- 08-15-2010, 01:46 PM #1Registered User
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
- Hong Kong
My 8-month-old baby boy has been quite active since birth, but it has become even more noticeable in the past one month. He likes to scream, bangs objects on the floor, doesn’t want to sit still at all and prefers crawling all over the place, bites and wrestles with us. Up until a month ago, he wasn’t that different from my friends’ baby girls, but he is clearly more aggressive than them now. Of course part of his active behavior probably comes from his own personality (he’s very strong-headed like his mummy), and also from his sleep issues (he headbuts people when tired and sleepy). But I wonder if it’s typical at his age to see divergence between boys’ behavior and girls’. I feel a bit overwhelmed and sometimes evern wonder if my baby has an attention deficit disorder...
My friend in the UK told me that she was also overwhelmed by her baby boy’s behavior, and even attended a seminar on how to raise a boy! She suggested that I should make friends with mums with active boys so that I don’t feel that my baby has become such a monster (!) and get reassurance that boys are boys and they just have more energy than girls to burn off.
When do baby boys start showing typical boys’ behavior and what kind of behavior should I expect?
- 08-15-2010, 01:59 PM #2
I think a lot of it has to do with personality.
I have a close group of friends with kids all born in the same month as my daughter. There's 3 boys and 2 girls. They are now 22 months and we've been friends since they were about 4 months old. The other girl is EXTREMELY "girly" and loves playing with her kitchen and baby dolls and things like that. She's also very neat and tidy, it's crazy. One of the boys is the most active out of the 5 kids. He runs EVERYWHERE, never walks. He kind of jumps around. My daughter is probably the 2nd most active, I think...
I think that a lot of it is personality, there are gender "stereotypes" but some boys are quieter and more interested in "house toys" and other girls are more active (like my daughter) and would rather run around outside and play with balls instead of baby dolls etc.
I think just accept your child for who he is and encourage him to grow into his natural talents and abilities, as well as his own personality. There are strengths to being active, it's not all a negative thing. Embrace it :)
That said, there's never any harm in reading books etc... I've heard there's a Christian book called "Bringing up boys" by James Dobson that a lot of my Christian friends have raved about, I've never read it but I know the author is more "traditional Christian values" kind of parenting (ie, he's an advocate of spanking and being firm, setting strict boundaries etc).
- 08-15-2010, 04:22 PM #3Registered User
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Mid-Levels, Hong Kong
Hey, go easy on the little man, he's only 8 months old! I think biting at this age is absolutely normal its partly teething and partly exploring, they won't be able to empathise that it hurts so just a firm no and putting them down/taking them away from whoever they are biting should indicate this is undesirable behaviour.
Wrestling and tickling is fun and an absolute staple entertainment in our house - I don't see it as a negative!
Head butting may be a phase or may be indicating some sort of frustration, or as you say, tiredness - I'd be tempted to ignore it and distract him.
I think that on average boys walk a little earlier than girls and girls talk a little earlier but that isn't always true and soon evens out - as Nicole says there are plenty of active little girls out there and all my son's friends are boys and some of them are active and some of them aren't.
I think maybe you just need to adjust from the more static form of parenting that an under six month old requires to the dynamic parenting a moving baby requires. What I mean is that a young baby is demanding in many ways but generally stays where they are put, an older active baby needs constant chasing, a lot of stimulation, distraction and activity. It's a shock to the system at first but you will soon adjust to it and learn what you need to do to make your days more enjoyable again.
My son has always been active, he's a year old now and crawled fairly early and walked at 10 months, he's now almost running and often attempts jumping, he can't help it, he loves to move. I soon worked out that trying to spend a nice relaxing day at home with him is an absolute no-no, it results in tears of frustration and boredom from him and by the end of the day I'm more stressed and exhausted than if I'd taken him out for a 10 mile hike!
My helper or I take him to the playground for a run around at least once, and often twice a day and in addition to that I make sure I take him out once a day whether it's for lunch and a run around a shopping centre, gymboree, panda junction, swimming, or a playdate. We also have some elc music cd's and do lots of activity songs, stomping and clapping etc... By doing all this he's kept active, is tired for his naps and for bedtime and everybody's happy! For some kids this would be too much in a day, for my son it's essential to plan an active day.
I also like that at the playgroups they do a circle time where he has to sit and concentrate as well as having all the activity - I think that for an active boy that's a good skill to practice early on!
So I'd relax about his behaviour, this is the age when they really start exploring and interacting with their environment and that includes banging doors, pulling and pushing furniture, shaking things to see what falls off and many more behaviours that could be seen as aggressive or ADD-like but are really just exploring and learning about cause and effect. At the same time see what you can do to step up the activity so that he is not getting bored and frustrated and is nice and tired at the end of the day.
Enjoy your little boy, he sounds great and I think it's far too early to be thinking about behaviour issues.
- 08-15-2010, 06:40 PM #4Registered User
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
- Tsuen Wan
Since my boy was around 1(he`s now 19 m), I can honestly call him a real boy`s boy. He`s sweet and loving and sensitive too, but he clearly loves being around other boys, chasing balls, imitating the big boys, running, jumping, climbing, tearing the house down, you name it, just being a monkey most of the time. I take him out 2-3 times a day, as he goes a bit stir crazy at home. Needless to say, it`s exhausting:)
I don`t think that you have to worry about your son. He sounds really spirited and that can also equal high intelligence so you might find yourself quite proud of him soon:)
- 08-16-2010, 10:34 PM #5Registered User
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
- Hong Kong
Thanks ladies for all your advices. My baby's behavior has some to do with his sleeping problems, which I'm working on now, so hopefully once he sleeps better, he'll calm down a bit. But as you all say, I shall embrace who he is (he is gorgeous by the way), and get more active with him (it helps me to lose that ab fat I still cannot get rid of post pregnancy!).
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