't eat with us.
    I think you are right about getting pissed, she is not even asking for the money for her meals just taking it from your purse, its a bit too much. Many Helpers buy groceries separately and then cook their food at home, only using the employers spices or rice. You can tell her to learn how to cook her own meals.


  3. #3
    lesliefu is offline Registered User
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    i think it would be easiest for you to give her the food allowance...don't quite understand how you can tolerate her going into your purse for money! that's just plain rude! anyhow...i give the food allowance but on top of that if i cook extra food then i will still give her some. sometimes i might give her a couple apples when i buy a lot - but i don't feel obliged and it's kind of like a treat. my mom provides coffee / sugar / rice so they don't have to pay for that - she doesn't believe that should come from their pocket...but everyone is different, that's just her.

    i think she should be asked to try to cook - your kids are older and my guess is they go to full day school so she has the time to "experiment" at home and get things right...she might not have the touch, but basic things like mac and cheese, etc. should not be difficult - so that eventually you kids can eat at home and she can take some work load off of you..if that is what you would like.


  4. #4
    rani's Avatar
    rani is offline Administrator
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    She can't make eggs or even a sandwich? Our fridge is always well stocked and our previous helper would just make a quick stir fry for herself if there weren't leftovers. If she was feeling lazy, she loved instant noodles and tinned sardines (would add to the grocery list).


  5. #5
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    for 5 years, our helper ate the same food as we did. if we went out, we usually invited her, too. sometimes she came with us and sometimes she didn't.

    when we hired her husband, they preferred to cook their own food (actually, she prefers to eat ours, he prefers to cook his own, so they cook their own). i give them $500/week as i just can't see how they could survive on $740 each. we provide rice, oil and condiments. so far, it was worked out well.

    HOWEVER, from the sounds of things, you aren't very happy with your helper anyway. if she isn't helping you, she's not doing her job and you should fire her and find someone who compliments your needs.


  6. #6
    ihave3cats is offline Registered User
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    Lesliefu and geomum, I have a separate purse just for grocery. She has access to this purse. I put it in the living area. Usually just 100 inside for emergency grocery, eg I forgot to buy certain things, and I will call her to ge it for me. But then I try not to ask her to do that nowadays cos she can take 1 hr just to get one or 2 things. It's amazing cos we have Jusco just 5 mins away. So carang, u are right. I am not happy with her quality of work at all. I guess the food thing just adds up to it.
    She likes to go get her meals from Yoshinoya near my place.. I know I should have told her off the very first time she does that. I tried to buy her lunch boxes from supermarket when I dun cook.. She told me straight she dun like the food. Once I even saw her throwing untouched food away. This is totally against my attitude towards food. That's why I am wondering if she has her own allowance, she will try to finish everything instead.
    Oh, She told me sandwiches are for breakfast! It's not enough for her as a meal!!!!


  7. #7
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    i think you need to find a new helper. it sounds to me like the issue over food is just one of many.


  8. #8
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by carang View Post
    HOWEVER, from the sounds of things, you aren't very happy with your helper anyway. if she isn't helping you, she's not doing her job and you should fire her and find someone who compliments your needs.
    I agree. In my experience, it generally doesn't get better. If you have misgivings about your helper--especially after 4 months (our first was with us for 5) then it's time to find a different helper. Why not be satisfied with your helper? Our first helper was really not up to standard and then I would look at my friends who got along well with their helpers and say to myself, "Why can't that be my own situation?" So, we just decided to let the first helper go and hire a different one and I am SO glad that we did because our current helper fits perfectly with our family.

    As far as food goes, when I interviewed our current helper before giving her the job I asked specific questions like "Describe to me a typical meal that you would cook--tell me the ingredients and the procedure for making it." I figured if she could do that she could likely cook. And then I sat down with her and we talked about a meal plan and we literally came up with a month's-worth of meals that we rotate so there is always a prepared meal in our house (she is the one who cooks it). She eats with us and because she's taken to the new recipes quite well we find that we don't need to go out to eat much at all. Once in awhile we invite her to eat out with us but we don't feel obligated to do that--there is always plenty of food in our house--whether it's left-overs or just materials to cook the food with.

    Also, I only work on a reimbursement plan with her--for her Octopus card (which she uses only for travel designated by us) and for meals. I give her a budget--she spends her own money and then brings me a receipt. If she overspends (the budget is $25 HKD/meal and she spends $30 HKD) I am only going to reimburse what was in the budget so she whatever is extra comes from her own pocket. However, because we don't eat out often and I really like my helper and consider her like a family member, once in awhile I will just give her $100 HKD on a Sunday and say "Treat yourself and your friends to lunch"--she can choose to save the money but usually she just takes her girlfriends out for lunch.

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